Page 22 of Hold

She went on. “The phone and tablet and anything else you see here that’s worth anything are gifts, from my brother, usually.”

“Company not in the toilet anymore, then.”

“Kane nearly killed himself bringing it back, but no. So,” she finished, trying to smile. “I’m a rich girl playing at being poor, if you want to see it that way. Or a poor girl too stubborn to take her own money.”

He unfolded his arms, and she thought for a second he really might put them around her. “How long have you been alone?” he asked, his voice rough.

She laughed. Since her mother had died? Since Sam had gone off the rails? Since she’d realized Gabe was all blarney and no substance? Since she’d thrown him out the first time, after Benji was born? Since he’d left them all? Since just before Liam had somehow made his way into her life?

“I’m not alone,” she said, “not really. Not like some single moms. My bosses are very understanding and give me all the flextime I ask for. I have a family who’d never let us starve. Most of my fights with Kane are me fending off his offers of help. My sister Cat would mother the crap out of all three of us if I let her—and she takes the boys once a month so I can have a weekend to myself. See,” she said, one corner of her mouth lifting, “I use my nearest and dearest for just as long as it suits me, and then I tell them I don’t need their help.”

When had he gotten closer to her? Another couple of inches and her chest would brush his. The refrigerator door was behind her back, and Liam’s body was no less unyielding in front of her. She struggled to keep focus. “Like you,” she said. “I should have been paying you.”

It didn’t come out strongly enough, and when he replied, his own voice was low and intimate. “I don’t mind,” he said.

Thea closed her eyes. He was going to kiss her, and she couldn’t drag herself out of the space he’d created for them. “Don’t, Liam,” she whispered. “I’m all out of trust.”

He opened his mouth, a breath from hers…

And the front screen door banged and a voice said, “Phew! Thank God for a/c! Hey, is it broken? It’s not making as much noise.”

Liam stepped back, and the air-conditioning seemed to swirl around her skin, raising goose bumps along her arms. He took the tray of lemonade glasses from the counter next to her and walked into the living room with it. “’Cause it’s fixed now,” he said to Zahra.

Thea stayed in the kitchen for a moment more, trying to make her breath come out in the normal way, not these short gasps.

Chapter 6

That night, with their final paper looming, they spoke less and wrote more. Liam found that they asked him more questions tonight, which gave him something to do, since he’d finished his final paper two weeks ago. He hadn’t told them that, though. If he admitted that, he’d have to admit that the only reason he’d come to their study group in the first place was to see more of Thea. Which was entirely pathetic.

A Fielding. She might as well have been a Rockefeller. What a laugh she must be having at the idea of him and her ever getting together. His dad did well, but he wasn’t a fucking Fielding.

And to think he’d nearly kissed her.

Benji was in the room with them, as Thea had been unable to keep him distracted with a movie for more than a couple of weeks. Tonight he sat at Liam’s feet. From Liam’s position, he could just see the port-wine birthmark that spread down one cheek and one side of Benji’s neck. The weight of the boy as he was lulled to sleep by the quiet tap of fingers on keyboards seemed a reproach to Liam. He’d gotten himself into this family. Benji had taken a shine to him, not that Liam had encouraged him. He liked kids, and Benji knew it. But while Liam wasn’t about to tell Thea that the boys needed a father figure, at least one reason for Benji latching on to him was clear.

Liam winced and took a mouthful of beer from the glass Thea had poured for him. Thank God the class was nearly over. He could get out of the group and out of her life and not embarrass himself the way he had with Avery. Another woman who’d expected a different way of life than he could give her. At least this time, the idea of exploring any kind of relationship with Thea had all been in his stupid, naïve mind.

When Thea came down from carrying a sleeping Benji up to bed, Chloe was waiting for her with a full glass of red. “Sorry,” she said, “but I’m going to talk about the elephant in the room. What happened with their dad?”

The others froze. “Chloe!” Zahra said.

Seth and David looked deeply uncomfortable. “You don’t have to—” David began.

“I know,” Thea said. “But you’re my friends.” Did her eyes cut to him, just for a second? “I don’t want you to think I—” She shook off the thought, whatever it was. “He worked in construction when I was at college. I met him in a bar. He was off-the-boat Irish. That accent, you know?”

Chloe and Zahra sighed in agreement.

“Well, so I had Jake.” Her mouth tightened. “And it turned out Gabe… wasn’t the fatherly type.”

“He dumped you?” Chloe breathed.

“Yes. And no. And then yes.” Thea smiled. Liam couldn’t tell if it was to throw them off the scent of how devastating that must have been for her and the boys or because she still had feelings for her ex. The idea made him want to growl again. “But don’t get me wrong,” she went on. “He loves his kids. He just doesn’t know how to be a father to them.”

“It’s not fucking hard.” Oh shit. Apparently, that was him talking. “You just show up.”

The rest of them nodded. But Thea said, “Just showing up doesn’t cut it in my book, I’m afraid. He’d show up, all right, when it suited him or when the guilt was too much or… I don’t know why. He rarely explained himself, except to give abject and heartfelt apologies and promises that he then had to repeat six months later.”

She froze for a second. “Whoa. Sorry. Debbie Downer here.”

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