Page 5 of Forbidden Love, Part One

My heart was racing in my chest as I went to go sit down.

I was vaguely aware that I was crying. I didn’t want to. But my tears never listened to me anyway. He held my phone in both hands as he sat beside me with his elbows propped on his knees.

“It’ll only get worse if you call him now,” he said and kept his face trained toward the fireplace burning in front of us. “Besides, he’s headed to the best place. If he wants to do the right thing, he’ll talk to her when he gets there.”

I didn’t care so much about him at that moment. I cared about myself. I knew what happened when I was stressed like this—triggered, my therapist had called it—which is exactly why I tried my best to avoid situations like this one. It was why I’d taken Zane’s advice and not gone home.

I should’ve gone home.

I didn’t mind being on my own. I knew how to cope with maintaining my addiction after three years of every type of counseling under the sun. I’d given up my therapist about a month ago because she said that I was strong enough on my own. But coming here and being triggered by this…I wasn’t so sure if she was right about that anymore.

“I hope he tells her,” I heard myself say after a long moment.

Marshall shrugged. “That’s between the two of them now.”

I studied his face, if only to get my mind off of my brother and his treacherous acts. Time had done nothing but age Marshall in the best of ways. He had stubble that he kept neat and flat to his face. His dark hair was cut long at the top and shorter to the sides. Some of the top was sticking up in all different directions now. I guessed that it was from whatever activity he was doing before Zane called him over.

It made me sick to my stomach to think about him with another girl. So, I moved my train of thought.

Unfortunately, that meant that it went back to Zane cheating on Amelia.

I sighed. I knew I had to talk it out with somebody soon and my friends were probably all asleep by now given the time difference and all. I didn’t want to bother my therapist—or anyone, as a matter of fact—with my problems at this late hour.

Marshall didn’t know what I’d done so many years ago. He didn’t know why this affected me so much. I didn’t think that my brother was a cheater. I wanted to believe in my heart that he wasn’t. But the evidence had shown itself—or herself in this case.

However, Marshall had mentioned that Monica was his ex. So, he might be the only person that was capable of understanding. If anything, he probably had it worse than me. His ex-girlfriend. I didn’t know if he loved her a lot, but he clearly was surprised to find that she’d been with his best friend. The look on his face now did reveal that he was as shaken as I was to know that Zane had slept with her.

I took a deep breath and crossed my arms over my lap. Even if he was a terrible person to me right now, he should have at least known why this affected me so much.

“My dad,” my voice croaked, “he cheated on my mom.”

He didn’t look at me, but he nodded. “I know.”

“Yeah, well, I never forgave him for it. We fight all the time because I’m still holding onto the pain that my mom seems to let go of,” I continued. “I’m only now learning how to forgive him. Don’t really think I can forget what he did.”

I took a deep breath and continued. “It set me down a really bad path and now we hardly talk,” I continued when he said nothing. “The night I found out was the night we were moving before I left for college. After the fallout, Zane stayed with me. I told him my dad just proved to me that I can’t trust a single man in this world with my heart. Zane told me he’d set the example…he said if he chose to do right, then he was certain there were other men who’d do right by me too.”

My throat burned with the tears I didn’t let fall and I took a shaky breath. Marshall turned to look at me.

“And now even he broke his promise,” I went on. “I can say for certain men aren’t to be trusted.”

His body vibrated once on what looked like a small laugh. “No offense taken,” he said.

The corner of my lip curled up. “Oh, please, you’re the epitome of ‘don’t trust a man.’”

He shook his head. “A perfect example is Monica.” He gestured his head in the direction of the door. “I wasn’t really into the relationship thing with her and could never give it my all, but I still did right by her. She knows she can’t ever say differently. Wild guess about why we broke up? She cheated.”

I tilted my head to the side. “Why weren’t you into it?”

He stared at me, those piercing green eyes searching my soul for what felt like an eternity. But then he smirked and said, “Ask another question.”

Now, I was more curious than ever to have the answer, but I let it drop. Only because he was being nicer to me right now than he had been all night. I didn’t particularly care if it was out of pity or if he’d been too shaken by what he just saw to keep up his act. His attention was on me now and I was loving it. I found the question that I wanted to ask next then.

I looked down at the fingers that were intertwined in my lap, at the floor, at the threading on the couch. Anywhere but at him.

“Why were you so mean to me tonight?” I asked. “What did I do between being gone and now that changed the way things were between us?”

A second passed. Then another. I wondered if he was going to answer the question or if he was just going to revert to the person he was before his ex-girlfriend had shown up.

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