Page 33 of The B!tch List

Then before I had a chance to knee him in the balls, he pulled me into him and planted his lips on mine. I can’t say it wasn’t nice because it was. They were soft and familiar, and I might have sighed a little and thrust my hips towards his penis.

“Well, well, well.”

I pulled out of Minnesota’s arms and twirled on the spot. Shaw was standing there looking like he might snap someone’s neck. The way he was staring at the man holding my hand I guessed it was Minnesota’s neck that was in danger.

“This is nothing at all like you think,” I said, pointing between me and Minnesota.

“None of my business,” he replied. “Nice to see you back, Minnesota.”

“Shaw.”

“Seriously,” I cried taking a step away. “You honestly think that I’d go back to him?”

Shaw shrugged. “Like I said, none of my business. Y’all have a good night.”

He then turned and left, and I felt like I wanted to run after him and pull him back and beg him to believe me. But then the total moron turned around and shouted.

“Oh, and Minnesota, she’s kinda taken a fancy to ass play since you’ve been gone.”

Nancy’s Bitch List for Shaw

Maximus Douchimus

Captain Shitsmear

Shit Talking Cock Womble

Dildohead

Dipshit Cockhead

Scrote Noggin

Last night had been the final of Dayton Valley Idol and both Nancy and I had smashed it again. The person eliminated had been Mrs. Callahan. She’d been singing‘It’s Raining Men’while wearing a purple leotard and pink tights. She sounded pretty good to be fair to her but Mr. Callahan taking his life in his hands buzzed her. The whole of the room fell silent except for Mrs. Callahan who stomped around the stage yelling that he wouldn’t have buzzed had she let him wear the strap-on. At least that was what we all thought she said, but Carter just about managed to get his hand slapped over her mouth by that point.

That meant that tonight was the big vote, and I was desperate to beat Nancy. Why? Because I was a competitive tool, but also because I was pissed at her. Something deep inside my stupid head had got me following her home on the semi-final night. When I’d watched her make her way home, I felt bad for her. She’d done an amazing performance but had no one to celebrate with and was going home alone. I knew our circle of friends supported her, but they hadn’t shown. Jennifer and Alaska were getting close to the birth of their baby so had stayed home and Ellie and Hunter were taking advantage of Carter directing the show and getting a head start on him and Bronte making a baby. My mom and dad were there cheering me on, as were our extended family of Jefferson, Kitty, Henry, Melinda, Jim and Darcy, but Nancy had no one. That was the main reason why I’d followed her, because I wanted her to have someone to get excited with. Then I’d found her with him, the dickweed who had dumped her and gone and got engaged to someone else while on his travels. That was why last night I’d barely even looked her in the eye, never mind spoken to her. I was simply pissed.

“Big night tonight, Shaw.” Tate slapped me on the back as he joined me at my desk. “Feeling confident?”

I shrugged. I was, but I didn’t want to come across as too big a dick. “Nancy is pretty good and the boys’ soccer team seem to quite like her.”

Tate let out a loud, deep laugh which reverberated around the office. “Well, my mom told me that there were a few high school girls who loved your Bruno Mars last night.”

I’d sung‘When I Was Your Man’and had to admit I had given the group of seventeen and eighteen-year-old girls who were sitting on the front row, all my eye contact.

“What’s the prize anyway?” Tate asked.

“Apart from bragging rights, a two-hundred-dollar voucher that can be spent in any of the stores in town. However, I for one will be spending all of my winnings at Stars & Stripes.”

“I like your confidence.” Tate sighed. “On other news, I’ve heard from the DNA center.”

My heart started to thump wildly. Whatever Tate told me now could shape my life in a way that I hadn’t expected. I wanted to be a dad at some point, but not sure now was the right time. I was a softie for kids though and seeing that helpless little girl had got me thinking. It had me considering how I could fit my life around her and make plans for both of us. Then it struck me that she might not be mine and I had to push all those thoughts and feelings away. I had to harden my heart until I knew the truth. It was still a scary place to be though.

He placed a hand on my shoulder. “No, don’t panic. They contacted me because of the delay.”

“Okay. What about it?” They’d told us it would only take seventy-two hours at most and that had been four days ago.

“They’ve had to evacuate their building for the last three days because of some problem with the A/C. They called me as they couldn’t reach you and I was listed on your contact sheet.”

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