Page 78 of The Confidant
So before I could rethink the impulse, I grabbed my laptop and opened it to the junk email account that I’d set up freshman year.
As I typed out my email toThe Confidant, I just prayed that she would have some insights for how I could get out of this mess I was currently in.
26
HUNTER
I wokeup early on Monday, my body still used to getting up by five-thirty after years of early morning Bible class. I tried falling back asleep, since I actually hadn’t slept that great last night. But after fifteen minutes passed and I only became more and more alert, I figured I might as well grab an early breakfast and sort through some of the emailsThe Confidanthad sitting in his inbox.
I got dressed in the dark so I wouldn’t bother Asher who was still asleep. With my backpack over my shoulder and my phone in my hand, I headed down to the great hall to see what the school’s cooks had whipped up for us today.
I was the first person in the great hall for breakfast—apparently, no one else was hungry this early—so I had the first pick of ingredients to add to my bowl from the oatmeal bar. A huge scoop of steel-cut oats, topped it with some blueberries, almonds, and a teaspoon of mini-chocolate chips to make it interesting and sweet. Then I filled a mug with some of the filter coffee they had at the coffee-and-tea station and went to the table I usually sat at with my friends.
I started sortingThe Confidant’s emails into my Yes, Maybe, and No folders and gave a star to a few of my favorites. I didn’t know why I even had the “No” folder. I should probably just delete the emails I sent there right then, instead of saving them for my weekly purge. But I kept the folder as a safety net anyway, just in case I changed my mind later.
I found a few emails that I thought would be good for my next installment. There was one asking for advice on how to decide which college to attend the next year—college-decision day was coming up fast.
Another asked how to set a boundary with a friend who continually pressured this reader to allow them to copy their homework week after week.
And then there was another that I’d starred when I first sat down because it struck so close to home for me.
I opened the email again and took a bite of my oatmeal as I read.
Dear Confidant,
My friend and I had a huge fight recently. Like, an epically bad fight. We’ve been best friends for years and have never had a disagreement like this before. But recently, things shifted. He’s decided to take a different path with his life, and we aren’t able to see eye to eye on some really important things.
I don’t know how to fix it. I’m also really worried about him and what might happen if he doesn’t get his life back on the right track.
Any advice on how to stay friends even when you have big differences?
-I Just Want My Best Friend Back
This had to be Scarlett, right?Like, who else could it be?
Sure,The Confidantreceived emails from people all over the United States now, so it was possible that it was someone else. But…it had to be her. Especially since it came from an email address that Scarlett would totally pick: [email protected].
Scarlett was all about using her goals as passwords and other things like that.
I thought about responding to the email right away, because if it was Scarlett, I also wanted to figure out how to be friends again. But the great hall was just beginning to populate, and since I’d rather not have anyone looking over my shoulder and figuring out my secret identity, I decided to head out to the library with the hopes that I could find a quiet corner.
I had just turned the corner of the hall that would lead me to the library when I found myself suddenly walking straight toward Scarlett. I looked at the time on my watch, and just like I expected, it was seven o’ five and she must have just finished her early morning Bible class.
As we stepped closer toward each other, my heart beat faster. Even though I knew nothing would ever happen between us now, I couldn’t get over how beautiful she was. Her auburn hair was pulled back into a high ponytail—such a simple look on most girls. But on Scarlett, it got my heart pumping every time because it showed off her long neck. And as my gaze landed on the simple gold chain with a tiny star charm, I was instantly taken back to the first time she’d let me kiss her neck.
We’d gone to a party at Mack’s house the Friday before spring break, and instead of heading straight back to the school, we’d ended up pulling over to the side of the road and kissing in my car for three hours.
I could still feel the softness of her skin on my lips. Remember the way she’d smelled. The way she’d sighed and let her head fall back as I’d kissed my way along her jaw and down her neck.
It had all been so new and exhilarating, and even though I’d always thought it would be easy to keep my oath of chastity, that was the first night I’d realized it was actually possible to get into a headspace where you wouldn’t want to stop.
I’d felt so guilty about our kissing session the next Sunday when Scarlett’s dad gave a special sermon to the youth and spoke about the need to stay watchful that our passions didn’t get the better of us and lead us down the slippery slope to breaking our covenants with God. All I could think of the whole time he was talking was that if he knew what I’d just been doing with his daughter two nights earlier, he’d probably never let me within twenty feet of her again.
Scarlett had apparently felt guilty enough about it, too, because as soon as we left the youth meeting that night, she’d pulled me into the back of the church courtyard so we could come up with a plan that would keep us in check. And that was when we came up with the “three-kisses rule.”
The three-kisses rule being our agreement that we would only kiss each other three times each night so we wouldn’t be tempted to take things too far again.
Our three-kisses rule only lasted two days though. By day three, we were desperate and clever enough to find a workaround our own rule—deciding that each kiss only counted as a separate kiss if our lips separated.
