“All the staff wear the same uniform, the menus are the same, and every reception has to be in the corporate colours of purple and orange, and it works,” Amy replied with a shrug.
We sat in silence for a couple of minutes and I felt sure that Amy was trying hard to think of something to say, just as I was. That in itself was like a punch to the gut; we’d never struggled to have conversation. It was one of the reasons we were successful as a couple – we were best friends who chatted constantly.
“Where are you at the moment?”
I blew out a quiet sigh of relief that Amy had broken the silence. “Twenty miles out of town, working for Darren Baker, you remember him?”
Furrowing her brow in thought, Amy shook her head. “No, the name doesn’t ring a bell.”
“He made a comeback when we were about eighteen. He was the guy that wore red leather trousers all the time, sang that song that was on the advert for men’s aftershave.”
She thought some more, eventually smiling. “Oh yes, I know. Your dad took your mum to see him. He was pretty old then, wasn’t he a big star in the eighties?”
“That’s him. Well he and his very young wife are having their garden totally overhauled. It was just grass and he wanted some plants and terracing put in.”
“Well, famous footballers and now popstars, you’re really getting a name for yourself.” Amy’s eyes were soft as she gave me a genuine smile. “I’m really pleased for you.”
“We’ve just finished working for an ex-professional rugby player, too. He was the Ireland Captain for years and has just retired.”
“Wow, you won’t want to speak to little old me soon,” she giggled.
I drew in a breath, the words ‘I’ll always want to be in your life’, on the tip of my tongue. I didn’t say them though, I just smiled and took another swig of my water.
We continued to chat, staying on neutral ground of work, the weather, and Netflix recommendations. When my mobile buzzed, I picked it up from the table, where I’d put it with my Bluetooth headphones and stared down at the screen. It was a text from Mia and suddenly my skin felt cold and my heart a little traitorous.
Mia:Need to go home. Leah has locked herself out. Will leave your lunch in the fridge. Call u later xx
I felt like such a shit. I knew she’d made us lunch, yet instead of rushing back as I should have done, I’d chosen to sit and talk about some fucking TV series about a haunted house, with my ex of all people.
“I have to go,” I said, standing up quickly and almost toppling my chair over. “Great seeing you, Amy.”
Amy looked up at me with a frown, her lips parting and the tip of her tongue flicking out to lick her top lip. Watching her, I almost sat myself back down, but knew it would be the wrong thing to do. Mia didn’t deserve to be treated as though she didn’t mean anything to me - she did. She was important to me and I loved her. Problem was I was fucking obsessed with Amy, but there was no going back, we’d moved on.
“Oh, okay,” she said, shifting in her seat. “I’ll, um, see you around maybe.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
I gave her a quick smile, and picking up my headphones, exited the café and jogged back home, sending a quick text to my girlfriend asking her not to leave until I got home. The need to see her laying heavy in my chest.