Page 29 of Suddenly Pregnant

“Thanks,” Jack said, with a note of sarcasm, for being treated like he was some package or a five-year-old.

“Awesome, Chase. Do you want to come in and eat with us?”

“I can’t. Have to make it to H-E-B before it closes and put in the ticket. I feel like today’s the day. Bye guys.”

“H-E-B?” Jack asked after Chase left.

“It’s a grocery. He’s been playing the lottery for the past ten years. He feels every day is his day,” she said. Both her twin cousins Chase and Chance were good people. She wondered if a part of Chase always wished for better luck, since he’d been practically raised by his sister while his mother either worked or drank.

“Can’t he do that online?” Jack closed the door behind them.

“Chase is superstitious.”

He gave her a devastatingly delicious smile, that neutralized any reservations. “Your family is quirky.”

“Yes, we bring the best genes.”

He chuckled, then pulled her into his arms. “Yes you do.” He kissed her, and each time it was like their lips and tongues had their own language, and communicated in a hotter way with each new stroke and nip.

When he pulled from her, he stared at her in silence before he asked, “How was it with the realtor?”

“Oh she seems nice. I told her I’d let her know about renting or selling.”

The contours of his face hardened for a moment. “I’m all for investing in real estate, but if you don’t plan on living here, won’t it just be a headache in the future?”

“Not if I hire a company to manage it for me. Besides… it’s good to have a safety net.”

“A safety net,” he repeated, stepping away from her. “You think you need one?”

“Everyone needs one. But yes, especially in my case. We haven’t talked about it at length, but you expect me to move to Australia permanently, and according to you, somehow these feelings we’re developing for each other will disappear the moment the baby is born and we’ll go back to being whatever we were before,” she said, her words registering once she heard them. He wanted her to risk everything, and he’d risk nothing. He’d enjoy the convenience of having a baby mama nearby, without having to work on a relationship or marriage. She’d give him her all and he’d give her… not enough.

“We talked about it on the plane.”

“Yes. We did. I meant we didn’t talk about it a whole lot.” She rubbed her temples. “Listen, I’m just thinking clearly.”

He cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at her. Like he didn’t believe what she said. “And you weren’t before? Billie, I’m not looking to argue with you. I know you’ve been through a lot in the past few days. We just need to come up with a plan. I can’t hang out here forever.”

She stepped back, annoyed. “I never asked you to come.”

“I know. But now I’m scared to go back and you change your mind on me about the original plan, and decide to stay here forever,” he said, a touch of apprehension in his voice.

She didn’t know if she reached out to hug him or scold him for thinking she’d just shun him from their baby’s life. “I would never keep you from your son or daughter. Maybe we can do something like I go back to Australia after things get settled here, and we see how things go for a couple years, and before they start school we make a decision on where I’ll be living permanently.”

“Why can’t we just decide on one thing and stick to it?”

She glanced around the room, and a twinge of disappointment stabbed at her. It was like those walls mocked her, for after having been underappreciated her entire life by one man, she picked another to decide she wasn’t good enough to marry. Her father had treated her as her opinion didn’t matter, and how was Jack any different? A sad nostalgia flooded her chest. “I don’t know Jack, why can’t we decide? Do you ever wonder if my opinion counts? Have you ever wondered about what I want?”

He waved her off, visibly frustrated that she wasn’t just going with it. “I’ve been honest from the start.”

“Bullshit. You being honest doesn’t change reality. You know how you use this I don’t want to be like my father excuse? Well, guess what? You’re not like him. But you’re like your mom—she got accommodated to your father. She got used to her situation and didn’t change it, when she had the power to,” she said. At first, the words escaped her and she spewed them like poison, regret quickly coming over her. Then a second later, she saw the truth in her accusation. She meant no shade to his mother, but Jack didn’t want to rock the boat.

Frustration oozed from him, his eyes growing colder. “You don’t know shit about my mom.”

“I don’t. I don’t mean to offend her. But my point here is, the difference is she got used to a less-than-ideal marriage and I’m guessing made the best of it. You got used to a life without marriage in it, because it makes you feel safe.”

He shook his head roughly. “You’re not my therapist, Billie.”

“No. But I’d like to be more than your baby mama. I don’t want to settle for less than I deserve anymore.” Damn it, she felt how much he was into her. He could even… love her. Why did he have such a hard time coming to terms with it himself? “I also… can’t be around forever waiting for you to realize that.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you can go back to Australia. You’re needed there. I’ll settle my stuff here. We can draw a fair custody agreement when the baby is born, but I’m ending any romantic link between us right now.” Before I hurt worse, she said inwardly. Wasn’t too late for self-preservation, was it? “Don’t worry. I’ll never keep you away from the baby,” she added, hoping he’d grasp the sincerity in her words.

He gave her a layered look, and inched closer, so close that she could feel the dark resentful energy bouncing between them. Her throat felt dry, her heart drumming in her ears. She’d never experienced this kind of intensity before… like he could rip her apart with one look. One word. Even her father hadn’t had this much power over her… which only made Jack even more dangerous. “Well… how generous of you,” he said, before turning on his heels and shutting the door behind him. Leaving her.

Her knees weakened, and she dropped herself in a chair. She could slice it anyway she wanted, but a part of her knew she’d just lost Jack and there was no coming back.

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