Her usual chatty father kept quiet, the contours of his face somber. He knows. Had Graham told her father about them? Her stomach sank to the floor. She reached for the Styrofoam cup of water next to her bed and gulped some down. Disappointment poked her. Graham hadn’t made an effort to see her. He hadn’t even called. When things got tough, he bolted—not a good sign.
Her father had gone to get some breakfast and to search for the doctor to check her out. When the door opened, she straightened her shoulders. Graham paced in, and it took a quick glance at his face to stop her heart from beating. A purple circle outlined his left eye, and the skin under the other side seemed puffy like . . . he’d been crying? She bit on her lower lip. “What happened?” she asked as he walked toward her and sat on the edge of the bed.
Her fingers itched to touch him, but his defeated appearance somehow pinned her to the spot. Acid spilled into her stomach and her hand flew to her throat, worried she’d throw up from anticipation. “Tell me. My father knows, doesn’t he?”
Graham thinned his lips into a line and looked straight into her eyes. “I was worried about you, Kate. I’m glad you’re well. I’m sorry about the accident. My fault.”
“What? No. The other driver—
“I know, but maybe I should have paid more attention.”
“Don’t be silly. I talked to the police. The other driver was drunk,” she said. Why did he have to make a big deal? She was alive and well. “Look, I know Dad can be a pain in the ass to get used to different things. He’s not exactly open-minded, but he’ll accept us.”
He looked away. “Accept what? Listen, Kate, we should give this a break.”
A war of emotions raged within her. She slid off the bed, desperate to stand up to that nonsense in the literal sense. “Excuse me? You told me you loved me in the car,” she said, watching him and challenging him to glance back.
He let out a sigh and when he turned his face to her, determination flashed in his eyes. “And I do. But you’re expected in Switzerland and I don’t want to be the one to keep you from enjoying your life.”
She leaned closer to him, but he lifted a hand, signaling her to stop. Her heart shrank to the size of a freaking M&M. “We’ll work it out. You’re loaded. You can come visit. Hell, I can visit you when I get a break.” Certainly, couples had endured long distance relationships before. Why did he bend to her father’s stupid rules?
“This is a life changing experience for you. You’ll meet people from different cultures, be able to travel to nearby countries when you have holidays and weekends. I don’t want to keep you from it just so it’ll be more convenient for me.”
“Breaking up with me is convenient for you. Everything was peachy until we hit a roadblock and then you send me packing, right?” she said, remembering what he’d said about staying with Amanda until she wanted marriage. Or not opening the letters his mother sent him and yet not throwing them away. One way or the other, Graham moved on from people easily and she was no different.
Tears pricked the back of her eyes. She inhaled deeply and willed herself to keep talking without crying. God, she’d been pathetic the entire time, delusional and optimistic. Too optimistic.
He stood and stretched to his full height. “I said we’re giving it a break. I’m letting you go to Europe and I won’t contact you for the duration of your program. If you still feel the same for me in a year, call me and I’ll go to wherever you are,” he said with the formality of a business deal.
She withdrew. “How is this arrangement different than being together while I’m abroad?”
“Because being officially separated will give you the chance to see if that’s what you want for your life. You’ll meet other people. People your age. And I promised your father I’d give it a year.”
“How did you make a promise that involves me and will impact my life a great deal without my knowledge? Is this what this is about? You keep your precious friendship with my father and get rid of me.” Would he wait for her for a whole year? No. He’d probably end up dating women his age, women who had it all together and represented no threat. He’d forget about her.
“Trust me, Kate. You don’t want a relationship where you go against everyone. Giving them time is much better.”
“I can’t stand this. My father’s always wanted to control my decisions in life and you’re no different. You’ve made up your mind and nothing I say will change it, right?” How hadn’t she seen this earlier? This whole spiel about her enjoying her time abroad could only mean he wanted time away to make sure she cared about him or he did about her. Either way, he had never consulted her. “I’m letting you off the hook, Graham,” she said, each word stabbing a different part of her chest.
“This doesn’t have to be the end,” he said, his voice strained like he didn’t believe his own words.
“If you’re making decisions for me and my feelings clearly mean nothing to you, the end is exactly what this is,” she said, then raised her voice. “Get out.”