Page 19 of The Confidant
Most everyone else I knew at the school had known me as the religious zealot that I’d been our first three years. And since I hadn’t really announced my faith transition to anyone, aside from my guy friends and now Addison, most people still assumed I was the same black-and-white thinking person that I’d been as a member of The Fold.
But with Addison, she was only interested in getting to know me, Hunter Blackwell. And it was kind of nice just being free to be the real me around her versus feeling like I needed to censor whatever I said—something I found myself doing around Scarlett a lot these days.
“I guess you’re going to wait here to talk to Scarlett?” Addison asked as the crowd thinned and most of the students headed back to the dorms.
“Yeah,” I said, feeling my cheeks warm. “We usually walk back to the dorms together after the games.”
“Okay.” She nodded, looking down briefly like she felt awkward. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast.”
“See you then,” I said, feeling uncomfortable myself since we actually had a good time hanging out tonight. I wasn’t sure what to think about it.
If my feelings for Scarlett weren’t a factor in anything, I’d probably be stoked about the chance to go to the dance with someone as fun, smart, and pretty as Addison.
But I shouldn’t want that, should I?
Two hours of great conversation with some laughs mixed in shouldn’t threaten a friendship and bond that was years in the making.
But it would be nice to be with someone who is able to accept me for me.
Someone who didn’t care about whether I believed the same things as her. Someone who didn’t have a father who disapproved of our friendship so much that he promised to remove his daughter—one of Eden Fall’s brightest students—from the school if I was open about what was actually going on with me.
I sighed as I watched Addison and Evan leave the gym together, feeling much more confused than I’d expected to be.
Once they were out of view, I pulled my tablet out of my backpack so that I could add the rest of my notes on tonight’s game into the sports article that would go live in the morning.
My friend Carter scooted down from where he’d been seated on the other side of Mack and snuck a look at my notes. “You writing down the part where Ava threw a three-point shot right before the final buzzer?”
“Of course,” I said. “You know, right after the part about Scarlett stealing the ball from Sherman High’s point guard and passing it to her.”
“Can’t let Ava get all the glory for the Sherman High win, now can we?” Carter asked with a smirk. “At least, not when yourbest friendis involved.”
“Just trying to be honest in my reporting,” I said, ignoring the fact that he said “best friend” in the same way you’d say the wordsmistressorsecret lover.
Which, yeah, since he was familiar about our history and I’d already told all the guys my side of the story, Carter knew that if I had my way, Scarlett and I would at least be closer to either of those things than me being stuck in the friend zone right now.
Okay, so maybe it was more like we’d be at a spot right in the middle of friend zone and secret lovers, because even if I had completely re-thought my morals and what I believed was a smart level of intimacy for two eighteen-year-olds to have, I would probably still keep things at the steamy-kissing-sessions level for the time being.
Even if I no longer believed sex before marriage was a huge sin, like my previous self had thought, sex could still bring on a lot of complications and feelings that I personally didn’t feel quite ready for.
“I think they’re coming out now,” Carter said, heading down the bleachers.
Sure enough, Ava and Scarlett walked around the corner a few seconds later, laughing about something one of them had said.
“You did so amazing tonight,” Carter said to Ava, wrapping her up in a hug when they met on the basketball court. “That three-point shot was epic.”
“Thank you,” she said, beaming up at him.
As I watched their sweet moment, and then looked at Scarlett who stood just a few feet away from me, all I could think about was how I wished I could do the same. To pull Scarlett into my arms and whisper how amazing she is.
But since I was just her friend and not her boyfriend, I cleared my throat and said, “You did awesome tonight, too.”
“Thank you,” she said, her expression more cautious than normal.
We looked at each other awkwardly for a second as Carter and Ava took each other’s hands and started walking toward the gym’s exit.
Once they were several feet away, I said, “Ready to head back to the dorms?”
“Sure.” Scarlett nodded, but there was a tightness behind her eyes that I hadn’t expected.
