Page 64 of Knot All Is Lost: Part 2

“If no one’s going in for seconds, can I take the last of the pasta?” Savo asked. “That sauce is fucking good.”

Bodhi whipped out a hand and pointed at the large Alpha. “What did I tell you? Now you understand why we were all acting that way. Just you wait, the next time he makes the sauce you’ll be begging and drooling right alongside us.”

Savo flipped him off and grabbed the bowl, dumping the last mound of pasta onto his plate. “It’s a damn good thing you don’t make this often, I’d get fat in a heartbeat.”

We all laughed, easing the tension once more as we chatted about various things while we finished our meal and cleaned up.

Chapter 28

Thekitchenwasclean,Cambi was with Rafael looking at options for her GED, and the others were helping Savo get his room set up. I knew Oscar had gone out to his studio and I was just finding reasons why I shouldn’t go out there and speak with him.

Groaning, I ran my hands through my hair trying not to second guess everything that’d happened so far. The other night when he’d marked Cambi and didn’t even spare a questioning glance at me, my heart sank.Did he really want me? Was this just lusting after each other? Fuck, I feel like an idiot for even questioning any of this.

“Man up and go talk to him,” I muttered to myself. “He said he wasn’t going to do anything until we talked, so just fucking do it.”

Balling my hands, I took a deep breath and charged out the kitchen door. Bursting into his studio, I startled him to the point he almost fell off his stool and nearly dropped the guitar he was holding.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I apologized as I grabbed him making sure he didn’t fall. “I just got all up in my head and wasn’t really thinking.”

Oscar set down the instrument and twisted to face me. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, it’s all fucking perfect, and it’s freaking me the fuck out. I don’t do happy ever after Oscar. I’m not built that way, and right now I feel like I’m in a fucking fairy tale.” I reached out and grasped his shoulders. “Tell me this isn’t just a fling, you and I, because if it is, I’m not sure I can do that. Everything about this scares the shit out of me, because I want it so badly. I’m in love with you, Oscar. If losing Cambrie told me anything, it’s that this pack and all of you mean so much to me, and I can’t fucking lose it. No matter how many times I tried to be a prick to you, chase you away, or do things to make you abandon me, you didn’t. I—”

Oscar surged to his feet, grabbed my face, and pulled me into a kiss that felt like he was sucking all the air out of my lungs, only to breathe life back into me. I clung to him, desperate to believe this was part of the happiness Rafael always talked about. He used to tell me that I ran from anything that made me happy because anything could be taken from me, so better to have nothing to lose than lose it all.

He pulled back, breaking the kiss but didn’t let me go as he urged me to sit on the couch in the studio. Countless days and nights I had slept on this thing, watching Oscar as he worked, just wanting to be in his space. Now here he was holding me, kissing me, and it was terrifying in the best way possible. Once seated, he knelt before me so there was nothing I could do but look into his face.

“Bodhi, I need you to take a deep breath for me. If you keep going as you are you’re going to hyperventilate and we’ll get nowhere,” Oscar instructed, his face firm in his order.

As slowly as I could, I took a shuddering deep breath and held it for a moment then let it out once more. He signed for me to do it again, so I did it three more times until he was satisfied. Something about having Cambrie around had brought out the Alpha side of Oscar and it was hot as fuck. The combination of the caring man who would give you the shirt off his back and mixing it with the commanding presence I was now facing got me hard as steel.

“Good, now let’s start this conversation over. I can see it’s clearly been weighing on your mind and I’m sorry I didn’t carve out the time sooner to have this talk with you. That was unkind of me,” Oscar apologized, making me open my mouth to argue but he cut me off with a look. “This is not a dream or a passing fancy on my part. I too am in love with you, Bodhi, I don’t know when or how it happened, but there came a moment when I couldn’t picture my life without you. When I risked it all during her heat I wasn’t sure how you would respond, but when you did with just as much enthusiasm, it was one of the happiest moments of my life.”

“You mean that?” I questioned.

He frowned at me. “When have I ever lied to you? If I won't lie to you about your piano skills, what makes you think I’d lie to you about something vastly more important?”

“That was a dick move by the way, but I see your point,” I said as I rubbed the back of my neck. “Why… the other night. With Cambrie… you… did you… God why can’t I fucking spit this out?” I growled in frustration.

Oscar grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him as he searched my face. I knew I couldn’t hide my thoughts from him, and he’d see my insecurities written all over my face. Everything about this was new and yet it’s almost like we’d been together forever as our friendship turned into something more. He knew my flaws just as I knew his, yet somehow we still fucking liked each other enough to risk it all.

“You want to know why I didn’t bond with you as well when I marked Cambrie?” Oscar stated. I nodded and held my breath as I waited for his reasoning. “It would have been wrong for me to claim you when I haven’t even asked you if that’s what you want. Bodhi, you and I have been swept up in this amazing whirlwind and I don’t regret a second of it, but I had no way of knowing if you felt the same way. Once you’re bonded to someone that’s it, and I wasn’t going to do that until we talked. You mean far too much to me to find out later you never wanted to be bonded and then have you hate me.”

I let out a huff of laughter. “I don’t think anyone could hate you. Hell, I tried to hate you so I wouldn’t like you, and I clearly failed epically at that.”

“Yes well, I think that worked out well for both of us now, didn’t it?” Oscar pointed out. “So, is this the point where I ask you if you would do me the honor of being my bonded Beta?”

“You’re making it sound like a marriage proposal,” I countered with a frown.

“Isn’t it? I’m asking you to share your life with me, to form a connection that shares our innermost feelings. Personally, I would say that it's even more serious than a marriage proposal,” Oscar reasoned. “The question is, do you want to be with me, with us, for the rest of your life or do you want the freedom to leave at some point?”

My jaw dropped as he asked me that. “Why would I want to leave you or the others? We’re a family, even more so now with Cambrie here. This pack and you have saved my life, I don’t know who I would have become if not for all of you.” I cupped Oscar’s face and leaned my forehead against his. “Also, I’m pretty sure I already told you that I couldn’t see my life without you in it. One way to make sure that never fucking happens is to be bonded to you. So yeah, this would be the time to ask me that question, and my answer is hell fucking yes, I want to beyourBeta.”

Oscar pounced on me, forcing me back onto the couch as he crawled on top of me. He leaned in and put his lips to my ear and whispered. “You’re mine forever, Bodhi.”

Without warning, Oscar bit into the skin of my neck making me cry out in pain, but it quickly changed to pleasure as the bond snapped into place. Each flick of his tongue over the mark had me panting and squirming as if he was licking up my shaft instead of my neck. It was torturous, like I knew I could come just from this but was brought right to the brink then stopped.

“Please Alpha, I need you,” I begged, my hands fisting the back of his shirt as I rubbed my jean covered cock on his leg. “I need you to fuck me like the Beta I am, pleading for his Alpha’s cock.”

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