Lifting the bottle, I see there’s only a quarter left. I lay back on the couch, bottle in hand and put on the telly, flicking through the channels monotonously until the contents have been drained and I pass out. The last few hours blur into a surrealistic nightmare.
Chapter Twelve
Shelby
I haven’t seen Jaxon all weekend, I need him so much. I don’t want this abortion, but I’m so afraid she’s going to make me do it… I’m so scared he’s going to hate me after all this, and then I’ll have nothing; no Jaxon and certainly no baby. It’s crazy how you can attach to something so quickly.
Harry came by and said he’d seen him. He was drinking and having his own pity party and warned me to stay away from him for now as he’s a little volatile. It’s understandable with everything she said to him.
Mum is watching me even more closely now - it’s like having a bodyguard, so there’s no chance I’m going to see Jax. I’ve tried ringing him, but it goes to voicemail all the time.
I’ve tried so hard to get out of this, but I can’t. She’s making me go through with it. I want to scream at her, but all I can do right now is cry. I can understand Jax drinking, there’s one difference between Jax and me though, I can’t drink.
While looking through my stuff upstairs, I come across my dad’s address. I haven’t seen him for a few years, he’s probably forgotten I even exist, but all this makes me want to speak to him. Maybe he can talk some sense into her.
“Shelby.” Mum balls up the stairs. I get off the floor and grab my bag making my way out.
She’s sitting on the couch on her phone when I get downstairs. In a last-minute attempt, I try to appeal to my mother’s better side.
“Mum, have you got a minute?”
She looks at her watch, “Make it quick, we have to go.”
“Please don’t make me do this. I promise I’ll stop seeing Jax but please don’t make me abort my baby.”
I let the lone tear roll slowly down my cheek as I plead to her softer side… if she even has one.
“I know you don’t agree with me now, but in the long run you’ll see that this was the right decision.”
“Why are you so hard-hearted?” My voice raises, "What if someone had said that to you, that you had to abort me? Would you have done it?”
“These are completely different circumstances, Shelby.”
“What if they’d have been the same?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“I’m not going to answer that question, Shelby. I wouldn’t have been that stupid. Now, grab your bag, we need to get going.”
“So now I'm stupid?" I fire back but I know I'm not going to get her to change her mind if I'm angry. I change my approach. "Mum please, I don’t want to do this.” I cry. “Don’t make me kill my baby…”
“Oh for goodness sake Shelby, it’s not even a baby yet. You’re doing yourselves a favour. I’m helping you, you’ll thank me for this.”
I doubt that very much, I mumble to myself. She pulls me along out of the door, I shrug out of her hold and storm off into the car.
It’s a strained silence in the car on the way to the clinic with only the sounds of the engine and my sobs. I can’t stop even when she’s booked me in… I get my phone out and check myself in at the Redtree clinic on Facebook, so maybe if Jax does go on there, he’ll see it.
I sit in one of the chairs away from my mother. Every now and then she looks over, but I can’t even face her.
“Shelby Andrews.”
A nurse stands at the doorway smiling as I stand to wipe away the tears from my face, trying to compose myself a little bit.
Mum picks up my bag and escorts me to the room.
“Shelby.” I turn at the sound of Jaxon’s frantic voice. “Don’t do this, please. I'm sorry!”
The nurse takes me to the room and asks me to get on the bed. I do as I’m asked. I pull my leggings down and my jumper up. My whole body shakes with sobs as I wait for the nurse to do her job.
“Shelby sweetheart, I need you to calm down, you’re going to make the baby distressed and yourself, we can’t do this if you’re in this state.