Page 35 of The Hot Mess

When I set out to change my life, this wasn’t the change I was expecting. Sure, I always wanted to be a mom. But not like this.

I thought about how much fun it used to be to peek inside baby clothing boutiques and gush over all the cute little outfits. It was always the surest way to spark fantasies about motherhood, and when the time might come. Maybe that would still do the trick. The only thing different now was that the time was here. The baby I was dreaming of wasn’t theoretical anymore.

Out of curiosity, I finally got up and showered, got dressed for the day. I took a long walk around the best shops and looked over the cribs, books, clothes, and toys. There would be so much to do to get ready in the next nine months.

I tried to be excited, but everything with Jack was like a dark cloud over it all. I missed him so much it hurt. The moment he ended things, I knew it would hurt like hell. I just didn’t expect to find out I was pregnant with his baby while dealing with all of that heartache.

I couldn’t tell if it was the stress of that making me feel sick, or morning sickness. But a gross feeling in my gut kept building until I finally gave in to sitting in a nearby cafe for some tea and a snack. Once I was settled at my table, I glanced up to the window and felt a new sting in my heart. In front of me was a perfect view of the lake we took a walk by after our first dinner together. I could remember the way my body became so alive with the touch of his hand on mine, and then…that kiss.

Impulsively, I pulled out my phone to call him. I wasn’t ready to tell him everything I was thinking or feeling, much less about the baby, but I wanted to know how he was. I wanted to know if he missed me too. I was a bundle of nerves with each ring, and my heart leaped at the sound of his voice. But I quickly realized it was only his voicemail.

Great. Now not only was I knocked up by a man I had unrequited feelings for, I was knocked up by a man who wasn’t even taking my calls. It had to be my lowest low yet.

The time came for me to leave my cozy spot at the cafe and head into the office. There was a big meeting set for that day, including all of the executives. Just before leaving I buried my face in my hands with dread, remembering that Jack would surely be there. I longed to see him again, but sitting across from him in the meeting room, pretending that everything was fine…It sounded like a nightmare.

I couldn’t let him hold me back, though. It was a mandatory meeting and we had things to discuss about the campaign I had been working on. I sucked it up and headed in.

I showed up just a few minutes late, which of course everyone was surprised by. Almost as surprised as they had been over me requesting the morning off. My eyes instantly drifted to the empty seat in the room. Jack was the only one missing. It seemed he was running late too.

I was surprised when Lucas didn’t wait for Jack, and instead dove straight into reviewing the launch of my campaign. I explained that the first set of interviews were ready to go, and everyone seemed impressed with my report. That was something to cling to at least. I still had my career.

“Great job, Jada.” My oldest brother smiled. He didn’t seem worried that Jack still hadn’t arrived. “Now, onto another very important matter of business. Many of you know that a few promotions recently became available, and I’ve been spending the last couple of months deciding who’s ready to move up around here. I’m happy to announce that I have made my final decision on the newly vacant roles.”

Everyone in the room snapped to rapt attention, eagerly awaiting his announcement. But I felt even more uneasy about Jack’s absence all of a sudden. With the offer extended to him, surely he would be here for Lucas going over the promotions? Something felt off.

“I’m thrilled to introduce our new president, my brother, Joshua Meadows.”

Joshua stood with a smile and cordial nod while everyone clapped. A hard lump formed in my throat. That was the role Lucas had offered to Jack. Had he decided so suddenly to turn it down?

I was on the verge of tears. Jack swore he did have feelings for me, but just needed time and space to think over the offer of president in the company. I had just found out in the worst way possible that the decision had been made, one way or another. So why hadn’t he called or come back to me? Even if things were still over with us, wouldn’t he have been man enough to tell me in person before I had to hear it in the boardroom?

I choked it all down and tried to appear happy for Joshua, joining in applauding him with everyone else.

“That means there are two executive vice presidents positions to fill,” Lucas continued. “And I am so excited to extend one of those seats to my little sister, Jada Meadows.”

I looked up to Lucas in alarm. “What? Me?”

Everyone continued clapping, congratulating me as Lucas announced Camille would be taking the other seat, of course. I was so stunned. I never expected my siblings to want to promote me.

But my excitement did little to curb my concerns about Jack. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Wait a minute,” I blurted. “Thank you, Lucas. And everyone. I’m truly honored, obviously. But I have to ask…Where is Jack?”

Lucas shot a look at Joshua. Both of them grew tense, clearing their throats nervously. It took a long time before either of them could bring themselves to answer. Meanwhile, Victoria flashed me a sympathetic expression from the other side of the room. She was the only one who understood what a loaded question it was for me, along with everything I was going through.

“Jack Landson, as most of you know, agreed to come on with Heartstring for a few months as an advisor. But his time here at the company did not prove to be…fruitfulin the ways we had hoped. We rescinded the offer previously made to him.”

“But—but where is he?” I asked again.

Lucas hung his head for a moment. “I regret to say Jack won’t be returning to Heartstring in the future, as a consultant or in any other capacity, personal or professional. And I have it on good authority he has left town.”

It felt like he had thrown me down to the ground and started furiously stomping my heart. I was trying so hard to hold it together in front of everyone. But an awful eruption of anger was rapidly building inside, threatening to explode in all the worst ways.

Rapid thoughts fired off in my brain. I remembered the look on Jack’s face the last time I saw him, the things he said to me. I remembered everything about our time together. Did it automatically equal us having a future together, or him having a future at the company? Absolutely not. But I could not bring myself to believe Jack would have let things happen this way—taking off without a word, leaving me to find everything out like this. He was the one who told me not to believe everything his sister said about him, so in that moment…I wasn’t going to.

“Hold on a minute.” I jumped to my feet, turning all eyes on me. “There’s no way Jack would have just left like that.”

“You don’t know Jack like I do,” Lucas barked.

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