Page 76 of Elijah
Elijah
aged 28
Mia had been with her mum for almost two weeks, and I was miserable. We spoke on the phone every day, and I missed her – well I had at first, but for the last week I’d realised that I was enjoying having my time to myself, and not having to think about whether I should really leave it three days before I saw her, or whether I was in the mood to invite her over, knowing she’d want to stay. Plus, although she’d only been living in my house for two days before she left for her mum’s, I was glad to get my space back again. There were no more knickers strewn over the radiators, the kitchen and bathroom were clean and I didn’t feel guilty about going running for an hour every night. Not that Mia had ever said anything, but the two nights she’d been in the house, I’d seen the disappointment that she’d tried to hide with a smile, when I said I was going out for an hour or so.
It also meant I didn’t feel guilty about Sam, Lucas, and Alex coming around to watch the Boxing on the TV, and get a takeaway curry. Mia didn’t really like boxing, she thought it a bit too violent and curry gave her heartburn, so it was another guilt free evening.
And so, there was the reason for my misery – I wanted to go back to seeing her two or three times a week, and was dreading her coming back. I realised I should have manned up and told her at the time, me asking her to move in hadn’t actually been that. It had been me being a dick to my dick of a brother and poor Mia had gotten the wrong end of the stick.
“When’s Mia back?” Alex asked, pouring himself a beer.
“No idea,” I sighed. “Her mum’s hip is broken, so unless they employ a nurse, she’ll need to stay there until Val is back on her feet.”
“She could always come and stay here,” Lucas said, literally with his tongue in his cheek.
“Oh you’re so fucking funny,” I grumbled as I threw a can to Sam.
“I think the fact that he doesn’t actually want Mia here, kind of negates that idea,” Sam chipped in.
“Shut the fuck up, Sam. I never said that.”
I gave my brother a stare that would make most men piss their pants, but not Samuel. No, he had balls bigger than most men I knew, and he still managed to make me feel like the little brother without even trying.
“You didn’t have to,” he replied, popping his can open. “Your face says it all every time she’s mentioned.”
“I’m not having this fucking conversation with you again.” I snatched up a can for myself and opening up, swallowed down a huge gulp.
“Well I think you should. It’s your fucking life you prick. Why be saddled with someone who you don’t even love?”
Alex sucked in a breath, while Lucas groaned.
“I do love her.”
“Yeah, but not enough little brother. Not like you should do.”
“I’ve got to admit,” Alex said, flopping back onto the sofa. “You’re not the same with her as you were with you know who.”
“You can say her damn name, Al.” I ran a hand over my head and sighed. “Look where it got me, loving Amy that much – no-fucking-where, that’s where.”
“But you did-.”
“Lucas,” I snapped, stopping him mid-sentence. “Don’t even say what I think you’re going to say.”
“Luc is right,” Alex said loftily. “You got caught with your boxers down, so it was kinda your fault.”
“How many fucking times. Lauren took advantage of me.” My hand gripped the can of beer so tightly, I felt it crumple slightly, the metal digging into my palm.
“We know,” Sam sighed. “We believe you, don’t we, guys?”
Sam looked pointedly at Lucas and Alex, silently warning them.
“Of course we fucking do,” Lucas said. “He knows that and knows that I’m just pulling his chain. Don’t you Eli?”
I nodded. I did know it, but when he joked about not believing me, it pissed me off. We’d talked about it many times over the years and all three of them had supported me, Lucas had even been to see Amy’s parents, begging them to get her to talk to me, but they wouldn’t listen, only caring about how heartbroken their daughter was.
“Can we change the subject?” I asked. “I just want to have a good night, some beers, a curry and the boxing – okay?”
They all nodded or grunted as we settled back for the evening.
