Page 58 of The B!tch List

“Don’t be so horrible to my baby,” Mom protested. “He’s gorgeous and he was very much wanted.”

“Yeah,” Austen said, flipping both me and Bronte this time. “I was wanted because after you two they thought that they couldn’t be that unlucky a third time.”

Dad leaned closer to me and muttered, “I do believe there was wine involved.”

I burst out laughing and Mom threw him one of her hard stares that she used when she wanted us to shut up.

“Was I a drunken conception?” Austen cried. “Oh my god! Really? Please tell me Mom at least knew what was happening.”

“Don’t be so ridiculous, Austen.” Dad’s deep voice boomed around the yard. “Of course, she knew.”

“We were not drunk either,” Mom said trying to placate him. “You were very much planned. I may have had one glass of wine, but there were oysters and candles involved too. In fact—”

“God, Mom, no. I don’t want to know,” Austen cried, screwing his face up in disgust.

“All you need to know is that we love you and you were wanted. Do not listen to your brother and sister, well they were once we signed your adoption papers from the ugly kid orphanage.”

That was it, we all burst out laughing at Mom’s joke, even Austen cracked a smile. Then suddenly Mom cried out as Rett, and Tia toddled past us as fast as their little legs would allow.

“Stop! Be careful of the—”

It was too late, Tia tripped over the kid’s bucket that had been abandoned in the middle of the lawn and went flying flat on her face.

“Shit!” I cried and before she’d even let go of the huge scream that she was building up to, I picked her up and cradled her against my chest. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” I soothed as I walked back to my seat. “Daddy’s got you.”

“Oh my,” Mom said, her voice cracking. “I think I’m going to cry.”

As Tia threw her little arms around my neck, clung on for dear life and sobbed the word daddy, I was pretty sure I was going to cry too.

It was official, I hated Mrs. Baker. My boss was a total bitch. Somehow, she knew that I didn’t get the old bank and she actually laughed in my face. Actually, laughed in my face and said, ‘tough cookie sweetheart’.

Like I said total bitch.

“Nancy.”

Talking of the total bitch. “Yes, Mrs. Baker.”

“I need you to take the trash out,” she snapped.

“Is Davey not working today?” Davey Jacobs was our janitor and a nicer man you couldn’t wish to meet. He was almost sixty-five and probably should retire seeing as he had arthritic knees, but he came into work every day with a smile and a whistle. “He’s not ill, is he?”

“He’s around.” She crossed her arms over her chest and blinked twice, daring me to question her.

I was just about sick of her behavior since she’d found out I’d offered to be a witness in the Ranger custody trial. She’d been hateful before that but was even worse now.

“I’ll go and find Davey,” I said and gave her a smile.

“The time it takes you to find him you could have taken it out yourself.”

I nodded. “I could, but with respect Mrs. Baker I’m not paid to take out the trash.” Just looking at her made my blood heat up. She was a totally odious woman, and I had no idea why I’d ever agreed to work for her. The pay wasn’t great, but it was close to home without any travel expenses. God, I was so disappointed that I hadn’t got the bank because I’d been so excited for it. It felt pretty desolate that it was no longer an option.

“Don’t forget, young lady, I’m the one who pays you. That means if I ask you to take the trash out then you take the trash out.” Her thin lips, with her usual coral lip color, twitched but the smile didn’t appear. I wasn’t even sure her mouth muscles knew what a smile was.

“But why do you want me to take it out?” This worm was turning. “We have a janitor. I’m not paid to do it.”

“I just do.”

At that moment Melody Simpkin a little four-year-old who loved to dress in soccer kit every day, came running over squealing.

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