Page 12 of Elijah
Elijah
aged 28
As I jogged along the canal tow path my phone rang through my earphones, and if it hadn’t been the Match of the Day theme tune, I wouldn’t have answered, but the music told me it was either Lucas, Alex, or my brother Sam calling.
“Yeah,” I breathed out.
“Hey Eli, it’s me.”
“Hey Lucas, what’s up?”
“You jogging, or have I caught you mid performance?” his low laugh echoed down the line.
“Jogging you dickhead. Do you really think I’d answer the phone in the middle of shagging?”
“Well, considering who you could be shagging.”
He laughed again, and I almost ended the call, I was getting pissed off with his constant jibe that Mia, my girlfriend, was boring. Okay, so she was an accountant, but she shouldn’t have been judged for it.
“If you’ve got nothing nice to say, fuck off,” I replied.
“Sorry,” Lucas said, sounding anything but. “I won’t take the piss out of your girlfriend again.”
“Right, so what do you want?” I asked, jogging down steps to take me back onto the road.
“Wondered if you’d heard who’s back in town.”
“Yep,” I said, altering my stride to dodge a pile of vomit. “Actually, I saw her.”
“Fuck off. When?”
“Yesterday. We’re working on the same job.”
Quickly looking both ways, I jogged across the road waiting for Lucas’ response.
“What, nothing to say on the matter?” I asked, as I continued the last few hundred yards to my house.
“Fucking hell,” he groaned. “And how was it?”
“How do you think?” I took my key from the pocket of my shorts and slipped it into the door, letting myself in.
“And how does she look?” Lucas asked.
I just knew he was wiggling his eyebrows in that dirty fucker way he always did when discussing my ex-wife. Lucas had a penchant for tits, and well…Amy had great tits.
“Just like she always did, and please stop those damn thoughts. I’ve told you before it’s disrespectful.” Lucas muttered a petulant sorry. “This is why you don’t have a woman,” I stated. “You can’t keep telling them they’re boring or that they’ve got great tits, it doesn’t go down well.”
“I’ve never told Mia that she’s boring,” he protested.
“I think faking a yawn when she starts talking kind of gives it away.” I walked into my kitchen and pulled open the fridge door, pulling out a bottle of water.
“I did that once and I was pissed. As for Amy, I told her she had nice tits once and I was pissed.”
“I think we have a pattern forming here, Lucas,” I said, before swigging back a mouthful of water.
“I’m just pointing out you make me sound like an unrefined pervert, and I’m really not,” he replied, almost pleading. “It’s alcohol, it changes me.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, that is the summing up for the prosecution.” I laughed quietly and made my way toward the stairs. “So, is there anything else you want, because I really need to get a shower?”
