Page 14 of Heart of a Killer

After taking in the scene, a switch flips in my brain, clearing the fog from my mind. I pull Brie back up onto the ledge, into my arms, holding her tight against my chest. Her heart is racing against mine, and her chest heaves rapidly. Her breasts press against me, leaving a flutter low in my stomach. Her lavender and smoky scent engulf my senses. I inhale her deeply, my nose in her soft hair, committing it to memory. I’m not sure why her fear is turning me on right now.

5

Brieanna

I almost fucking died! My heart is ready to burst out of my chest from how fast it’s beating. Images of me lying face-up on the concrete with blood pooling all around me replay in my mind. Lost in my thoughts, I hear Leland inhale deeply and feel the pressure of his nose in my hair. I’m in his arms, pressed against his firm chest. The panic in me slowly evaporates and is replaced with longing. I want to stay in his arms like this forever.

I shake my head; I’m not thinking clearly. The fear of almost falling to my death has me clouded. My brain is trying to understand logically what just happened. I saw the change in him right before he gripped the back of my neck. It was as if a stone-cold killer replaced the funny, cocky Leland I thought I knew. He has demons that not even he knows about.

Pushing off his chest, I resort to my defenses of self-assured bitchiness. I use it as a shield against my feelings in the hopes that I can block out the emotions that threaten to tear me down.

“What the fuck was that for? Are you fucking insane? You could have killed me!”

I back off the roof’s ledge so he doesn’t try to do that shit again while I’m yelling at him. I don’t want him to know that I’m genuinely terrified of him at this moment. I’m not sure what ticked him off, but I don’t want to be near the edge if it happens again.

“I’m really sorry, Brie. That was the first flashback I’ve had since coming here. It just came over me with all this pent-up anger.” He flexes his fist and knits his eyebrows together in confusion. “It ... It consumed me.”

When he looks up at me again, his expression of fury and confusion dissipates. The sorrow in his eyes and frown lines on his forehead pull at my heart. I can’t help the sympathy that comes over me. I know he must have a really fucked-up past with that eye and scar on his face. I’ve tamped down feelings for him for weeks now because he hates all the chase he gets from the staff nurses. He’s told me so himself.

He hops off the ledge and strides toward me. When he reaches out to tuck a loose strand behind my ear, I can’t help the instinctive flinch at his touch. I’m still scared, and I hate that he saw that. I bite the inside of my lip to keep from running away. His hand cups my cheek, and his thumb’s rough pad brushes along my lip, tugging it down, effectively releasing my hold on it. There’s a spark of warmth at his touch, and his thumb releases my lip with a pop. Leaning into the touch of his palm, I get lost in the black depths of his broken iris. I see the fractured boy under the pools of darkness burrowed deep within his soul.

He leans into my ear, and his deep voice whispers, “Why do you do that, Brie? Why do you lock down your feelings for me?”

“I don’t know what you...”

Before I can finish, he nips my earlobe, sending a low thrum down into my core. Warmth spreads to my cheeks.

“You smell good, Brie.”

Sexual hunger and craving for someone else’s touch are my weaknesses. I never wanted those things to follow me here, but old habits die hard. As I squeeze my thighs together, his breath fans my neck.

“Don’t let this one end up like Amanda, okay?”

His soft lips brush along my jawline before he walks away.

Only when he leaves does my head clear, and the lust that had coursed through my veins turns to ice. What did he just say? There’s no way he could know. Breathe, Brie. Breathe.

I crash to my knees on the rocky surface of the roof. I feel the small rocks dig into me. The pain, I need the pain. My chest is heaving, trying to draw in air. Gravel crunches as he walks away, leaving me on my knees. I can’t breathe. The world feels like it’s coming down on me. My chest feels heavy, and I can’t move. Everything feels hard to do. His words are a punch to the gut.How does he know?

Leland is gone, and I’m left lying curled in on myself. I need the pain to escape the hell my mind just went to. I grip the pebbles tightly. They send sharp pinpricks into the sensitive flesh of my palms, and my breathing becomes more manageable. The sounds from the city below return. I didn’t notice they were gone until they returned—a comfort I didn’t know I needed.

Picking myself up off the rooftop, I feel like I’m back to myself again and can think clearly. The thought never leaves me, though. How does Leland know about Amanda? Does he also know I’m the reason she’s dead?

6

Leland

Standing in line for the cafe, I see Brie and Skylar ahead. Skylar looks a little worse for wear and tired, but Brie makes her smile. They are bantering back and forth. A warm sensation fills my chest, and before I know it, I’m smiling at them. They can’t see me, which is good. I don’t want them to know how I feel about them. I’m attracted to each in different ways, and I don’t want to ruin the friendship we’ve sort of created here. Without them, I would be alone.

They make it to the front of the line and are grabbing breakfast when I see Skylar reach for the last processed food set out. That old, wicked bitch turns around to hiss at her. My fists clench in response, and I must flex my fingers before losing it on that old lady today. She’s not worth my time. Skylar brings out these emotions in me that I haven’t felt since being here. I have a strong urge to protect her.

Making it to the front of the breakfast line, I grab a bowl of the runny oatmeal. My stomach growls as if it’s ready to eat me from the inside out, and there’s a slight pain ebbing. The porridge is not my favorite food here; it’s quite bland. Still, I’ll shovel anything in my mouth to release this ache forming within.

On my way to where the girls have taken residence at our usual table, I pass by Sam, who is singing. “...get caught. Three knives in your back / your blood runs cold, cold, cold. Three rats down your back...”

Every other day it seems as if they repeat those same lines over and over, or maybe it’s just that I always catch them in that part of their song.

When I make it to our table, Skylar looks down at the soupy bowl of oatmeal with a look of despair. I wish this place catered more to what the patients wanted to eat. Maybe they wouldn’t have to force-feed some with tubes in the middle of the night. Then I notice Brie passing Skylar one of her Pop-Tarts. Her face lights up, and a redness forms on her cheeks as she gives Brie a shy smile. The tightness in my arms escapes, and the tension in my shoulders relaxes. At least Brie is kind-hearted and looks after her. Skylar is too timid and doesn’t stick up for herself enough. It’s probably a reason I have this urge to protect her, but there is this other sense of something concealed deep in my heart for her. I haven’t figured that part out yet, and Skylar barely wants to be around me. I wonder if she had some trauma in her past with men. It makes it hard to figure out those feelings I have for her.

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