Page 20 of Sweet Valentine

“Shit. You scared the crap out of me,” I say, taking deep breaths and trying not to hurl again. I take a moment to look at him and wonder how the hell he got into my house. My eyes travel up the length of him. He’s in dark-wash jeans and a button-up shirt that looks as if it’s seen better days. His hair is a mess, falling loosely across his forehead, devoid of any product. But what gets to me are his eyes. I stare at them and see regret mirrored back at me. They’re pools of sorrow, and it takes everything in me not to get up from where I’m sitting and go to him.

I need to remember why last night happened. I need to remember that this man lied to me from the beginning—no matter how much my heart hurts to look at him like this.

“Um…I threw a vodka bottle against the wall?” I question, trying to remember what the hell happened after I slammed the door in his face. He nods as I look down at my hands. “How did I get all these cuts then…?” Noah sighs, leaning his shoulder against the doorjamb as he crosses his arms.

“You tried to clean it up by scooping the shards of glass off the floor with your bare hands.” I can see the smirk trying to escape from his lips, and I can’t help it, I start to laugh.

“Fucking hell. I really need a babysitter when I drink.” I hear him chuckle, but I keep my eyes on the floor. I can’t look at him. His smell is already penetrating my senses, and I can feel myself cracking…I can’t break. “I don’t remember letting you in.” He shakes his head and makes his way into the room. I cringe at every step, and he stops. He sits at the foot of my bed, while I make my way to the top and slip back under the covers. “Did I let you in?”

He nods and then says, “I would have found a way in no matter what. The sound of that crash took years off my life.”

“Well, thank you for that, and for taking care of me. I know it’s the last thing you probably wanted to do, but I appreciate it.”

“You don’t get it, do you? I would do almost anything for you, to make sure you’re okay. After I saw you stumble home piss-ass drunk, it was the least I could do.” My eyes lower again, knowing that this is the moment where everything gets spilled out in the open. My heart is beating a million miles per minute, and I know if he comes close enough, Noah will be able to hear it. This is not how I saw this going. I imagined myself ignoring him until he gave up. I saw myself forgetting him as best I could, even though I would likely see him around town every once in a while. I saw our lives going in opposite directions. I never saw him fighting for me. For us. I never saw him taking extreme measures to make sure I was safe, knowing full well that I hated him. I don’t know what to do with this kind of man. One who fights, one who won’t let go, even when you beg him. This type of man is the ultimate enigma.

“I don’t know what to say to that,” I say honestly. Noah takes a deep breath and faces me, one of his legs bent on the bed, the other on the floor.

“You don’t have to say anything, Val. All you have to do is listen. Can you at least give me that?” His eyes beg me to give him a chance to explain. Even with as drunk as I was last night, I know that Mandy was right. He does deserve a chance to explain himself. Even if hearing it will ultimately break my heart.

“I’m not married.” The statement is direct and to the point. “But I was.”

There it is.

“Amy and I met in high school. Our families were very close, so naturally, they pushed us to spend time together.” I cover my face with my hands and wonder if knowing any of this will make me feel better. I take a deep breath and hope to God this story doesn’t break me. After a moment of silence, Noah continues.

“At first, we hated each other. She was a stuck-up bitch, and I was too interested in school to pay attention. Then, everything changed.” I look up, and our eyes meet. The look that stares back at me tells me that this next part won’t be fun.

“My parents died, and I got lost in my own depression. I didn’t know which way was up and which way was down. I started drinking, partying every chance I got, and that’s where Amy came in. She was into all that stuff back then. Still is, if I’m honest. She knew of the best parties, where we could get the best booze. We ended up getting drunk one night, and things went from hatred to lust…really fast.” I hold up my hand to stop him.

“You don’t need to go into detail. I get it.” He bows his head, and as much as I hate every second of this, I say, “What happened after your…lust-filled encounter?” The words feel like sawdust in my mouth, but when I look up at Noah, there’s a hint of a smile on his lips. “What?”

“I just never had someone say that phrase to me before. ‘Lust-filled encounter?’” I can’t help the laugh that escapes, it does sound ridiculous.

“You know what I mean.” He nods, flashing a shy smile in my direction. “So, what happened after you two got together?”

He takes a deep breath and continues. “Well, everything happened pretty fast after that. We dated for a few months, and her parents pressured me to propose. They kept saying that I was running out of time, and that Amy was the best I would ever find.” He gives me a look of longing that tells me how untrue that statement really is for him. “Little did I know that marrying Amy would be one of the worst decisions of my life.” Before he can continue, my phone goes off beside me. I pick it up and see it’s a message from Mandy.

Mandy: Did you survive the night?

I stare at the message and wonder what I should say back because I know if I don’t reply to her soon, she’ll think the worst.

Mandy: You better answer me, or I’ll think you’re dead! I roll my eyes and reply.

Me: Calm down, I’m fine.

“That Mandy?” Noah asks. I nod, reading her next text.

Mandy: Need me to come over?

Sometimes, I wonder what I would do without her in my life. I smile and reply that she doesn’t have to come over. But her next text gives me pause. Did you talk with Noah yet? I take a minute to figure out if I want to tell her that he’s here now. Guess I better bite the bullet.

Me: He’s here.

It doesn’t take long for her to text back. When she does, she doesn’t disappoint.

Mandy: Remember when you have make-up sex to use protection! I’m not ready to be an aunt yet! I burst out laughing, showing Noah the text.

“Well, she certainly thinks things will work out,” he says, and the whole mood in the room changes. I take a good look at the man in front of me and wonder if I blew this whole scenario out of proportion. What if all of this drama was just me being overly sensitive, and all of this could have been avoided? Regardless, I need to know the rest of the story.

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