Page 64 of A Second Chance

Their lips touched and control went out the window, and then she did the stupidest thing she’d ever done in her life: climbed into his lap. But in that moment, it didn’t feel stupid. He was a little older than her, a soldier, and getting ready to leave for another tour. And she found herself grinding against his very ready body and more turned on than she’d ever been. They were both breathing heavily and she could no longer tell whose tongue was whose. So she’d lifted slightly and sitting back down, he filled her and they both gasped.

That was a long time ago, she chided herself. Another lifetime ago and lesson learned, or had she been too hasty?

Twenty-Four

What was the big deal? Jason chided. It’s just a fucking room. Don’t give it any more power than that. He rolled his eyes at himself; yep, he really was a product of therapy at this point. The lot of good it did him, he was still scared of a bedroom and Gwen, and avoiding both. But he’d made progress – no longer suicidal, angry at the world, or had a volatile temper. And he no longer jumped when cars backfired, and it didn’t take him immediately back to the place where he opened his eyes, flat on his back in the desert sun while burning parts of the armored car and bits of his buddies were raining down. The crushing guilt of why his sorry ass lived when better men didn’t was no longer all-consuming. See, progress. Then there he was, pacing in the cold on his parents’ back patio.

“Did you bring boxes?” His mom stuck her head out the back door, bringing him out of his head.

“Yes, ma’am. They’re on the front porch.”

“Why are you back here?”

‘Cause pacing in the front yard brings gossip. But he shrugged. “Needed a minute.”

Her features softened and got the concerned expression that at one time would have pissed him off. He still didn’t like it, only because it meant he caused worry. “It’s time,” she said, softly.

“Please stop worrying.”

“Never going to happen.”

He sighed and entered the house, passing her, and through the kitchen, dining room, family room, front door. Bringing the boxes inside, he sat them at the foot of the stairs and looked up. The brown-carpeted staircase looked the same as that day down to the family photos lining the wall. Ones of him and Autumn throughout the years smiled down at him. Except there were new photos added; one of his sister, best friend, and their son posed in front of a blue backdrop and others of a smiling Danny. And another pang of regret hit him for what he did to her.

Knowledge of what Dan’s job in special forces had been and the smiling family man in the photo was a strange juxtaposition, but it hit like a ton of bricks. In theory, he could be happy and have a life like Dan, Weasel, Justin, and Ben. He’d witnessed his friends all in love and making relationships work with great people. Ben had been the star quarterback in high school – imagine the scandal when he came back after college with Brandon. Then they’d single-handedly brought an entire wedding industry to White Oak and kept it from becoming another statistic, so the town revered the two.

But the difference with him was his had a medical part to it, a brain injury and PTSD but the doctors said the scans showed healing. The emotional part turned out trickier than he’d thought. He needed to decompress, and he never felt better than on the Appalachian Trail hike. “Ma,” he called, “I’m going out for a minute, don’t worry. I’m coming back.” With that, he walked out and got in his truck.

At the trailhead, he parked and exited. The parking lot was quiet, only two others cars. The afternoon turned chilly as the days became shorter. A sign at the entrance read the park closed at sundown, and he wasn’t planning on taking long. He hit the trail and could breathe again. The thud of his feet against the trail floor soothed him; it was a familiar sound that he knew for months on end. By the time they’d reached the end, he was sick of it. But now, in the breeze, the tension released from his shoulders. Red, yellow and brown leaves carpeted the path beneath him and the ground surrounding the trees leaving their tops like sticks reaching to the sky. He turned off the main path onto a small, rustic but well-defined dirt path and found the stream right where he remembered. They used to come down here as teens, hanging out and screwing around without supervision. Climbing onto a rock, he sat with his legs hanging down and watched the water flow. The paths it took around rocks making its way without a care.

The phone in his back pocket buzzed; he figured it was Autumn or Dan threatening to kill him if he didn’t get his ass back to his parents’ house. But, when he checked, Gwen’s name appeared on the screen. He tapped the message.Can we talk?He considered this. What kind of conversation did she have in mind?

His thoughts drifted to Gwen and their time together, the parts he remembered, and in particular the night he slid under her skirt in the back of a car in the hospital parking lot. Her surprised yip and her movements and sounds as she tried not make any noise. He smiled then chastised himself about having those thoughts at a time like this. But, hell, it was better than anything else he’d thought today.

The truth was he wanted her and a normal life and why shouldn’t he have it? The problem being he’d lose Gwen to the facts of what he did to Autumn. There wasn’t a way of getting around telling her. Well only one way to find out. Just rip this band aid off in one fell swoop.Can you meet me at my parents’ house in an hour? I’m cleaning out my old room.

***

Gwen pulled into the driveway of the address he’d given her. Parking behind his truck, she noted several boxes in the bed. Why did she agree to come here? How could they have a conversation with a house full of his family? He’d invited her to dinner at his parents’ house after three weeks of radio silence.

He appeared on the front porch and it was too late to turn around and not look like a jerk. Descending the steps, he wore a long-sleeved, dark green thermal shirt that stretched over those shoulders and fell loose around the middle, well-worn, faded jeans that had seen better days, and several days’ worth of scruff. Her mouth watered and pulse kicked up a notch. Why was she so attracted to this man? Her hands shook as she turned the key in the ignition and slipped it into her purse.

Gwen opened the car door right before he reached her and stepped out. He stopped on the opposite side of the car door and they stared at each other, neither speaking. This was off to a fantastic start.

“Hey,” he finally said.

“Hey yourself.”

“I’m glad you came.” His dark brown eyes met hers and she tried to read what she saw in them- relief… trepidation… or a mix of warring emotions. Well, that they had in common at the moment.

“Why here?”

He held out his hand and she stared at it. She would not take it. Gwen shut the car door and with nothing between them but everything, her hand reached out and took his. The traitor. Their hands fit together and a zap went between them. But after the zing of sexual tension and awareness, something else settled as he led her toward the porch.

He felt like home.

Inside the front door, sat a small foyer, a carpeted staircase in front them and on the left was a family room. And there, an audience stared, Autumn and Dan she recognized, and two older people, who she assumed were his parents. He made a brief introduction. His mom came over and hugged her.

“Hi,” she squeaked out, not knowing what else to do.

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