Page 5 of The Love Dealer

“It is, but still. I don’t want no more kids no time soon. It’s hard enough working and spending time with the ones I have now.”

With a groan, Reka sat next to me. “What if I do hair at the house again? Can we have another baby then?”

Shaking my head, I sat on the edge of the bed. “No. I don’t want another baby, Reka.”

“Will you be mad if I have one with someone else?”

Gritting my teeth, I looked back at her to see if she was serious. Her expression was blank, so I couldn’t tell.

“You can do whatever the hell you want, but I won’t be raising it. Y’all would have to get the hell up outta here.”

“Zo…”

“I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you tonight, but I’m about to leave so you can think about the stupid ass shit you just said to me.”

“Zo, it was a joke.”

“Why would you joke about cheating on me and having a baby with some-damn-body else?”

With a sigh, Reka walked over to me. Normally, the sight of her naked body would make me crave her. Right now, it made me sick to my stomach.

“I’m sorry, Alonso. It was just a joke. I want another baby, though, but I can wait until you’re ready.”

“You gon’ be waiting for a while then,” was all I said before heading to the bathroom.

I wanted to tell her I didn’t want a baby with her at all, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. At this point, she was living a good life just because she was a mother to my kids, but I wanted more from a woman than that. When I first told her she could quit her job, Reka did hair out of the house to keep herself busy. The older our baby girl got, the less effort she put in—not just with maintaining her independence, but doing shit for me, too.

I loved being a provider and didn’t mind paying all the bills, but something had to fucking give, and it wasn’t going to be my seeds. The last thing I was going to do was bring another baby into this world to dish out even more money for. Everything I had went to my kids. I took pride in that, but I also wanted a woman who invested something into me, too.

“Are you still going to the party?” Reka yelled. “If not, I’m just going to go with Shiann.”

“Do that,” I replied, cutting the shower on.

Compromise—that was a boundary I would have to implement with Reka ASAP. That was the first step to getting her out of this damn spoiled phase. It was my fault for getting her this way. Back in the day, though, I felt like it was worth it. Like she was worth it. Maybe Reka hadn’t changed. Maybe she’d always been this way and I was the one who had changed. Either way, I didn’t like how things were going between us, and her requesting a baby only made shit worse.

three

Bre

Alonso Simmons:Where’s my picture? I miss you.

With a smile, I lifted my phone to take a selfie on Snapchat as I normally did. Even if I didn’t post it on social media, I always sent it to Zo. Honestly, talking to him was the highlight of my day, outside of spending it with my princess. Zo talked to me the way IwishedNick would. Zo was always complimenting me and validating me in ways that made me feel like a woman, not just a mother.

After sending him the selfie, I went to Trin’s room to check on her. She was down for the night, but I really just wanted to look at my baby. Trinity was what I was most proud of in my life. She gave me purpose and a reason to love unconditionally that I’d never experienced before. I fell in love with her the second I learned she was growing in my womb. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her—period.

By the time I made it back to my room, Alonso had sent me another message. I was surprised to hear that he’d taken the night off. Usually, he spent his days working his HVAC business and his nights at a warehouse. I admired his hustle. Zo had always been about his money. Even as the seventeen-year-old boy I’d met and fallen in love with, he always took me out and bought me things.

We met on Myspace the December before our last year of high school. We ended up talking for about two months before I had the courage to see him in person. Our first date was at the mall and to the movies. Zo couldn’t keep his eyes off me the whole time. That night, he found out he had a baby on the way, and I stayed with him. I didn’t know then what that would entail, but I quickly learned I was not built for the baby mama drama life. His daughter, Caprice, made it worth it, though.

Caprice and I shared the same birthday, and our connection was instant. From the first day I saw her, she gravitated toward me. It was just her crazy ass mama I couldn’t stand. Still, I tried to make the relationship work because I loved Zo and Caprice as if she was my own. We dated from a few months before my eighteenth birthday to a few months before my twentieth birthday. He dropped off the face of the earth and I didn’t learn why until about five years later.

I guess you could say I was his one that he gave away. I think that was why he couldn’t release me now. The guilt over the way he handled me years ago made it difficult for him to say goodbye. Honestly, I accepted his friend request because I wanted him to see what he’d lost. How fine I’d gotten and how good I was living. How great Nick was treating me. My, how things had changed over the past three years.

Alonso Jackson: Damn! You so fine, beautiful. Let me see all of you.

Bre Simmons: I look a mess.

Alonso Jackson: You could never. Send me a full body pic.

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