Page 26 of Memories of the Past

I wandered through the halls in the direction the front desk had given me until I came upon Jed’s room. I looked in through the door. He lay in bed, on his back, staring up at the ceiling, looking rather depressed. I shook my head. Jack had also warned me that his father’s spirits weren’t as they had been in the past and that I probably should prepare myself.

“Knock, knock,” I called. I expected Jed to answer, but he didn’t even turn his head. He just lay there staring up at the ceiling.

I frowned to myself and stepped inside of his room. “You up for visitors, old man?” I called out, smiling to myself because I knew that would get his attention.

“Who the hell wants to visit this old man?” he called out.

I smiled, removed my hat, and proceeded to enter the room and sit down in a chair by the window. “Me. That’s who! How are you doing?” I asked, placing my hat down on the table.

“Well, fine I guess, now that I’ve decided that I want to die.”

I let out a laugh that came straight from my gut and shook my head. “Why is that?”

“Well, I fractured my wrist, and you know as well as I do that if a horse broke its leg bad enough, it would be put down. I just don’t understand why I’m even still here.”

I let out another loud laugh. “Jed, for as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been a miserable old bugger. I’m glad to see you haven’t changed! All this talk of dying though, it’s got to stop. Jack is worried.”

“It’s the truth!” Jed said, turning to look my way. “You, more than anyone, should have learned that by now.”

“Yep, you’re right, it is the truth. Only there is one problem,” I said, leaning forward.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“You’re not a horse,” I answered. “Now, don’t let a fractured wrist hold you back. Keep your spirits up because you’ll be back to normal in no time, and we won’t be able to keep you down!”

“Oh, what do you know anyways. All you young kids are the same,” Jed said.

“We know absolutely nothing. But I do know one thing. The reason I came here today was because I figured I might be able to give you a reason to live.”

“If you say Jack, I’ll tell you right now—”

I held my hand up, stopping him. “It isn’t Jack.”

Jed took one look at me and shook his head, then waved his large hand in my direction. “If it isn’t my son then what is it?”

“What if I told you that the love of your life was here?”

Jed looked at me. “Don’t be ridiculous. My Elizabeth has been gone for twelve years. No matter how bad I might want her back, she isn’t coming.”

I got up from my chair and sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at Jed. “I’m not speaking of Elizabeth,” I said, my voice low.

“Well, that is the only love I have.”

“No, it’s not,” I said, matter of fact.

Jed didn’t say anything. He just looked at me, a question in his eyes. Then he pushed himself up a little. “Ah, you damn kids. You don’t know what you’re talking about half the time.”

“Jed, I do. You left her, exactly the way I left Trinity. Then, over the years, you met and married your rodeo queen and had a son. Then she left you. I know you, Jed. You’ve never thought that you deserved love, not only because you told me that a million times but because that is exactly the way I’ve felt most of my life. You could never quite get it through your head that she loved you.”

“Lunchtime!” We heard a woman sing from the door.

We both looked in the direction and saw a young girl carry in a tray and place it on the table beside Jed’s bed.

“I’m not hungry,” Jed grumbled.

“Mr. Hawkins, you don’t want to miss this meal. We’ve got clam chowder and chocolate cake for dessert,” the young girl replied smiling at him.

When Jed didn’t respond I smiled at the young girl. “You can leave it here. I’ll make sure he eats his lunch.” I winked.

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