Page 66 of The Confidant
21
SCARLETT
I ran allthe way back home, barely able to keep the tears at bay. And instead of stopping to help Megan set the table for our Sunday dinner with Xander like I said I would when I got back, I ran right past the dining room and up the stairs.
When I shut the door to my bedroom and threw myself onto my bed, all I could think of was:I’ve lost him.
I’d been worried since last summer that something was wrong with my friend. I’d known something was off and that he was acting differently around me. Keeping secrets.
But I didn’t think it was this bad. I’d assumed he was just taking a break. Relaxing a bit since senior year was busy and there was only so much free time to go around before all the responsibilities of adulthood hit.
But he was done?
Finished?
A defector? Anapostate?
If I had talked to him about it sooner, would there have been a chance to get through to him?
Was it too late now? Was he too far gone and entangled in Satan’s grasp?
I was in the middle of spiraling and sobbing into my pillow because I couldn’t imagine living in a world where Hunter fully cut ties with the church when a text came through.
I sat up and wiped at my eyes so I could read what my phone said.
Hunter:Sorry that didn’t go well. I’m sure it shocked you. I wanted to tell you in a different way.
I wish he’d told me sooner, like when he was first looking at anti-Fold material. That way, he wouldn’t be so far down the path. His heart wouldn’t be so hardened, and it would have been easier to bring him back.
But maybe it wasn’t too late? He was still trying to have this conversation at least…
I typed back my response with trembling fingers.Can you just read Visitations with Jehovah again and pray about it? Actually read and ponder it?
If he could just read more about Samuel Williams visits with Jehovah, surely he would be able to feel the spirit and see through the cover of darkness he’d put himself in.
But instead of sending anything that made me feel better, he simply texted back:I’ve read it ten times, Scarlett. I know what it says. I don’t need to read it again.
Me:Please.
Hunter:I read it a few months ago when I was trying to figure everything out. It won’t do anything.
But it might. People shared experiences all the time about how reading Visitations with Jehovah changed their lives and helped them get on a better path. If it worked for them, it could work for Hunter.
Me:Can’t you read it just one more time? For me?
For us.
For the future and the family we could have together someday.
I held my breath as I waited for him to respond. When the next text came through, I almost dropped my phone from how jumpy I was feeling.
Hunter:If I agree to read it one more time, will you read the essay at this website? questionsforthehighpriest.com It’s about a two-hour read.
Me:Is that anti-Fold material?
Was he trying to get me to visit an anti-Fold website? Did he think I’d actually fall for something like that?
Hunter:It’s an essay that a Pastor wrote to the High Priest when he was having a hard time making sense of the things he came across while studying for his sermons. It’s a compilation of everything I researched, but all in one spot and much more condensed. But it has all the basic info and details. A lot of the unwhitewashed church history, along with the anachronisms from Visitations with Jehovah.
