Page 76 of The Confidant
It also made things confusing because the way Elder Radley talked about apostates and how their countenances became dark and loathsome without the gospel didn’t exactly fit, either—Hunter still looked and acted the same as he had before.
He was still a good person.
I mean, he gave his seat up for an old woman on the subway just because that was who he was. He did good things like that.
And now that I knew he hadn’t even believed in the church at that point in time, I also knew he’d simply done that out of the goodness of his heart. Not to get extra brownie points from the angels watching our every move from heaven.
“Is something wrong?” Xander asked, his voice startling me from behind.
“I just needed some fresh air,” I said, not sure I wanted to talk about it.
“Are you upset about Elder Radley’s talk?” He stepped in front of my bench, inspecting my face with his piercing blue eyes.
“Kind of.”
He took the seat next to me. With a sigh, he said, “Elder Radley does come off really strong sometimes.”
“He did today, at least,” I said. Which seemed to be a popular quality in church leaders since my dad came off strong a lot of times, too.
“Are you upset because of your friend Hunter?” Xander asked in a gentle voice.
“Yes…” I furrowed my brow and looked at him. “How did you know?”
“Your dad mentioned something to me about his family leaving.” Xander swept his gaze over the courtyard before adding, “I guess it caused quite the stir among the members here.”
“It did.”
A lot of rumors too,I thought as I remembered the story Leandra had told me about Hunter’s dad getting addicted to porn and cheating on his mom.
“And I’m sure it hurts a little, doesn’t it?” Xander rubbed the back of his neck. “To have your friend reject something that is so important to you.”
I nodded, feeling the pain of the last few weeks well up in the form of tears.
Don’t cry,I tried to tell myself.You made it through that whole stupid sermon, you don’t need to tear up now that Xander is asking you about it.
I must not have been very good at hiding my emotions though, because Xander wiped at a tear just trickling out the corner of my eye. Leaning close, he said, “I know how hard it is to go through something like that.”
“Y-you do?” I asked, frowning.
He nodded. “I had a good friend leave The Fold when we got to college.” He sat back against the back of the bench. “It was rough seeing someone I cared about—someone who had been so strong—to just toss his beliefs out the window.”
“Were you able to remain friends?” I asked, leaning back beside him.
“No.” Xander shook his head and draped his arm behind me on the bench. “He started partying and just living a really wild lifestyle, so I had to distance myself. It was really sad, actually. He became an addict and really went spiraling after that.”
“That’s too bad,” I said, not really knowing what else to say.
“It is.” Xander nodded. “Sadly, that kind of thing happens all the time when people leave the church. Which is most likely why Elder Radley was so aggressive in his talk today.”
I hadn’t really known anyone who stopped coming to church besides my mom and Hunter’s older brother Sebastian before this month. And they’d been able to avoid too much spiraling.
But were they just the exception to the rule?
Was Hunter only okay right now because it was just the beginning and we were still in high school?
I really hoped he wouldn’t go wild like Xander’s friend and get involved in drugs and alcohol or do something reckless like sleeping around.
Which made me realize that I had no idea if he even planned to keep his oath of chastity anymore now that he didn’t believe everything else.
