Page 27 of Holiday Hookup

“So how long will you be gone?” I ask, hearing the break in my voice and trying to hide it. But it’s no use, Dane moves closer as he takes my hand and brings it to his lips for a soft kiss.

“Trust me when I tell you I don’t even want to leave. What we’ve created here in the last few weeks has been heaven, but I have to go back. I have to make sure this is put to bed once and for all so that it won’t come back to haunt me.”

“I don’t know if I can handle you going back there.”

His fingers squeeze mine, reminding me that he’s still holding me.

“I know you care for us. I know you love the life you’ve created here, but what if you go back and realize that’s the life you want? What if—”

He cuts me off by placing his finger against my mouth.

“There is nothing on this earth that would make me want to leave you and Jaxon. I know our relationship is new, I know we’re on rocky ground right now, but I have to leave and I need you to trust the fact that I want to be with you and only you while I’m gone. Okay?”

“Okay,” I whisper, hoping the fears I know will surface the second he leaves this apartment stay at bay, because I’m falling in love with Dane Thompson, and he has the ability to shatter my heart into a million pieces.

Chapter 20

These last three days have been utter hell. I’ve plastered that stupid smile on my face so many times that I think my face might actually be broken. I hate everything about what I’m doing. I hate pretending that the band’s back together for the sake of the media, I hate pretending that we are recording when in fact we’re sitting in a room negotiating our contract, and I hate being away from Nel and Jaxon.

“Dane, please. Just listen to us, we just want one more record, you don’t even have to tour, just record the album and you’ll be done.” That’s Brent trying to appease everyone but we both know that the label will want a tour, especially if it gets out that this is our last one. The fans will eat up a farewell tour more than any of our last ones combined. I know that he knows that, and from the satisfied smirk on Frankie’s face, he knows that too.

“Dane.” I look over at my lawyer, wondering why I pay him so much fucking money if he can’t get me out of this. “Why don’t you go back to the hotel, think about everything and we can talk again in the morning.”

I nod my head, not saying a word as I leave the room, calling for my ride and waiting by the back entrance just to avoid being seen by my fans. This is why I moved away. This anxious, nervous feeling I get whenever I’m here is clawing its way back into my bones and all I want to do is call Nellie and hear her sweet voice. I want to talk to Jaxon and hear how his day was, what he did at school and what his new favorite TV show is.

I miss them.

“Hey, you…” The sound of Nellie’s voice is music to my ears as I lay down on my bed and stare at the television that is currently showing some sitcom I’ve never seen before.

“Hey, sweetheart, did I wake you?” I look at the time and realize it might be after her bedtime, but when I hear her whispered laugh, I smile.

“No, I just put Jaxon to bed for the fourth time tonight.” She sighs, and I wish I could be there to help her. “How was your day?” She yawns as I toe off my shoes and get comfortable.

“Frustrating,” I admit, telling her everything that happened in the meeting, including the fact that everyone wants me to record another album.

“And you for sure don’t want that?” she questions, and I think about it for a second because this is the first time in months that I have someone to talk to about this shit.

“Honestly, I was afraid when I came back here that I’d change my mind. That I’d fall in love with this life all over again…”

“And did you?” The fear in her voice breaks my heart.

This is what I was afraid of when I left, that she’d take that as proof that what I said on Christmas Day didn’t mean anything, that the fact that I was falling in love with her had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me just wanting out of my contract.

“Not even a little bit.”

Her sigh of relief washes over me as I tilt my head back and close my eyes.

“I miss you,” I confess, loving her intake of breath as I groan into my empty hotel room.

“I miss you too, do you know when you’re coming home?”

“God, I love that you call your place home,” I admit as I sit up, pinching the bridge of my nose as I imagine what life would be like if her place was my home. “I don’t know, I hope it’s soon, but with negotiations going so horribly today, it doesn’t look good.” When Nel says nothing, I take a deep breath. “You still there, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I just hate being this far away from you, and knowing you’re over there surrounded by all those women that would do anything to be yours…”

“Stop, Nellie. Stop that train of thought right in its tracks because it’s bullshit. If I was able, I would fly home to you and Jaxon right now, but I need to stay and figure this out. For me and for us, okay?”

Her breath hitches and I know she’s crying.

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