Page 18 of Hard Ball

“I know you hate him…” she starts, but I stop her.

“That’s an understatement,” I murmur, hearing the edge in my voice.

That boy was a bastard and a half. He made Mel fall in love with him and over the course of a year, he shattered everything. He’s the reason we moved out of the dorms and into our own place. He was the reason she looked over her shoulder for three years waiting for him to come back.

“But I felt loved when I was with him, I felt like I belonged somewhere, you know?”

I smile softly, knowing exactly what she’s feeling. Even though I hate him, I get it. I had that feeling with Cole, and it’s the one I miss the most.

“That’s normal and trust me, I get it. But what caused this? You haven’t been with Carson in over five years, what changed?”

Before she can answer, my phone goes off in the kitchen. I ignore it, but when it goes off, again and again, I make my way into the kitchen to grab it. When I check to see who it is, I groan.

“Who is it?” Mel asks as I walk back into the room with my phone in hand. I sit down next to her and show her the screen with missed calls from Cole. “Jesus. Does that boy ever take a hint?”

“I honestly don’t know what else to do, I’ve told him so many times that we’re over…” I lean back on the couch wondering how I’m going to get him to stop this.

“Well, I can think of something that might work…” Mel suggests, looking like she has something up her sleeve. That is never a good sign. “You could go out with a certain baseball player, that might send Cole the hint he so desperately needs.”

I roll my eyes, shaking my head. If I need to date a guy to get rid of another guy, my life is just turning sad and pathetic.

“You never know, it might work.”

I know she means well, but I know that’s not the way to handle this.

“Nope, no way. I’ll endure Cole’s insufferable torture before I purposefully date Josh just to get rid of him.” I finish just as another text comes through. I miss you, baby. Call me. I shut off my phone completely, without responding.

“I know you like him, Harper.” My stern look does nothing but make her shake her head. “You do. You blush whenever I mention his name and I know you think about him.”

I scoff. “I do not,” I lie.

“A guy that gorgeous? You would be stupid not to think about him.”

I blush again. Fuck, I hate having fair skin. Traitor.

“Okay, so maybe I daydream about him, but that doesn’t mean I want to date him. It’s too soon after the whole Cole situation.” I can’t go into a relationship when the last one still hasn’t left me alone. That’s not fair to either of us.

“I call bullshit.” My eyes bug out of my head as Mel gets this smug grin on her face. “You’re scared.”

The idea of actually falling for someone like Josh makes my insides tremble, and for a good reason. Seeing him with Henry, at our gym, being around my family, around my life, I can picture what that life would look like. I can see the happiness and the love that would come from it, but then I remember my father, and what the game did to him, and how he lost it all in a split second only for him to be stolen from me.

My reality is always so much worse than my fantasy.

“What if I am scared?” I whisper, Mel’s arms wrapping around me as she brings me into a hug I desperately need.

“Then face it. Fear is not an emotion to live by. Your dad would want you to be happy, no matter the circumstances and that includes dating a baseball player. A fucking hot one at that…”

I laugh against her shoulder. She’s not wrong, he is hot.

“I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“Harper, you’re allowed to feel that way. Just don’t lie to him or yourself. Stringing him along is not fair to Josh.” She squeezes me as I rest my head on her shoulder. If only guys were as easy to read as me.

I wake to the smell of coffee and when I move to get out of bed, the pounding in my head reminds me of the seemingly endless glasses of wine I had last night.

“Wake up, sleepyhead!” Mel yells from outside my bedroom door. I don’t know how she can even walk right now with how much we both drank. “Henry has already called wondering when you’re getting to work!”

Fuck.

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