Page 15 of The B!tch List

“He’s not coming home to get married then?” I asked, gently pulling my hand from Ellie’s.

She shook her head. “Probably not at all, except for holidays maybe. He’s got himself a job at a tech company just outside of London and has moved into her apartment. Actually, he moved in after their second date.”

“Could it be just for the Green Card?” Bronte asked, although not sounding convinced.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t think he’d do that. If he did then he’s not the sort of person I’d want to be with anyway.”

We were all silent for a few minutes, until Ellie shifted on her chair and let out a little groan.

“What’s wrong?” Bronte asked. “Please don’t tell me you’ve shaved your bush again. What did I tell you about razor burn? It’s ugly and as a newly married woman you do not want your hoo-hah looking like the chin of a thirteen-year-old boy who has used his dad’s razor after his mom shaved her legs with it.”

“No, I haven’t,” Ellie protested. “You told me you break our life-long friendship if I ever shaved it again.”

“So why are you squirming around on that chair?” Bronte’s face broke into a grin. “Please tell me Hunter has gone all Christian Grey and slipped some of those balls up there and he’s working them from over at the ranch.”

“No, the damn opposite if you must know.” Ellie pouted. “I feel horny and it’s all because he wouldn’t have sex with me this morning.”

“Oh so the honeymoon period is finally over,” Bronte replied and threw her hands into the air. “Thank the Lord. Boy were Carter and I sick of you two disappearing on a night out so you could go have wild sex somewhere.”

“You think that’s it?” I asked, all innocence.

“What? No way,” Ellie blasted back. “His penis is more tired than usual is all. He’s tired and his penis is tired.”

“Well, I guess all that banging had to take its toll at some point,” Bronte retorted with a hint of a gloating smile. “You’d think that hammer would have nailed it by now.”

“I may regret this,” I sighed. “But why is his penis more tired than usual?”

Ellie screwed her eyes up and placed both hands onto the table. “We agreed we wouldn’t say anything, but you know I can’t keep a secret. Ugh, why’d you have to ask me that?”

“You don’t have to tell us,” Bronte replied dismissively. “It’s not like we don’t all know how often you bang each other’s brains out.”

I nodded in agreement. Only a month ago I’d caught sight of Hunter’s bare ass pumping away behind the gardening and horticulture books at the library. I was shocked. I mean who knew Hunter and Ellie were into gardening and horticulture?

Despite what she’d said, Ellie was evidently desperate to impart her news. She was practically bouncing in her seat, staring between me and Bronte with bright eyes.

“Oh go on,” Bronte groaned and dropped down into a chair opposite to us. “Spill it.”

“We’re trying for a baby and have been for three weeks now.”

Bronte gasped. “You never said.”

“I’m saying it now,” Ellie replied. “So, are you excited for us, and for Rett to have cousin?”

“I guess, but it’s kind of spoiled our surprise.” Bronte pouted as she looked at Ellie with narrowed eyes.

“No way. Don’t you dare tell me you’re pregnant.” Ellie’s eyes widened. “You’ve already got the eldest grandchild; you could at least let me have the second one.”

“I’m not pregnant.” Bronte ran a hand down her white tunic and over her stomach. “Do I look pregnant?” She looked pointedly at me.

“No,” I replied shaking my head vigorously.

“Phew, thank goodness.”

“If you’re not pregnant then what’s your surprise?” Ellie asked.

Bronte flicked her long braid over her shoulder. “If you must know, Carter and I are trying for another baby too. Have been for two weeks.”

“Just great,” Ellie sighed. “You’re bound to get pregnant first and more than likely have a girl. Just damn well perfect.”