Page 14 of Love & Other Disasters

Six

Company Wide Memo:

Our Chief Financial Officer, Melvin McAvoy, has announced his retirement effective immediately. We thank Melvin for his dedicated seventeen years of service to Medi-Health. Come by the Music City conference room today at 3 p.m. for Melvin’s retirement party.

We would like to welcome new Chief Financial Officer, Jordan Harper, to the team. Jordan brings with him a wealth of experience from Turner Inc., Global Health, and McKesson. He has an MBA from The University of Chicago.

Come meet Jordan at a town hall meeting in the large common room on the first

floor tomorrow at 10 a.m.

All the hairs on the back of Violet’s neck stood up reading that email. The hushed rumors of the last two weeks were that Ed was leaving, not Melvin. Speaking of Poppy, she wasn’t at her desk. None of the managers were there. Her stomach rolled and a heaviness weighed in her chest. A shake up in upper management didn’t necessarily mean awful things were on the horizon.

But it did.

The room went silent as everyone read their email. The tension in the room became palpable, and the sounds of fingers tapping away on keyboards filled the room. The best way to send panic through the rank and file was with a management change. While you might not like your job the best, it is the devil you know, and any changes might send it careening into a hell hole. Her heart raced, and it was just as pleasant as the hangover and shame combo of two weeks ago.

Violet texted Elle: Management shakeup here. Don’t have a good feeling.

She wouldn’t get a response from Elle right away. Violet returned to the tax report in front of her and minded her own business. The frantic whispering had already begun all around. It was only a matter of time before the mass hysteria and the standard management response of how they should all stay calm and do their jobs. God forbid you stop producing work before getting fired. When did she become so cynical?

“Hey,” came a whisper. Monique peered over the cubicle wall, her wild curls encircling her face. “What do you think of all this?”

She shrugged. “Not sure.”

“My boyfriend’s been telling me to keep my resume polished. Sounds like I should.”

“I’m guessing it wouldn’t hurt.”

Monique nodded, then disappeared to her side of the wall. No point in worrying before they knew what was going on, she forced her attention back to the tax spreadsheet.

Her phone buzzed with an incoming text from Elle: Another reason to come work for me.

The Music City Conference room was filled to capacity, people showed up for free cake. Most of the cake seekers couldn’t pick Melvin out of a lineup of pasty old white dudes in suits. But for a sanctioned break from work and a slice of cake, they showed up. At her retirement party, she’d serve only a vegetable tray. Then she’d figure out who her genuine friends were. Melvin shook hands and received back slaps and congratulated on his retirement. Didn’t anyone notice that he didn’t appear all that happy? Not that Melvin ever looked excited.

With all the upcoming changes, maybe it was time to job hunt. Was she happy here? No. But, is anyone happy at their job? Nothing is great all of the time. Violet was putting in her dues for a promotion, that’s all. She’d have to do that anywhere, even for Elle.

“Melvin, speech,” someone yelled. Everyone quieted.

The small silver-haired man smiled and nodded.

“Thank you all for coming,” he said. “I appreciate the party and everyone taking time out of their day to see me off.” Melvin climbed up on the conference room table with an agility that defied his years. “I wanted to say… that these guys are cock-sucking bastards. The board is forcing me into this, and this is what I think of this party.” Melvin unzipped his pants and let out a stream of urine on the remaining uncut buttercream cake.

Women screamed and some fled the room in horror. And a few people pulled out cell phones and held them up capturing the man’s last stand. He offered the photographers a wiggle of his penis. Violet had more than enough of the show, but trapped in the corner, she couldn’t move.

“Come on, Melvin. Why are you doing this?” Ed said. “Get down from there.”

“They’re doing this to you, too. We’re too old, so they get rid of us. I’m not going to pasture quietly, and neither should you.” Melvin put his genitals away. “Don’t let them get away with this,” he said pointing at Ed.

“Please,” Ed implored. “You’re not helping anything.”

“Jump off this sinking ship now,” Melvin screamed as building security appeared in the doorway.

“Sir, please get down off the table and come with us,” the security guard said.

“Or you’ll what? Tackle me? I’m an old man,” Melvin countered.

“We can resolve this amicably with no one getting hurt, sir.”

---