Page 60 of A Second Chance

“It’s his to tell you.”

“That’s the problem,” Gwen snapped, it came out more aggressive than she’d intended. She took a deep breath and started again. “I asked him to tell me the truth about why he left.”

Autumn stiffened. “He had to go get treatment for his injuries.”

“Something happened… you’ve heard the rumors. I need him to tell me what happened. So, when people pity me, ask me if I’m sure, or tell me to stay away from him I’m aware of what I’m defending. It’s only fair for me to know exactly what I’m getting into.”

“He’ll confide in you, just give him time.” Gwen wondered if she’d defend Jason no matter what? And the answer was yes, she would, and Gwen understood she’d do the same for Avery.

“He wasn’t sure if he ever could. Then he left and hasn’t spoken to me since.”

“I think he will, if you just give him some time and understanding.”

“So, it’s not something unforgiveable, then?”

“No,” she shook her head. “It’s not. I didn’t know he hadn’t forgiven himself yet. You’d think a couple years of therapy would have straightened him out.”

“I guess some things take longer.”

“I’m sorry,” Autumn said.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“I did sorta engineer your date at the Harvest Festival. Didn’t know for sure if anything would come of it, but I assumed he was ready. He does like you, a lot. And you two are perfect together.” They sat in silence with those words stretching out between them and hanging in the air.

There wasn’t any doubt that he liked her and she liked him in return. But they both might be so royally damaged that it’d never work between them. She didn’t have a clue what a healthy relationship with a partner looked like. Is that what Avery had with Nick? But Avery refused move out of the house and live alone with Nick. Did that signal something wrong there? She thought it did, Gwen wasn’t sure.

Twenty-two

After another long, cold, rewarding day on Keplers’ farm, Jason warmed his bones in a hot shower. Then fell down on his new-to-him couch and pressed the remote on his new television. He slouched back lost in an episode of Sports Center with a carton of Chinese takeout in his hand when a knock came at his door. Not expecting any visitors, he had a brief flash of hope that it was Gwen. He surveyed his attire, a t-shirt, pajama pants, and socks. Not great, but it could be worse. Opening the door to his sister, he realized that he should grow a pair and call Gwen, and not only because Autumn stood there scowling at him.

She pushed past him through the door without preamble. “Come on in,” he quipped.

“Tell me,” she began, her voice shaky, “that you don’t still blame yourself for what happened with me.”

He shut the door and inhaled deeply, counting to ten before responding. “It’s called taking ownership. And where is this coming from?”

“I had lunch with Gwen today, and she said you haven’t spoken in two weeks.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, so?”

“So?” she looked incredulous. “So?”

Jason moved back to the couch and plopped down, picking up his carton. “Sometimes things just don’t work.” He forked in a mouthful of food.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She dropped her purse on the bar counter, shrugged off her jacket, and tossed it on the back of the chair. When he didn’t look up from the food, she continued. “You’d rather end it than talk to her about what happened?”

He sighed, shoving the fork into the remaining rice, sitting the carton on the coffee table. “We both know that as soon as she finds out I hurt you, she’ll never trust me again, and it’s the smart thing.”

“You didn’t hurt me. It was your injury causing it. Give her a little more credit at understanding that.” Autumn paced the area between the coffee table and the television.

Jason was grateful for her support, but her overall positivity and ability to explain everything away in neat, concise boxes made her seem non-human. “Autumn, she will understand that I snapped and shoved you into a wall. You were also pregnant. It caused pre-term labor. Those are the facts, even if I don’t recall the specifics.” The flashes gave him more than enough information to figure out he didn’t want to remember everything.

“She’ll understand. It’s been a long time, and you’ve done a lot of work to get well. I’ve never blamed you.”

“Come on Autumn, youhadto be angry at me. My insistence that nothing was wrong and refusal to get help nearly killed you and Danny. And you’ve never expressed a tiny bit of anything other than nice and understanding and making excuses for me. For God’s sake, blame me for what I did.”

“I did not make excuses for you,” she snapped. “I insisted that you go see that stupid doctor who did nothing but shove pills down your throat and they made you worse. If I’d just kept my mouth shut, you’d have never taken those pills…”

---