Page 15 of Holiday Hookup

“Cheryl, you know if I could I would love to help you…” I start, but she holds up her hand to stop me.

“Why did you want to work here?” she asks as I give her a confused look, and when she doesn’t say a word, I take a deep breath.

“I needed a job,” I admit, looking away and taking in all the awards, plaques, and diplomas that adorn her walls. “I had just gotten divorced and I was on my own for the first time in my life and needed stability.”

She nods her head as if she expected that answer. “And why have you stayed?” A knowing smile plays at the edge of her mouth as I sit back, my eyes leaving hers.

“Because I love helping people.”

Our eyes meet once more and she quirks an eyebrow. This woman knows exactly what she’s doing here. She just had me admit that I love helping people while simultaneously asking me for help.

Dang it.

“What exactly do you need to be done, Cheryl?”

She turns behind her desk and pulls out a stack of files that will take at least three hours to complete.

“These are all the files Jason left behind. Most of these needed to be in the system weeks ago…” She obviously sees the panic on my face because she pushes the stack to the side and leans forward. “Nellie, I know you have Jaxon, so if you can’t find anyone to watch him, I will find someone else. I just know I can trust you to get it done right the first time.” She’s an expert at guilt-tripping, and it’s freaking working. Plus, the overtime pay won’t hurt.

“Can I make some calls and get back to you?”

When she agrees, I head back toward my desk and start making some calls. It takes me all of five minutes to get through my list, every one of them busy, including Jenn, who is working late herself. All three of my usual babysitters are busy and as I scroll through my phone, one name pops out and I wonder if I’ve actually gone insane for trying this.

Before I lose my nerve, I press call and before long he answers.

“Hi, Dane, I need a huge favor.”

It’s after eight p.m. and I’m finally done. I put all the files back on Cheryl’s desk for her assistant to file in the morning, turn off my computer, and finally make my way to my car. The streets are lined with Christmas lights, every pole, every lamp, and every window seems to remind me that Christmas is only a week away and I just took my son out of his home.

I pause just behind my car, my hands resting on the trunk as the tears stream down my cheeks. The heaving, all-consuming guilt I’ve been pushing down over the past few days now flows over me like rain, soaking into my skin and burrowing deep into every crevasse of my subconscious.

Am I doing the right thing? Did I just ruin Jaxon’s Christmas by staying at Dane’s? I shake myself out of that train of thought, pushing all of it aside as I take a deep breath and drive myself home. My mind is anywhere but on the road in front of me, and the harder I try to convince myself that I’m a good mom, the louder that evil voice in the back of my head becomes.

By the time I park outside our building, I’m exhausted. The last twelve hours are weighing heavy as I open the front door and head toward the elevator. As the floor ascends, that sinking feeling creeps through my bones. What if Dane didn’t pick up Jaxon? What if something horrible happened while I was gone? I shake the thoughts out of my head because I know deep down that Dane would have called.

Before I open the front door, I take a deep breath preparing myself for the worst, but what I don’t expect is opening the door and being bombarded with the smell of fresh pine. As my eyes adjust to the darkness, I take in the room around me. It’s a completely different room from the one I left this morning, with twinkling lights on every surface. Flashing red, green, orange, and pink lights flash as I close the door behind me. But what has me gasping is the franken-tree that sits in the corner, looking like one of the ugliest Christmas trees I have ever seen in my entire life. There is tinsel everywhere, but what makes me laugh is the fact that it stops halfway up the tree, and I smile, knowing that that is because Jaxon couldn’t reach any higher. The top of the tree looks like an adult decorated it, with color-coordinated decorations and well-placed streamers. But it’s not until I get closer that I stop short, taking in the handcrafted ornaments that I’ve never seen before.

Best Mom Ever is written on cut pieces of round wood, painted to look like a Christmas tree, wreaths, and candy canes. The tears fall silently as my fingers trace the letters, I know Dane wrote out first, so Jaxon could trace them.

It’s the sweetest thing I have ever seen.

“He asked me to make those for you.”

I turn, gasping at the sight of him shirtless, with low hanging pajama pants giving me an eyeful. My brain short-circuits as I continue to look around the room.

“When did you…”

He gives me that smirk and when his eyes finally leave mine and take in the room surrounding us, I let out a breath.

“When I picked him up from school, he kept talking about how worried he was about how Santa wouldn’t know where he was, and he would miss Christmas. Plus, he complained for about fifteen minutes straight about how un-Christmassy my apartment was, so I fixed it.” He shrugs, like what he just told me doesn’t change everything.

“You fixed it,” I repeat, trying to gather myself because what I want to do right now is just wrap myself around him and never let go.

“I will say that hanging that sign on your door felt like overkill, but it made the little man happy.”

I scrunch my nose, not knowing what he’s talking about. When he senses my confusion, he motions with a nod of his head to go out into the hall.

As I open the door and see a big red sign that says Santa, Jaxon is across the hall, I can’t help but laugh.

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