Page 17 of Holiday Hookup

“Why did you leave?”

The lightness in the room disappears and all of a sudden, the weight I’ve been avoiding crashes on my shoulders.

“Something was missing,” I start, trying to explain what I felt the night of our last tour. “When I’m on stage, it’s like I’m a different person. I become someone else.”

She nods, not saying a word.

“But when I go back to my place? When I try to write songs that I hope our fans will love, there’s this weight on me that never seems to go away, and it gets worse with each album.”

“You’re fighting yourself.”

And just like that, she puts all my feelings into three simple words. Because yes, that is exactly what it feels like and I’ve spent the last year trying to figure that out.

“So, you decided to leave the band, and now what? You’re trying to be a normal person?” The sarcasm in her voice can’t be ignored, so I push away from the counter and stalk toward her, slowly.

“And what do you know about being a normal person? Because from where I’m standing you’re anything but normal, sweetheart.”

She cocks her head to the side, wondering what I mean, so I lean in until my lips are a hairsbreadth away from the shell of her ear.

“You are so fucking incredible, the way you take care of Jax, work full time, all while looking like something out of my wet dreams.”

Her intake of breath lets me know I’ve affected her, but when she moans into my shoulder, my fingers grazing her hip, finding the hem of her shirt and pulling her closer, I’m done fighting this.

“Dane, we can’t…” she whispers, her fingers gripping my waist, holding me steady.

“Why not? I know you feel this. I know you want me as much as I want you.”

She lowers her head until it’s resting against my chest and before I think better of it, I kiss her temple, loving the sigh that escapes her.

“I do feel this, I think that’s pretty obvious from the multiple times my mouth has been on yours.”

My growl is involuntary but necessary.

“But my life doesn’t mesh with yours. Especially now that I know your more than my neighbor. You’re famous, Dane, and I can’t put my kid through that.”

“Who says I want to go back?” There it is. The truth I’ve been holding in for the past few weeks. “Who says that the guy who recorded all of those albums, wrote all of those songs, and slept with all of those women even exists anymore?”

Her head is still planted on my chest as she shakes it, not believing a word I’m saying.

“I’m not that guy anymore, and if I’m being honest with myself, I haven’t been that guy for a very long time.”

Finally, she lifts her head, her gaze meeting mine, desire clouding her features, I know I can’t hold back anymore. So, I lean down and kiss her. Because that is the only thing I want right now. More than music, more than a hit song, and more than the air I breathe. I just want to feel her against me.

Chapter 13

I knew he was going to kiss me the second our eyes met. I’d seen that look before and the memory of what that look meant set my skin on fire, and before I have the chance to second-guess if this is a good idea, he’s on me and I’m melting into his touch.

I’m not pretending I don’t want this; I’m done hiding behind my son as an excuse to get him to leave me alone because the feelings that are coursing through my blood right now are something I never want to let go of.

“Dane…” I moan as his lips fall from mine, trailing down my neck as his fingers play with the hem of my T-shirt.

“Did you wear this to drive me fucking insane? Because that’s what you’re doing.”

The words are muttered against my skin and not meant for a reply. His fingers skim the outside of my thighs, causing a shiver to roll through my entire body as his lips find purchase in the crook of my neck.

“Dane, please…” I beg. I don’t think he realizes how much I need this; how much I’ve fought against this for the last week and how much my body is craving his touch right now.

“How long has it been?” He growls, pulling away and placing his palms against the side of my cheek.

---