Page 14 of Dishonor Among Thieves
“By the gods.” Neo dropped his face into his hands and raked his fingers from the stubble on his chin to the top of his glossy hair. “I can’t… I don’t…”
“Please.” I walked to his chair and sat on the settee so our faces were nearly level. I licked my dry lower lip, pulling it into my mouth absently as I weighed my words. “I cannot go to a pub or a guild and provide a reference or demonstrate even the slightest bit of skill or training. I have nothing. No people to vouch for me. I’m a ghost out there in the Realm. It’s as though I didn’t exist all those years I was hidden away. I do have skills, though. I can run a household. And you need a caretaker. Don’t you see?”
I leaned forward, knotting my fingers together while I wished I could clasp his hands in mine and make him see. Make him understand my sincere plight.
“It was the will of the gods that I ran into you the way I did, just when you were looking for help.”
Neo’s eyes darkened and he rested his fists on his knees. “You know not what the gods will for me. It would be better if you had nothing to do with my dark destiny.” He stood to move past me, but I stopped him, unable to resist reaching out and gripping his arm with my hand.
“Lord Oderisi, what’s happened to you? Why were you in prison?” I hoped I would not push him too far with the question. If he would answer, if he did so honestly, gaining entry to his secrets might bring about the same kind of dark pact I’d had with my caretaker. But it soon became clear that Neo had no desire to bind himself to me in any way.
“My past is no business of yours,” he said, his voice deadly serious. The hairs on the back of my neck and arms stood, reacting not so much in fear, but in warning. “I do have a job. You’re correct in that. But the job is not here, Brexia. My household manages itself fine. I have neither the desire nor the means to put you to work under my roof.”
“What, then?” I demanded. “What am I to do?”
Mine were not his problems to sort, I understood that. I’d come all this way, stolen a horse, and traveled far beyond familiar lands in the hope of some opportunity… I’d been such a fool. Fear ignited in my chest. If he turned me away, I might not just be hopeless, but truly defeated. The plan I’d concocted began to burn up in my mind.
“Please understand,” I said, swallowing back my shame. “I came here for the job. And I cannot leave. I will work hard, dutifully serving—”
“Stop! I know not what will become of you.” He stared into the fire, his face revealing not even the slightest trace of emotion. “But I cannot help. The work I have was intended for someone I trust. Someone I’ve known a long time. It’s far too dangerous for a young woman. I cannot be responsible for what might happen.”
“Are you willing, then, to take responsibility for what happens if you turn me out?” My fingers tightened on his arm, and he looked down at the contact. I hastily withdrew. “I am stronger than I look. Braver than probably anyone you’ve known.”
He barked a laugh, but I held fast to my plea.
“There are things I have seen, things I know, that cause me to fear nothing in this Realm. Nothing the gods could send can hurt me more than the loss of the only person I’ve loved. The loss of the only family I’ve known. Not just once, but twice.”
He flinched, and I remembered what the farrier had told me about his mother losing not one but two loves. Maybe he and I were more alike that he cared to see. Not that I would point that out. I felt certain nothing I could say at this point would recommend me to him. Nothing would change his mind and heart now. If he were unmoved by my story, my vow, and my pleas… Nonetheless, I would not be able to sleep if I did not ask one last time.
“I can do the job. Please. Reconsider. Let me try. If I’m unsuccessful, I’ll understand if you dismiss me. But until you give me a—”
“No!” he roared, turning away from me and striding toward the door. He yanked it open, his molten eyes hard, his lips pressed thin with fury. “Eat the meal my butler has prepared. Rest the night in safety. No one will disturb you here. But in the morning, take your leave. There is no work for you here. Nothing you say or do will change my mind on the matter.”
He left the room, closing the door loudly behind him. I sat in stunned silence, the crackling of the fire doing little to ease the chill in my heart. For so long, I’d carried the secrets of others. The weight of duty, of responsibility, was truly now gone. Had vanished along with my sister. Perhaps I was a fool to think I could land a position that would bring me quick coin, access to goods, and a way to go back to Byrlad with enough power to demand answers. To demand the foundling home reveal what had truly happened to my sister.
With every passing day, she might be in danger, sick, alone. I had been powerless to stop her disappearance. And despite my best efforts, I might remain powerless to fix it.
My rumbling stomach reminded me that while I had a weary heart, my body wouldn’t stop functioning. A lack of food might weaken my mind, drive me to make mistakes or choices that I would regret when the soundness of my circumstances improved. I reached for an apple and instinctively slipped into it my purse. I filled my traveling sack with all the food it would hold, and then I opened the wine and filled a mug.
I walked to the corner and found the water Neo had poured me to drink. Not wishing to waste good water, I poured a bit of it onto one of the clean rags on the butler’s cart and wiped my hands clean of the grime of the horse and the road.
Tomorrow would come before long, and if I were cast aside again, at least I’d leave with a full belly and full purse for my trouble. Then I ate, the food at first sour in my mouth. But quickly I set aside my emotions and focused on the fact that this was the most healthy, delicious meal I’d had in as long as I could remember. I devoured everything I hadn’t stuffed into my pouch—the meat, the cheese, the bread. All of it.
Only when I’d finished two mugs of wine did I give in to grief. I rested my head on the plush pillows, images from my memory preventing sleep. My sister’s face, my old room. Tears fought hopeful dreams, but I must eventually have dozed off. I had cried myself out of tears when the door opened and the butler Antonia crept into the room. I heard her soft steps, but I did not dare move to thank her or even to speak. She’d insisted that Neonotsend me away, but I was fearful. Uncertain.
People’s minds and hearts changed so suddenly, with so little provocation. I would not do anything to provoke a change in the woman who had so far treated me so kindly. I squeezed my eyes shut and stayed motionless on the settee. Just the thought of what these people must think of me brought another wave of tears upon me. But I held them back as best I could.
The simple reality was that I’d failed. I had come to Omrora for work and to quickly amass what I needed to go home and find Gini. But now, I had no job. There was nothing in this room but furniture and fire. Nothing to take. Nothing to sell. Nothing but an empty butler’s cart and a few morsels of food.
The soft pillow beneath my cheek would be pulled away come morning. That grim reality was very, very difficult to face. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks as I felt a hand on my brow.
“You’ll find some fresh water for you if you wake in the night, dear one,” Antonia said. Whether she knew that I was awake or not, I felt she did not mean to disturb me. She stroked my hair back from my forehead and covered me with an incredibly soft blanket. Her hand lingered on my head, and she whispered something I couldn’t understand. A blessing, I hoped. A curse, I feared, until she said slightly louder, “Sleep well, dear girl. You are safe here. You can rest without fear.”
She hobbled away from me, checked the fire, and added a few small twigs to the blaze. Then she placed a heavy iron grate in front of the flames to prevent sparks or embers from escaping and setting fire to the rugs or furniture in the night. Finally, she hobbled from the room, closing the door behind her.
I heard voices in the hall but kept my eyes closed, not wishing to engage in further conversation, no matter who was outside the door.
“She’s asleep, Rain. Let her rest. She looks exhausted. We’ll make introductions and set her up in a room tomorrow.” Antonia’s voice carried through the quiet room.
