Page 24 of Hard Ball

“Harper, believe it or not, you are allowed to be upset. Just because a certain amount of time has passed doesn’t mean you have to stop feeling sad.” The look in his eye makes my lips turn up, and when our eyes meet, I’m rewarded with the sweetest smile. The one that, no matter how many times I try to resist, makes my knees weak.

“Thanks,” I say, starting to walk away, but he holds me still once more, stopping me.

“Are you free tonight?” he asks, and I automatically shake my head. No matter how good it felt talking to him, no matter how good it feels being this close to him, I can’t do this. I can’t let myself be a part of this world again.

“Don’t you have a game tonight?” I tease, knowing that he does and by the look on his face, he forgot.

“Shit, what about after the game?”

I give him a look, telling him without words just how unlikely that would be even if I said yes. There is no way I’ll be up late enough.

“What about tomorrow?”

I admire his persistence.

“It’s always going to be a no, Josh.” The pit in my stomach gets heavier the more I think about Josh not being in my life, but the panic that sets in when I think about what my life would be like with him? That feeling takes over all of my senses no matter how hard I try and fight them.

“Why?”

“Do I need a reason?” I ask as he inches closer. I close my eyes and that picture from the other night flashes behind my eyes and before I think better of it, I say, “I saw the picture of you and Angela from the basketball game.”

He physically recoils and I can tell from the panic in his eyes, he knows exactly what picture I’m talking about.

“Shit.”

My shoulders fall, every horrible scenario playing out right in front of me.

“She ambushed me at the game. She knew there were cameras there and sat beside me especially to get noticed. I swear nothing happened. I promise.”

He steps close as I step back, needing space because the closer he gets the cloudier my head becomes. But he keeps coming toward me until I hit the wall. His face is inches from mine and my breath catches at just how much my body reacts to him when he’s this close. I shut my eyes, telling myself repeatedly over and over again that he’s a baseball player.

You do not date baseball players.

Yet my body is currently saying something completely different.

His hand reaches up and as I open my eyes, he places a stray hair behind my ear, brushing the side of my face with the tips of his fingers. I can only imagine what those fingers would feel like on other parts of my body. The image of his hands on me sends a moan ripping from my throat, and I notice Josh tense in front of me.

“You seriously have no idea what you do to me,” he growls, his eyes never leaving mine. “I know you feel this, Harper, I know you want me just as much as I want you. I felt it that night at the bar and after I heard that sexy moan come out of your mouth? Now I know I won’t be able to stay away.” His breath on my skin has my head tilting back against the wall for the second time.

“I don’t date athletes,” I repeat, not knowing if I’m saying it for him or for myself.

He presses himself closer, the growing arousal against my stomach sends my mind somewhere else completely.

“I will change your mind,” he says, placing a soft kiss on my temple and releasing me.

I peer up at him, expecting to see that same desire that’s coursing through me, but what I see is that desire plus pure determination.

It’s at that moment my phone chimes and as I take it out of my pocket, feeling Josh’s eyes on me the entire time, I open the text from Mel.

Mel: Your boy has quite the stalker

The second I see the picture attached, my body goes cold and my eyes narrow. As I peer up at Josh, anger coursing through my body the longer I stare at him, I wonder what about me screams “easy mark,” to men like him. Seeing him in a coffee shop with Angela hanging off him is enough to make me run for the hills.

“You want to know the real reason I don’t date athletes?” I ask, Josh slowly nodding as I hold up my phone so he can see the picture. “Because they’re always fucking liars. That’s why.” “Harper that’s not what you think, I promise.” I shake my head, not wanting to hear it.

“Josh, I don’t really care. Right now I’ve seen two different sets of pictures with the same girl, and that girl happens to be the bane of my existence, so if you’ll excuse me, I am going to get back to work.” And with that I walk back down the hall and into my office where I shut my office door until I know he’s gone.

I know telling him to get lost is a good thing. I don’t need to worry about who he’s with when I'm not around, but why does it feel like I just ripped out my heart and dragged it through the mud?

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