Page 57 of Meant to Be

“I didn’t get your letter. They moved me to a different prison, a lower CAT one. That must be the reason. I didn't want you coming there Shelb, it's a vile place and…”

I have to put this in a way she understands, I’m not trying to be harsh, but I need to show her I’m truthful.

“I meant what I said yesterday, I did try and forget you in there. I didn’t want to show any weakness and you Shelby, are mine.”

Her eyes glaze over with unshed tears as she chews on the inside of her mouth.

“I’m sorry I left you at your mums, I’m sorry you had to deal with all that shit. I’ll never be able to make it up to you, I know that.”

Getting up from the bed I drop to my knees at her feet, taking her hand in mine. When she doesn’t pull it away, I slowly move my hand towards her face. When she doesn’t move her head, I take that as an invitation. I cover her cheek with my palm, my thumb gently grazing over her cheek.

“Please don't,” she pleads, her breath hitching.

“Why not?”

“Because I'm not strong enough.” Her voice shakes, it’s weak like she’s holding back her emotions.

“Strong enough for what, Shelb?” I whisper confused.

“Strong enough for you, not again.”

A stray tear drops over the edge, but I catch it with my thumb. She leans into my hand and covers mine with hers for a minute before removing it.

“I can’t do this right now Jax.” Another tear leaves her eye and tracks down her cheek. Wiping it away quickly, she blows out a shaky breath. “I have to go.” She slowly stands from the chair.

“Shelby, please don't go. We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to ever feel the way I did before. I don’t want to hurt again. I have to be strong if not for myself - then for my baby.” Her hand strokes her swollen tummy. “Our baby.”

“I need you, Shelby.” I’m desperate, I need her to let me in. I know I said I’d be patient but I need to know there’s at least a little chance for us. “Do you think there’s a way back for us?”

“Maybe…”

I release the breath I was holding in some sort of relief.

“Please just stay longer, we can talk about this... I can't lose you again. It broke me Shelb.”

“It broke me too. I didn’t think I’d ever stop crying.”

She lets her tears go now, I pull her into my chest, stroking her hair and holding her tightly to me while she sobs. Tilting her head back, I plant my lips to hers tenderly tasting her tears as they mingle with our kiss. Threading my fingers into her hair, I pull her closer to me, letting her body soften against mine as she relaxes into me. Her tiny hands grip the sides of my t-shirt as she pushes up to her tiptoes letting me devour her.

Breaking our connection, she doesn’t move right away, it’s like she’s savouring what we’ve shared. My lips move to her forehead, they linger on her warm, soft skin, her eyes remaining closed. She drops down as her feet set firmly on the floor again and her eyes flutter open, looking up at me.

“I didn’t think we’d ever be like this again Jax, I thought you hated me?”

“Shelb, I could never hate you.”

Taking her hand, I lead her back towards the bed.

“I’ve told you if I get down there I’m not getting up.”

“Just get down, and I’ll worry about getting you up.”

She guides herself down to sit on the edge of the small bed, and I sit on the other end by the wall, stretching my legs out. She lies flat on her back pulling up her knees, so her feet are flat on the bed. My hand hovered over her belly waiting for acceptance.

“Can I feel it?”

She smirks, “Of course you can.” I stroke over the large bump - my baby, begins to move about under my hand. “Was that the baby?” I ask surprised.

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