Page 32 of Heart of a Killer

Brie stands up, kicking her chair in, and pulls me to the door with a little more color in her face. As we walk the halls following the group outside, her pace quickens, and I don’t know what to make of the way she is acting.

Once outside, the crisp and cool air bites my skin, but the breath in my lungs is refreshing. It’s getting toward the end of winter in the south, but the staff has to give us time outside. It’s a rule they have, as it is a part of everyone’s healing.

Brie and I huddle up together for warmth while she smokes a cigarette. They only ever give time for her to finish one before they are herding us back in like cattle. I can tell Brie doesn’t want to talk about what happened earlier, but maybe she will come to see me tonight, and I can ease it out of her then.

We begin walking down the hall together side by side toward our rooms when I realize I’m alone. Looking back, I see Brie standing outside of another patient’s door and her face is pale.

“Brie, are you okay?” I ask. I retrace my steps and touch her arm, but she doesn’t move. She is locked, frozen in place. I look into the room she’s standing in front of and see Benji naked, thrusting into one of his hands while his other is splayed against the brick wall. His back is to us, so I ease the door shut and that seems to break Brie out of her trance.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” she admits, shaking her head. “That was hot, right?”

“Ummm, yeah sure.” Her reaction leaves me in a whiplash and my brow furrows.

She leaves me again, and I have to jog to catch up with her. Once we’ve made it to the part where we split off to our separate rooms, I whisper, “Will you come to see me later?”

“I’ll try, Sky.”

She gives me a quick hug before leaving and I’m left feeling exposed without her.

14

Brieanna

As I walk to my room, I can’t help thinking about what Leland said. I don’t know how he knows about my demons, but he almost gave me away to Skylar. I don’t want her to freak out any more than she already does. The black shadow only tortures me when I’m drowsy. If I can stay awake long enough, I’ll go to see her for a little bit. Skylar will be okay, and everything should be all right with us. She won’t worry about me anymore.

I remember something Amanda had said to me once as we lie in bed together. She was always good about keeping me awake and reminding me that the demons aren’t real. I still remember how her fingers traced my arm, sending chills down my spine.

Holdingmy head up with my hand, I look at Amanda as she stares at the ceiling with her silver-blue eyes glinting in the moonlight.

“Why do you have sex with him? Do you love him?”

Her lips part in a smile that I trace with my eyes. The pale pink color of them is now a deep red and swollen from the heavy kiss we shared.

“You know sex isn’t always about love, right?”

“Well, yeah, we use it as power too.”

She shakes her head at me, and her eyes become round and doleful as she does.

“You’re young. It’s okay. I hate that you think the only other use for sex is power.”

Then she props her head on her hand, similar to mine.

“Sometimes, it’s just because it feels good. Have you ever had sex just because it feels good?” Her fingers trace my bare arm, causing goosebumps to erupt in their path. “And not just for love or to wield over someone’s head.”

“No,” I admit, thinking back to the many times I’ve had sex. It’s always been for love or taken from me as a power trip.

“Well,” she says before wrapping her arms around me. “With him, it just feels good, and with you, it’s for love.”

“Why not both with me?”

“I don’t know, B.” She sighs, lies back down beside me, and closes her eyes.

I whisper in her ear, “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”

That makes her giggle. “Always so observant, you are,” she teases, tapping my temple. “Never lose who you are and never let anyone take your power away from you. And never ever stop loving with your whole heart, B.”

---