Page 19 of Easy To Lose

Even then, I knew I loved Owen. Maybe it was only in that teenage way that always seems so incredibly consuming in the moment. However, it still felt incredibly fragile as if everything were just some dream I concocted out of thin air to help myself cope with everything around me.

It wasn’t until prom that I realized the illusion was just that: an illusion. Reality came crashing down, and I learned that even if someone showed you their best side, the opposite could happen just as fast. Owen’s eyes track me as I grapple with the words he’s saying, but it’s only when his hand reaches over and rests lightly on mine that our eyes lock.

“I know your version of that night is vastly different from mine, and I’m so sorry for that. I want you to know that everything I did was to protect you.” I roll my eyes, sick and tired of hearing that from someone who was supposed to be my best friend. Instead, he became my worst enemy, all in the span of one night.

“Protect me? Is that what you thought you were doing? Because what you did was destroy me. It took me years to get over that betrayal. It took me years of ignoring memories of you for me to finally move past that night…” What I don’t say is that prom night changed me. It made me realize that I couldn’t dream of being with someone like Owen because boys like him weren’t meant for girls like me. Society never understands that. I mean, for God’s sake, there’s probably a reality show about a fat girl with a hot guy. I shudder at the thought of the judgement passed on to not only the woman but also the man for settling for someone society deems beneath him.

“Morgan, I spent most of prom night trying to convince Kelly not to humiliate you for the rest of the year. She knew how I felt about you. I don’t know how, but she did. And she used those feelings to make me do whatever she wanted. Was I wrong to follow her? Yes. If I could go back and do it all over, I’d ignore her and just protect you, no matter what she tried to do. But I was young, and I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“So, she was blackmailing you?” I ask, confused because none of this makes sense. Owen nods, waiting for everything he said to sink in. “You’re telling me that Kelly, the captain of the cheerleading squad, found out that you had feelings for me and used that to get you to stand me up on prom night?” I can hear my disbelief. Because it doesn’t seem plausible. In my mind, the Owen from high school didn’t have feelings for me. He didn’t want to love me. He just wanted to be my friend. So, differentiating between the Owen I thought I knew and the Owen that is being presented to me now, is hard.

“You don’t believe me,” he states, his hand falling away as he stands and starts to pace around the room. I just sit there, wondering where the hell we go from here. “Even after that first kiss—hell, even after that kiss a few minutes ago—you still can’t understand that I’m attracted to you?” His voice sounds agitated, and that’s the moment my wall extends even higher. Nope. Not happening.

“Can you blame me? I was in love with you in high school, and you ditched me. Never speaking to me again.” He goes to say something, but I stop him. “Then I went to college and tried my best to get over you, and what did I do then? I fell for the first guy that batted an eye in my direction. He ended up asking me to marry him, only to sleep with his secretary the night of my birthday party!” I scream, feeling my chest compress as the weight of what I’m saying hits me. I didn’t mean to blurt out all my baggage about Aaron, but it came out faster than I could control it. The fury in Owen’s eyes makes me step back, but a second later, his gaze softens, allowing me to relax a bit.

“I didn’t want to stop talking to you, but you ignored me whenever I tried. And you moved away right after graduation.” His arms become more animated the more frustrated he gets. “I even tried to get your parents to tell me where you went, but they wouldn’t say a word.” I say a silent prayer and then thank them for that.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s in the past,” I mutter, trying to get past him, needing some space that doesn’t include his presence. But Owen just shakes his head, gently grabbing my arm and holding me in place.

“No, it’s not. Morgan, don’t you get it?” I look at him, confused.

“Get what?” The second the question is out of my mouth, he’s on me, his mouth on mine. Yet this time, it’s different. It’s not rushed or bruising. It’s gentle, soft, and all-consuming to the point where I forget what we were talking about. When our lips part, he holds my face steady in his hands as our eyes lock.

“Do you get it yet?” I shake my head, just wanting to feel his lips on mine once more. And from the smirk on his face, Owen has caught on to my plan. “M, you have always been my endgame. Even when we were apart, I thought of you all the time. I never forgave myself for what I did that night, but I knew that if and when I saw you next, I wouldn’t waste the opportunity.” His lips lightly graze mine, a whisper of a touch compared to the two previous times he touched me.

