Page 50 of Cowboy Falling Hard

“I know I promised we’d take it slow, and I want to honor that promise, but...that’s the kind of relationship I want, too. One where we pay attention to it. Where it’s the most important relationship we have in our life. We don’t allow anything else to come before the other. Nothing other than God.”

“And I think that’s where God makes the relationship strong. You hear people saying you need to have three people in your relationship, each other and the Lord, and as you become a better Christian, more kind, more loving, more generous, less concerned about yourself, and more concerned about the people around you, you become a better spouse, a better mate, a better lover.”

The last words were a little whispered, just because she wasn’t trying to imply anything, just stating what she learned.

She appreciated that she could discuss things with him, and he could talk intelligently about them. He didn’t just appease her, mindlessly listen to her, and then try to turn the conversation back to sports or walk away, uninterested and uninvested. That’s what she’d been afraid of on their date. Part of it anyway.

“So much of life is all about that, isn’t it? Getting the focus off yourself and onto others. And yet, from the time we’re little all throughout our lives, pretty much the message we get every single day is that our focus should be on ourself.”

She put her hand up to cover his, nodding and not wanting him to drop it.

“I don’t see how a relationship could fail if both people are committed to putting their spouse first.” She bit her lip. “But that’s a scary thing. You can’t control the other person. I have a friend, Katie, who married her high school sweetheart. Everyone said they were too young, but Katie is the nicest person I know, and I couldn’t see how anyone could not love her completely. And yet, I’m not sure her husband’s faithful.”

“Ouch.”

“I know. She’s never caught him doing anything with anyone else, but she’s kind and doesn’t pry. And...he neglects her a lot.”

He didn’t say anything. What was there to say? She supposed she wasn’t really asking for a discussion, as much as she was just telling him something she was afraid of.

“He promised to be faithful. She believed him. You can’t make someone keep their word, and you really can’t know if they’re going to be the kind of man who does or who doesn’t.”

“Or woman.”

“Yeah. Or woman. People grow, they change. How do you know that the man you married, or the woman you married,” she added with a little smile, “is going to be someone who grows and changes in the right way? I mean, even preachers and pastors fall. There are no guarantees.”

“No. There aren’t. Maybe that’s why love is so scary. Because you’re taking such a big chance.”

“Yeah. You’re giving so much to somebody else, giving so much that’s valuable and delicate and tender, and you can’t be guaranteed they’re going to cherish and honor it and keep it protected like God commands them to.”

“You’re opening yourself to the possibility of a lot of hurt.”

“Yeah. Because the person that you’re with is now involved intricately in your life. Your hopes and plans and dreams. They become a part of you.”

“And when they play fast and loose with that, when they don’t honor their word, don’t put their spouse first, seek to serve themselves, and don’t care about the disaster that their family will become because of their selfishness and neglect, it hurts. For a lifetime.”

She wished she hadn’t thought of Katie. Her heart hurt every time she considered her friend. She had beautiful children, a nice house, and was well-liked in the community, but it was also well known that her husband was not a man who could be trusted. He caused her a lot of heartache over the years, even if he had been faithful, which Orchid couldn’t really say whether he had.

But looking at the man in front of her, there was a part of her that wanted to take a risk. That wanted to take his hand and walk further on. To trust him.

She closed the distance between them, lifting her hand and cupping his cheek as he did hers and lifting her face at the same time.

She hadn’t really planned on doing that, but he leaned closer as well, and maybe she would have kissed him if her phone hadn’t dinged with a text.

It startled them both, since the only sound had been the swish of the breeze through grass and the thumping of her own heart.

She jumped back, and his hand dropped, as did hers.

She fumbled for her phone, her breath uneven.

What was she doing? She was the one who had insisted that they had to stay just friends. And yet she was the one who had almost kissed him.

“Orchid, I—”

“It’s Sadie. I’m picking up the apples early tomorrow morning at the auction barn, and she wanted to let me know that she would be there at six. She’s getting one of their horses shod, and she was going to grab the apples on her way in.”

Sadie and Coleman lived right by the orchard, and she would grab the apples in the morning.

She shoved her phone in her pocket, not wanting to talk about what she had almost done. “Mrs. Brown is probably waiting on us, wondering where we’re off to.”

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