Page 27 of The Confidant
Talk to him and try to feel things out. Don’t assume that just because he had feelings for you in the past that they still linger. But if the communication is good and he seems to be on friendly terms without hard feelings, then I suggest just having a conversation where you explain where you were and ask him out. Putting yourself out there is scary, but it’s the quickest way to find out where you stand.
Wishing you the best,
The Confidant
I chuckled to myself as I wrote that last part because putting yourself out there after rejection wasmucheasier said than done.
But luckily for me, I was simply the one handing out advice and not the person who had to actually put himself out there each time.
* * *
I foundScarlett in the common room when I got back to the school after sending my column to my brother Bash to proofread.
“Hey,” she said, eyeing my backpack and seeming to note that I was just getting back from somewhere.
“Hi,” I said, feeling the tension tighten in my body because I knew she was wondering in what way I’d broken the Sabbath this morning. “How has your morning been? Do anything fun?”
It wasn’t the best question to ask, since I knew exactly what she’d been doing the past two hours. But I wanted to at least pretend like things were normal between us and we didn’t have several huge elephants standing in the room with us.
“Just the usual,” she said with a shrug. “Church. Talk to my dad. Regular Sunday morning stuff.”
Regular Sunday morning stuff for her, anyway.
She looked like she wanted to say more—to possibly ask where I’d been and why I’d missed church once again. But after a few seconds, she just pressed her lips together and left it alone.
I didn’t offer an explanation of why I’d skipped, either.
I knew I needed to tell her eventually where I stood. But I just didn’t want to—once it was out, I couldn’t take it back. And if I said something in the wrong way, I couldn’t stop her from writing me off for good.
Sure, it sucked having her think that I wasn’t showing up at her room on Sunday mornings because I was lost or being lazy. But once I told her I wasn’t planning to ever come back, it would change things between us. Make her see me differently.
I’d go from being lazy and lost to being dangerous and fully in Satan’s power—in the way my parents and her dad now saw me.
And I just didn’t want to see that hint of sadness in her eyes every time she looked at me quite yet.
“Did you eat lunch?” I asked, deciding to bring up a less polarizing subject.
Good food always made people happy.
“I was just headed there,” she said. “Want to join me?”
“Yes,” I said. “Let me just put my backpack in my room, and I’ll be right back.”
I dashed up the stairs that led to the boys’ dorms, dropped my backpack inside my door, and then hurried back to Scarlett.
As we walked through the gothic colonnade that connected the dorms to the main part of the school, I asked, “HasDear Elizagotten many emails yet?”
“There were a few sitting in my inbox when I checked yesterday.”
“That’s awesome,” I said, glad that she already had interest. When I’d first startedThe Confidant, I had to make up my own questions to answer since no one knew the column existed for several weeks. “Have you had time to answer any yet? I bet people are excited to see the new column in the gazette this week.”
“I started to yesterday.” She waited for me to open the door that would lead back into the warmth of the school from outside. “But then I got distracted by the party and everything else. So even though I stayed up super late to do homework after the play, I never got back to it.”
I opened the large wooden door and held it for her. After stomping my wet shoes on the rug just inside the door, I asked, “How late did you stay up?”
“I don’t know, like two A.M.” She brushed some snow off her blazer sleeves as we walked past a few students sitting on a bench along the long corridor. “When I kept falling asleep on my laptop and found I’d typed, like, twenty pages of the letter L, I gave up and went to bed.”
“It was the letter L this time?” I asked with a slight smile since Scarlett falling asleep at the computer wasn’t anything new.
