Page 73 of One Week Wingman

“Not at all,” mom insists. “You need to make sure you’re on the same page, the sooner the better. You want kids, don’t you?”

“I… Sure,” I stammer, my mind blank. “Eventually.”

The same way I eventually want to try loom weaving or spend a month at a villa in Tuscany—in some distant future where I have way more time and money.

“You could have a summer wedding,” she says, with a faraway look on her face. “Or winter. Snow, white velvet. Beautiful.”

“Woah!” I blurt loudly. “Hold up. Please, mom, dial it back a little. Stefano is absolutely not going to propose anytime soon.”

He’s more likely to break up with me. Next week, according to my schedule.

But mom just smiles at me. “The man is smitten,” she says happily. “Anyone can see from the way he looks at you. And you’ve been together for months already. A man knows. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a word with Phil while you’re visiting.”

“What for?”

“To ask his permission to marry you, of course.”

I bite back a groan. This is getting way out of control! I need to do some serious backpedaling, or they’re all going to be devastated when I fake the big breakup.

“Mom,” I start, taking a deep breath. “The reason I know Stefano isn’t going to propose is… Well… The truth is, I think he’s cheating on me.”

Sorry, Sebastian.

Mom frowns. “What do you mean?”

“He’s been acting distant lately,” I fib, trying to look sad. “Being secretive around phone calls, going on these last-minute trips. It breaks my heart to think about, but… I just don’t know if the relationship is going to last.”

My mom looks at me for a long minute, then sighs. “I know what this is, you’re self-sabotaging again.”

“What? No!”

And what does she mean by ‘again’?

Mom nods. “You keep doing this. Breaking up with Jason, quitting law school… You just can’t let yourself be happy. You always have to throw it all away.”

“We’ve been over this,” I try to keep my temper in check. “And what do you mean, I broke up with Jason? We were high school sweethearts! He cheated on me with a girl at college!”

“No need to yell,” Mom says tightly.

The nail tech returns, and starts on her manicure, while I stifle a scream.Ugh!I’m so screwed.

Turns out, I invented a boyfriend that wastooperfect. They’re all going to pick his side in the breakup! I can just imagine it now: All the questions about what I did wrong, how I could let a good man get away. It won’t be, ‘poor Roxy with her broken heart,’ it’ll be, ‘such a disappointment, that Roxy, she couldn’t keep a good thing when she had it.’

So much for an easy way out of this mess.

I’m just wondering if I can talk Sebastian into acting like the boyfriend from hell—in two days flat—to make them all hate him, when mom looks up from her phone.

“I forgot, I made plans for lunch with Kiki, from my gardening club? Her daughter’s in town, too. You don’t mind if they join us?”

“Please, the more the merrier,” I say eagerly, hoping for a buffer. Or at the very least, a distraction from mom’s winter wedding plans.

I’m just hoping this lunch spot serves wine, because boy, do I need a drink.

Two drinks.And a basket of fries. It turns out, Kiki’s daughter is a corporate lawyer, what a surprise! So, Mom spends the entire lunch asking her pointed questions, about how rewarding the work is, what a fun challenge to be so stimulated. And, of course, what a steady, lucrative field it is.

By the time I reach the bottom of that basket, I’m just about ready to bail. Or flee the country. Anything to escape this non-stop barrage of ‘helpful’ suggestions.

“… And if, hypothetically speaking, Roxy wanted to go back to law school, they would still accept her this late in the game?”

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