Page 34 of Bad Teacher

12

“Wow,” Nikki said. “You’re pregnant too?”

“Haven’t you heard what she’s been saying for the past thirty minutes?” Lara nudged her friend’s arm.

“Sorry, I get distracted these days. Mommy brain,” Nikki said.

“Well, let me put you up to speed—she’s pregnant and broke up with the baby daddy,” Lara said.

Violet plopped on the couch between her two friends, the truth of those words weighing her down. For the past three days, she’d been alternating between feeling sorry for herself for letting Theo go and trying to build herself up. She could deal with a lot, but not manipulations.

He’d used the word love to manipulate her into marrying him. He couldn’t love her—he’d married the type of woman who was perfect for him—the one who made all the right choices. That wasn’t her anymore. From the moment she faced her past and confronted her mother, a lot had changed. Her mother had refused to support her claims and disowned her from her will when Violet hadn’t backed down. She’d decided to wrestle her demons, and she’d stopped being perfect. The perfect wife. The perfect daughter.

If he accepted her the way she was, he wouldn’t have pressured her so much early on. He’d give her time and space. But no, he’d been selfish. Selfish and only thinking about himself and doing the right thing which meant she couldn’t believe him when he said he loved her.

What if he could love me? Not now, but some day? And I threw it all away. Her stomach plummeted, and an icy sensation spread through her body.

“Violet,” Nikki called her. “Are you sure you don’t want him? I saw the way he looked at you in Vegas.”

“He wanted to have sex with me.”

“No, it was something more,” Nikki insisted. “Why is it so hard for you to believe it?”

“I don’t know… after so much work I’ve done, you’d think I’d know the answer.” Violet glanced at her tea. After that morning sickness, tea and crackers had all she’d managed to eat. “What’s wrong with me?” she asked more to herself than her friends.

“How do you feel about him?” Lara asked, shifting in the couch, staring at her with those big brown eyes that made it impossible for anyone to lie.

“I fell for him,” Violet said. She reached for the tea, trying really hard to focus on something to keep her mind from wandering. “He’s wonderful. But I can’t compromise my needs for a relationship. I can’t be the only one bringing love.”

“Did he say how he felt about you?”

“Yes, but only when it was too late.” She rolled her eyes. She took the teacup to her lips and sipped the liquid. “He said he loved me after he’d tried everything else to convince me to marry him. Which makes it hard for me to trust him, you know what I mean? It wasn’t his first thing to say.”

“Maybe he was scared to say it,” Nikki said. “He has some baggage too, right? A late wife.”

“Yes.” And a bad relationship with his father, if what he’d let slipped was anything to go by. She ran her fingers through her hair.

“What if it took something big to happen to drive him out of his comfort zone and tell you how he feels?” Nikki asked.

Violet closed her eyes and rubbed them. The image of Theo appeared, and she opened her eyes in a start, clearing her throat. Jesus. Get a grip. “I need to think. Maybe I acted on impulse, but I can’t give up on one day finding someone who really loves me.” And if he really loved her, he wouldn’t have walked away so easily.

* * *

“Here. Please come in, Violet,”said Principal Clark, standing from his chair behind his desk.

She closed the door of his office behind her and walked in. Why did he call her? Had he found out about her pregnancy?

No, that was silly. She’d only found out herself less than a week ago.

She sat in front of him, and he plopped on his seat. Then, he stared at her and re-arranged the collection of small miniature Star Wars characters he kept on his desk—something he usually did when he was tense or nervous.

“Why did you want to see me?” she asked in a neutral tone.

“Well, I’ve heard some news and wanted to ask you about them.”

Shit. What if something freaky happened, like someone from school saw me and Theo at the OBGYN?Sweat slicked her palms, her heart racing. She wasn’t ready to talk about this at work yet. Hell, she hadn’t even shared the news with her children.

“Are you having an intimate relationship with Theo Brodeur, Marcelle’s father?” he asked her, his chubby cheeks reddening.

---