“But—” I begin. He shakes his head and holds a finger to my lips.

“No, I don’t want to hear any of that right now. Right now, I just want to show you. Because, obviously, words are not working.” The second those words leave his mouth, the air in the room changes, and my head falls back as his lips find purchase on my skin once more. “Words will come later. Right now, I just want you to feel. Okay, baby?” I shiver, secretly loving the nickname I always wished he’d call me.

Before I have a chance to grasp what he means, his lips are on mine, and he attacks me with more passion than any of the previous make out sessions we’ve had combined. My hands delve into his blond hair, his backwards hat falling to the floor as his tongue demands entrance to my mouth. Every single doubt I had flies out the window as his hands travel past my hips and land on my ass. He lifts me, pinning me to the wall behind us.

The groan that leaves my throat echoes through the room as Owen’s lips trail down my neck, leaving me boneless in their wake. “M, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this…” he grunts into my skin as my head falls back against the wall and I try to let those words soak in. Before I have a chance to overthink what he said, and what all of this means for us, Owen takes one of his hands and cups the side of my face, bringing my eyes to his. “I know we still have a lot to talk about. But right now, I just want it to be us, like this. Okay?” I nod because the idea of stopping whatever this is doesn’t seem plausible to me.

His breath cascades over my skin as he kisses the shell of my ear, sending shivers up my spine. My hips move, searching for friction. Owen wraps his arm around my back, pulling me away from the wall as he walks us slowly across the room.

“Owen, put me down, I’m too heavy,” I whisper against him, not wanting him to listen to me but still worried, nonetheless.

“Stop. You weigh less than what I bench press on a light day, so get those thoughts out of your head. If I want to pick you up, I damn well will.” I inwardly groan at the bossiness because fuck, it’s attractive. And the way he just lifts me, walking as if I weigh nothing, wages a war inside my brain. I want to believe him, I want to feel comfortable in his arms, but I’m waiting for him to drop me.

It never comes.

He stops in front of the couch but doesn’t sit. He just locks eyes with me, places both of his hands under my legs, and lifts me higher so my elbows can rest comfortably on his shoulders.

“I won’t drop you,” he whispers before his lips lightly brush against mine. Before I can apologize, he sits down, taking me with him. The moment my legs move over his hips, I feel the leverage of the cushion under my knees, and the way his cock feels against my still-covered pussy. I can’t help but groan.

“That’s it, baby. Feel what you do to me?” He moans as my hips move of their own accord. I start to ride him, loving the feeling of his hardness against me, and the lightning rods of pleasure it causes throughout my body. “Fuck, I always knew you’d feel amazing…” He groans again as his head falls against the back of the couch. I use that as an excuse to taste him. My lips find the crook of his neck, and when my lips tentatively kiss up the column, his intake of breath and the jerk of his hips spurs me on.

His flavor is unlike anything I imagined. I don’t know why I expected him to taste like something out of a protein powder container, but he doesn’t. It’s intoxicating, and the longer my lips explore his skin, the more my hips ride him like I’m fucking him into the couch.

Owen’s hands grip my hips, and he rocks me back and forth against his cock, sending shockwaves throughout my entire body. Before long, I feel the ripples of pleasure rumble inside as my orgasm builds, the harder I ride him. My body starts to shake, and I know I’m seconds away from coming. Owen seems to notice too, because he wraps one arm around my lower back and lifts his hips in time with each of my thrusts, his lips tracing the edge of my throat.

“Come for me, Morgan. I want to feel you fall apart in my arms.” The second those words leave his mouth, I blast apart, his lips searing mine, swallowing my screams of pleasure. I can’t control my rhythm as my body convulses and one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had rolls through me. I try not to think about how the best climax I’ve ever had is while I’m still fully clothed. But I’m distracted by the fact that Owen stiffens under me as my hips continue their undulations, causing another groan to leave him as he leans his head against my chest. My arms move around his neck, pulling him closer.

“Fucking hell, I haven’t done that since I was a teenager,” he growls against me. I lean back, laughing as his smile lights up his entire face. “God, you’re so beautiful when you smile like that…” His voice lowers, and then his lips take mine in one of the sweetest kisses I have ever experienced, leaving me both sated and more confused than ever.

Chapter 16

Owen

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