Page 33 of The Hot Mess

“I’m talking about you running your mouth to Jada Meadows about my personal life. You told her all kinds of stuff you had no business discussing with her, and I want it to stop.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry. She’s not answering my calls or texts, so I doubt I’ll have many more chances to gossip about you.”

“This isn’t a joke, Izzy,” I growled. “This ismy life.”

She sat up, taking off her shades. “You’re so upset. Wait. Are you…do you have a thing for Jada?”

“It’s none of your business.Noneof this is any of your business. What right do you have telling her what I’m looking for when you don’t even know? How could you talk to her about the job offer? You could have fucked up my whole career!”

“I’m—I’m sorry. I just, I was worried about our inheritance. You know how much I depend on it, and I thought if you settled down in one place, it would last us longer. But if you decided to get married or something crazy like that, it’d just eat more of it up. I wanted you to take the job, not Jada. I got carried away, and I was selfish.”

I stared at her long and hard, watching her cling to this charade of being the superficial, rich girl everyone pegged her to be. And they weren’t wrong, based on what she showed the world. But I knew there was more to her than that.

“Cut the act, Izzy. It’s me. I know when you’re lying and trying to put on this air that Mom taught you. Spoiled, rich, selfish. None of that is the real you.”

I was surprised to see her bottom lip tremble just before she slipped her sunglasses back on and stared off into the pool. “Maybe you’re right. What if I said…the real reason I wanted you to take the job was so you’d be around more. I’ve been lonely, you know. Since Mom died. Sure, I have friends and parties and places to travel. But that’s the worst kind of loneliness. Being surrounded by people and still feeling…”

She caught herself, realizing she was giving me far more than she was comfortable with. “I missed having you around is all. You’re the only family I have left.”

I hung my head for a moment, feeling horrible for making her think she was abandoned and alone in the world.

“See, now you feel sorry for me and you feel guilty,” she groaned. “That’s exactly why I don’t talk to you about these kinds of things. I don’t like sounding pathetic, and I don’t like you feeling responsible for it.”

“It’s not pathetic,” I assured her. “It’s human. And as much as Mom wanted you to be a perfect Barbie doll, you are human. Not plastic. You’re allowed to feel things, and it’s normal to want me around more now that everyone else is gone.”

“I didn’t know you had feelings for Jada though. I suspected something might be going on there, and I toyed with her a little. If I had known you were really interested in her, I wouldn’t have run my mouth so much.”

“No, you would have been even worse if you knew,” I quipped. “You never like any woman I fall for.”

“How would you know that? You never fall for anyone,” she laughed.

“Well, it seems I have this time,” I sighed. “If I haven’t messed it all up, anyway. I want both, Izzy. I want to take the job, and I want Jada. But I don’t know if it’s possible to have both.”

“You won’t get the poor girl’s hopes up, and mine, just to get bored a few months in and take off?” she asked.

“I don’t think so. Not this time,” I admitted honestly. “And anyway, I’ll have you around. You always keep things interesting.”

She flashed a proud smile and waved the waiter over to order another drink. “I’ll take that as a compliment. What are you going to do? You have to fix things with Jada. I’ve never seen you take anyone this seriously. You can’t let her slip away so soon, without trying to see what it could be.”

“I know,” I nodded, feeling a hard lump form in my throat. “There’s only one thing to do. I have to come clean to Lucas about everything. At least then I’ll know where I stand. And when I go to make things right with Jada, she’ll know I’m sincere if nothing else.”

“What if she doesn’t want Lucas to know?”

“That’s a risk I’ll just have to take,” I decided.

An hour later, I was standing outside Lucas’s door. I was relieved that he had an opening to see me so short notice, because now that I had decided what I needed to do, I didn’t think I could wait any longer. Once the pieces clicked into place, and I understood exactly how I really felt, I couldn’t keep it all bottled up inside anymore. I needed to know where Lucas stood, and how we might move forward.

Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst, I walked into his office and immediately went to the bar.

“Uh-oh. This must be bad news,” he smirked, watching me pour two drinks.

“You get to be the judge of that.” I handed him one of the glasses and sat across from him. “I need to talk to you about something important.”

“I’m not stupid, Jack. I’ve known you since we were kids, and I can tell when you’re hiding something from me. It wasn’t hard to figure out.”

“Oh?” I perked up. He looked calm. This was good. “How long have you known?”

“You set up tracking on your phone for your assistant and forgot to turn it off,” he explained. “It wasn’t that hard to get her to tell me everything.”

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