Page 16 of The Hot Mess

“No,” I blurted. “I mean, yes. Yes, I am fine. More than fine. This all feels amazing, and I…I want what happens next.”

“What happens next?” He puzzled.

“I want to keep going,” I explained. “But…but there’s something you should know.”

He managed to contain himself enough to roll over to the side of me, but his hands didn’t stop casually exploring my body as I tried to speak.

“You have to know…before…before anything else happens that…I’m…well, I’ve never…”

“No.” His brow furrowed. “You’re not…”

“I’m a virgin,” I confessed, closing my eyes in embarrassment. I couldn’t stand to see the look of pitying judgment on his face.

I was surprised to feel a gentle stroke of his fingers along my jaw, urging me to open my eyes and look at him. I was even more surprised to see that he didn’t look like he felt sorry for me at all. He wasn’t looking at me like I was some freak anomaly, like I had convinced myself would happen when this moment finally came. But once again, I never pictured the moment happening with Jack. That seemed to make all the difference.

“Shit, Jada. I had no idea,” he murmured. “We can stop. I didn’t mean to talk you into coming here. It’s late, but you don’t have to go. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I knew it,” I frowned, feeling my heart sink. “You don’t want me now, do you?”

“What?” he laughed in disbelief. “That’s far from what I’m feeling or thinking.” He leaned in to kiss me again, more gently this time. “I just…I don’t want to hurt you. You’ve saved it this long. You obviously wanted it to be special. And I would love to do that for you. It’s just that afterwards…I can’t…I’m not in a place in my life right now to…”

“You know the hardest part about being a twenty-five year old virgin?” I cut him off. “It’s convincing anyone who might want to sleep with you that you’re not going to go full-fledged obsessed stalker on them afterwards.”

“I don’t think that,” he insisted. “It’s just that…feelings do happen. Especially the first time, and I don’t want to let you down.”

I sucked in a deep breath, suddenly feeling more confident. I liked being able to talk so straightforward with him. And I had the feeling he’d be honest with me.

“I don’t expect anything from you afterwards,” I decided, feeling determined to scratch the itch he sent blazing through me. “I know you’re never in the same place long, and I know you have no interest in settling down…in a placeorwith just one woman. It’s okay. I’m a big girl. I can handle it. I’ve waited so long, and now…I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“Jada, are you sure? You wantmefor this?”

I kissed him again. “There’s something nice about it being you. Maybe because we’ve known each other so long, but don’treallyknow each other…if that makes any sense.”

“It does,” he rasped, swirling his nose against mine.

I crashed my lips back into his, and felt him melt into me again. I let go and kissed him fervently, grabbing at his shirt and kneading into his skin. I wanted him to ravage me, chasing away any doubts I still had left. His body responded whether he meant for it to or not.

“Please, Jack,” I whimpered as I felt him hesitating. “I want you. I want you to take me.Please.”

He seemed to give in too. All of his reservations vanished as he slid his hand under my dress, grazing along my hardened nipples. I cried out as he rolled each one between his finger and thumb. I didn’t know anything could feel so good.

I was so lost in the overwhelming feelings, I barely noticed him pulling away my clothes. First, my dress. Then my bra and panties, until I was stripped down in front of him. I might have been insecure. He was the first man to ever see me completely naked. But the eagerness and excitement in his eyes assured me I had nothing to worry about. He was more than happy with what he saw.

His lips crashed back into mine as his hand glided down in between my legs. I had thought him grazing my breasts was the best thing I ever felt in my life, until he stroked his fingers along my wet folds. I buckled up underneath him, but his strong hand moved over me, holding me down through the intense pleasure and guiding me against him.

I didn’t think I could stand it when he started kissing down the length of my body. I was so dizzy I thought I might faint when his tongue darted against me. I think the only thing that kept me from fainting was not wanting to miss a second of what was happening.

He sucked me into his mouth and ran his hands back up my breasts, squeezing my nipples again. Each new stroke of his tongue was more intense than the one before, and I could feel the orgasm building up inside of me quickly. It was so strange to have someone else be in control of my climax, after so many years of getting myself there.

I almost wondered if another person even could, but an intense wave of pleasure ripped through me all at once and put that thought to rest in a split second. I cried out and convulsed in his arms, amazed at how much better it could feel coming from his mouth.

Everything went dark, and I would have thought it was me finally fainting. But I was still very much aware of the sound of my own breath and the feeling of Jack’s body skin moving beside me, brushing up against me.

I reached out for him and caught a handful of his shirt. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. You didn’t even have time to undress!” I blushed. “Should I have waited before I…”

“God, no,” he smirked, kissing my forehead. “Everything happened exactly as I meant for it to. How do you feel?”

My head dropped back against the mattress as a big smile spread across my face. “Amazing,” I laughed. “I feel fucking amazing.”

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