Amy
aged 28
I’d been working on Tino and Sophie’s house for almost two weeks and had barely seen Elijah. The three guys that worked for him were constantly in and out of the kitchen, making cups of tea or warming up pies and sausage rolls for their lunch in the microwave, but Elijah never did. I’d caught sight of him a couple of times working in the garden, but mostly he’d stayed away.
“So, Claudia,” Bob, one of Elijah’s men said eyeing her up and down. “What do you do in your spare time?”
Claudia took a sip of her coffee and made a strange sound from the back of her throat. I wasn’t sure, but I think she was growling.
Bob’s sandy coloured eyebrows arched. “Well?”
Claudia put her mug down slowly and gave him a tight smile. “Any reason you ask?”
“I’d love to take you out, if you’re not busy.”
I snorted and dropped my gaze to the fabric swatches on the table.
“I’m busy most weekends,” Claudia replied.
“Oh, come on, you can’t be busy every single weekend. Surely you have some spare time.”
Claudia breathed deeply and I almost felt sorry for Bob. It was her, ‘I’m about to be a bitch’ sigh.
“Oh dear,” I muttered.
Bob looked at me and then back to Claudia.
“Come on Bob,” Marty, one of Elijah’s other men said. “Leave Claudia alone, there’s no way she’ll want to go out with you and your big, fat, hairy arse.”
“I don’t have a hairy arse.” He looked at Claudia. “I really don’t love. So, do you have some free time?”
I heard the breath again and looked up, unable to stop myself from watching the car crash that was about to happen.
“Actually,” Claudia said, helping herself to more coffee from the pot. “I tend to have quite a lot of spare time at the weekend.”
“So, you will come out with me then?”
Claudia gave him a smile and shook her head. “No Bob, I won’t.”
“Oh,” he said taking a step back, obviously a little shocked at her forthright manner. “Okay.”
“You see, Bob, any spare time I do have, I spend in bed with my girlfriend. You know, having sex, pleasuring each other. We might even eat some food off each other’s naked bodies, or eat something else, if you get my drift.”
Marty let out a short laugh and then slapped a hand over his mouth, turning to look at Bob who was staring at Claudia with his mouth wide open.
“You see, Bob,” Claudia continued “I’m gay and really not interested in men at all. I should also point out that if I was, it’s still unlikely that I’d go out with you.”
“You wouldn’t?” Bob asked, frowning.
Claudia shook her head. “Nope. Marty is right, you do have a hairy arse.”
Without another word she lifted her mug, continued to drink her coffee and sort through some invoices for light fittings.
I looked at Bob who was staring at her totally nonplussed, while Marty quietly laughed with his shoulders shaking.
“Bob I-,”
Before I had time to say anything else the back door opened and Elijah’s tall frame filled the doorway.