Page 24 of Certified Heartthrob

But I shut the door behind me and kept walking. I went home, showered, and carried on with my usual business. There was a special Sunday brunch at the soup kitchen that day, and I assumed my usual role on the serving line.

Rudy, one of my favorite people to serve, smiled at me as he held out his plate for a helping of mashed potatoes, sausage, and gravy.

“How are you today, you old stud?” he teased me. “I saw that pretty girl who was tagging along with you the other week. When is she coming back? We need more beautiful women to go with our lunches.”

“Camille,” I replied. “Just a friend. I’ll let her know you’d like to see her again, though.”

“A friend?” He laughed. “I never would have thought that with the way you two were looking at each other. I certainly don’t look at my friends that way.”

“Well, your eyes are bad,” I teased.

“Maybe so. But I know what I saw. Come sit with me when you’re done, will you?” He eyed my shirt pocket, where I kept a flask specifically for the purpose of sharing with him. When all the others were served and everyone was sitting down to enjoy their meal, I made my way over to the seat Rudy had saved for me. I hoped that by bringing him booze he would spare me from more teasing about Camille. But he brought her up again in no time at all, much to my dismay.

“How did you two meet?” he asked, as he looked around and took a secretive sip from the silver flask.

I decided to play dumb. “How did I meet who?”

“Camille,” he grunted.

“Oh, still thinking about her?” I winced. “It’s a long story. I told you, she’s just a friend.”

“It’s a beautiful thing to be young and in love.” He sighed.

“I’m not that young and I’m definitely not in love.”

“Sure you are,” he insisted. “I can tell by the sick look on your face. That’s the thing about it. It strikes you so hard, it makes you ill. It’s not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure.”

“It’s not for anyone who’s smart enough to know better.”

“You’re so cynical,” he scoffed. “That’s what landed me here in the first place. My wife’s name was Margaret. She was the love of my life, and I was one lucky son of a bitch to have her. Remarkably, she felt the same way about me.”

“Not so surprising.” I patted his shoulder. “You’re a likeable guy. Hell, I like you! But what does she have to do with you needing the soup kitchen?”

His eyes darkened. “When she was gone...I struggled to keep things straight. I haven’t quite been the same since.”

“Forgive me for wanting to avoid the same fate. Did she leave you?”

His face grew even more solemn and he looked up at me with misty eyes. “She got sick. She passed away. It drove me mad. I’m doing better now, but like I said...life isn’t the same without her. I’m not the same without her.”

“I’m sorry,” I offered sincerely. “I guess even if you do manage to snag a good woman, fate will still interfere to tear you apart. Even more reason to avoid it altogether.”

He took another swig from the flask and seemed to drift off into his memories for a moment before turning back to me. “I beg to differ. I’d go through it all over again and then some to relive my time with her. I don’t have any regrets. It was worth it. It was all worth it.”

I noticed a few stragglers coming in and heading for the serving line. The rest of the volunteers were busy refilling drinks, which left it up to me to help the late arrivals. I hated to leave Rudy alone with his heartache, and it was fascinating to hear about his life when he had seen better days.

“I better get back to work,” I announced regretfully.

“You just remember what I said,” he offered. “And bring that woman back to see us. Preferably next time without the false pretense of friendship weighing you both down.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him he wouldn’t be seeing Camille again and neither would I. But as I went through the motions of the afternoon, I couldn’t shake what he had said.

The only thing I was left with after my ex was a broken heart and the vivid regret of having ever met her. All I could think was that the only thing that could have prevented her from hurting me was to never have fallen for her in the first place. Whatever happy memories I had certainly hadn’t been worth it.

But was it possible for things to be different? With the right woman...was it worth the risk? Rudy seemed to think so. So did a million other people who flocked to Heartstring every day in the hopes of finding the same thing.

For the first time, I kind of admired the Meadows’ family commitment to bringing people together, trying to help them find love. I was glad I had given my word to give up my vendetta against them. I knew it was the right thing to do, and making Camille’s life easier...I had to admit that gave me a little joy, too.

When I returned home later, I found myself staring at my dark, empty apartment. I had grown so used to spending my evenings in front of the computer, conning women into meeting up with me to hear my take on how hopeless their search for love was. I was starting to feel lost without it.

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