Page 86 of The B!tch List

Nancy’s Bitch List for Shaw

Maximus Douchimus

Captain Shitsmear

Shit Talking Cock Womble

Dildohead

Dipshit Cockhead

Scrote Noggin

AssiliciousFat Ass

Fucknuckle

Bronocchio

Asshobbit

Jerkass

Studly McStudly

I have no name bad enough for how sad he’s made me

Hot Sizzle

Douche Canoe

What the hell was Nancy talking about? As my girlfriend?

Hadn’t that been the exact reason why she’d thrown me out of her apartment?

“Oh, okay,” Mrs. Shelby said, smiling at Nancy and then me. “I didn’t realize that you were in a relationship Shaw. Is it a new one or is this long-standing.”

“Eleven months, thirty-three days,” Nancy answered with a cute little shrug.

Bronte coughed and Dad patted her on the back as Mom stared at me looking like she’d taken some crazy drug.

“It was a friend’s wedding,” Nancy added. “Although, we’ve known each other since kindergarten.”

“How lovely.” Mrs. Shelby turned to Mr. Alexander and evidently gave him some silent message because he nodded and wrote something down on his pad.

“All my checks should be up to date for the kindergarten that I work at.” Nancy clearly knew what the secret message was. “Well, actually I don’t work there any longer. I gave notice yesterday.”

She did? I had no idea. Why the hell didn’t she tell me? Oh, yes, because I’d been an idiot and said the wrong thing.

“You did?” Mom asked.

Nancy nodded. “Mrs. Baker was really sad to see me go.”

It was at that moment that I saw movement on the baby monitor screen and heard Tia moving around.

“I’d better go and get her,” I said, pointing to the monitor. “She’s finished her nap.”

Mrs. Shelby smiled and then immediately wrote something in her pad as I left the room. When I got to Tia’s room, she was already sitting up in the bed and babbling away to her teddy bear. She let out a big yawn and stretched and damn she looked cute with her blonde hair all messy.

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