Page 31 of The B!tch List

“No,” I snorted back. “Because usually her mouth is full of my dick.”

Nancy rolled her eyes. “You’re so gross.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Shaw, are you ever serious about anything?”

“I can be,” I replied with a shrug. “And I will be when I’m winning the old bank for you.”

“I told you, I’m not sure it’s a good idea.” She sighed and took a swig of her drink and a tiny droplet escaped. It slowly dripped down her chin and I held my breath waiting for it to drop onto her boobs. She caught it with the back of her hand and wiped it away.

“Fucker,” I muttered under my breath.

“Which means,” Nancy continued, clearly not having noticed that I’d been waiting for some soft porn boob action. “That I think I should ask someone else to represent me.”

I wasn’t sure why the words came out of my mouth. Maybe it was the boob thing, or maybe it was my pride because I wanted to prove to Nancy that I could win the bank for her, who knew, but I said it.

“I’ll make you a promise,” I said, taking hold of her hand. “That I will cut all ties with Ruthie until you have the keys for the bank in your hand.”

Nancy sat back on her stool and raised her eyebrows. “Let me get this straight. You’ll forgo sexy time just so that I’ll use you to broker my real estate deal.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yep. I’ll forgo sexy times so that you’ll use me to broker your real estate deal.” The words were ground out and kind of made the back of my throat itch, but if that was what it took, then so be it.

Nancy looked surprised. Shocked. Gob smacked as an English college friend of mine would say.

“You’re joking, right?”

I shook my head. “Serious as a heart attack, baby.”

She blinked three times, downed the rest of her vodka, slammed her glass on the table and held out her hand.

“Well, I guess we should shake on it then.”

We shook and I fleetingly thought about how soft her hands were.

“We have a deal then?”

Nancy nodded. “We have a deal.” She stood up. “I’ll get the next round and then we’ll discuss what you’re going to do about the kid which may be ninety-five percent yours.”

I have to admit I watched her ass as she walked away, but I still hated her.

The crowd cheered and I took a bow. My rendition of Mae Muller’s ‘Dependent’had gone down well. Maybe not quite as well as Shaw’s version of Elvis’‘A Little Less Conversation’. The douche had a standing ovation from the whole audience. I even saw some of the high school girls fanning themselves and jumping up and down on the spot squealing when he did a little Elvis leg shake.

“Well done, Nancy. That was amazing,” Garner said as he waved me off. “Now, can we please welcome Mrs. Callahan to the stage.”

As I walked into the wings, Mrs. Callahan breezed past me the feathers from her headdress wafting up my nose and causing me to sneeze.

“Pretty good out there,” Carter said giving me a huge grin. “I think my brother-in-law may have some competition.”

“I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “I think he may have the high school girls’ vote.” The town had the final vote. There would be a ballot box in the library and then on Monday evening the winner would be announced on the stage.

“Did you not see the high school soccer team and how they were all gaping at you?” Carter winked. “I think it’s going to be a tight result.”

We both then swung around as Mrs. Callahan started to sing, ‘I Am What I Am’as she pranced around the stage cracking a whip.

“I never agreed to that,” Carter gasped. “This is a family show.”

“Well, Mr. Callahan seems to be enjoying it.” I pointed to where Mr. Callahan was up on his feet waving his arms in the air and shouting, ‘Way to go Snookums’ as he slapped his own ass. I shuddered and looked at Carter. He was drawing his finger across his throat at Skeeter Mackenzie who was in charge of playing the music. Definitely my time to leave.

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