Page 34 of His Perfect Woman

There it was. Out in the open—just hanging there in the air where it could never be taken back again. If I was going to let that much spill out, I figured I might as well come out with all of it.

“Victoria Sloan, I love you. And I have loved you since we first met. For twenty years. The truth is...I wasn’t seeing someone who was jealous, like I told you before. I made that up because I was ashamed. I was too scared to tell you how I felt, but...never being able to have you as anything more than a friend was starting to feel like more than I could bear. So I pulled back. That’s why we hadn’t seen much of each other before all of this.”

Forcing myself to stop, I stood there and waited—searching her face for some sign, some glimpse of how she was feeling. My chest heaved up and down as we hung suspended in the moment. Everything would be different now...for better or for worse.

19

Victoria

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Had I wondered, and maybe even hoped, that there was more to Lucas and me than just friendship and pragmatic baby making? Of course. I hadn’t chosen to question it, but I did.

But realizing he might like me more than he intended to after he’d already embarked on this whole facade was one thing. Loving me all these years and never saying a word? That was something else entirely.

I had been a nervous wreck ever since Jada blurted out her brother’s secret. And now here he was...standing in front of me, vulnerable in a way I had never seen in him before—terrified and hopeful all at once.

“You should have said something, Lucas.”

“I know. Trust me, I know.”

“No, I don’t think you do,” I barked. “You manipulated me. You were too much of a coward to tell me how you felt, so you tricked me into sleeping with you. Into being engaged to you. What is wrong with you!?”

He chewed his bottom lip for a moment and looked away. Finally, he rolled his shoulders and said, “Love makes you do stupid things, I guess.”

“Then do stupid things that fuck up your own life!” I shrieked. “Not mine! Jesus, what if Jada hadn’t said anything!? Would you have kept this a secret your whole life!?”

“I hoped I wouldn’t have to,” he tried to explain. “I was planning on telling you, Vic. I was waiting for the right time. I was going to tell you at dinner the other night, but...I don’t know. I chickened out. Again. I don’t like any of this. I feel ashamed for not being a better man for you.”

I cut my eyes away, feeling a nagging guilt inside. It seemed we’d both had a secret we intended to reveal that night and neither of us had the guts to follow through. Maybe I didn’t have the right to be so angry with him for not telling me when I hadn’t been able to tell him about the baby at first either. But what kind of relationship could we even have if we couldn’t just talk to each other?

“No,” I blurted, my thoughts bleeding out into words. “I may have needed a minute before telling you about the baby, but I wouldn’t have kept it from you. You’ve kept up this lie for the entirety of our friendship and you manipulated me into being your little puppet, playing along with your fantasy. Ugh, it makes me feel sick just thinking about it!”

“Why did you need a minute to tell me about the baby?” he questioned. “And that’s not exactly a fair comparison. You couldn’t have hidden your pregnancy for long.”

“Sure, that makes it better. Point out how good you are at lying and hiding your own heart.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” he said sternly.

I pursed my lips, not wanting to tell him. But everything was out in the open now anyway. And soon this would all be over, I had decided. Might as well go for broke.

“I didn’t want things to change,” I murmured.

“I can’t hear you.”

“I liked things the way they were!” I shouted, flailing my arms.

“And by things, you mean...all the time we were spending together. Making love—”

“It was never supposed to be making love!” I argued. “We were only supposed to be making a baby!”

“And we did that,” he replied, stepping closer. “You said you wanted that baby more than anything. And you got it, but it still wasn’t enough to make you want to give up what we had.”

“For a moment, yeah...I wondered if maybe we could have it all,” I admitted, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. “But that was before.”

“Before what? Nothing is really so different now, Victoria.”

“Maybe not for you, but it is for me,” I scoffed. “If I had known how you felt...I never would have agreed to any of this.”

“You’re losing track of what I’m getting at here.” He took another few steps forward. Each time I moved back. “Victoria. Do you feel the same way about me? If you didn’t want us to stop…”

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