Page 81 of Finding Her Panthers

“Yes, you do,” I whisper, dropping into sleep, knowing the dreams I find there will be of my mates and the life I was made for.

***

I was attacked the minute I came in through the door the other night with Blue. I had Jax and James worked up, and they took me on the floor. It was hot and dirty. All the more because Blue watched it all from the kitchen table. Since then, they’ve kept me occupied, finally taking time to spend time together, in bed and out. Playing in panther form in the woods, sharing the things we want for the future, even going back to the club. I met more of the pack too. They probably thought I was crazy. The realization hit me hard. I had a real family now. They were mine. I broke down mid-drink, crying into Jax’s chest. They made excuses for me, bundled me home, and proceeded to reassure me that this was my life now, in the best kind of way.

I reached out to my brother. It’s weird calling him that. We’ve talked on the phone a few times, tentatively building a relationship. We avoid speaking about the past, but instead, start fresh. We planned to meet tomorrow, deciding to share a meal and go from there. I’m hopeful we can have something special. It will take time, and we’re in the awkward stage right now. But I’m curious about his life and the pack he leads. The betrayal and death of the man he’s trusted and thought was his family for so many years is jarring and painful. Kerian stops himself constantly bringing up his name when he’s telling me a story. He gets quiet and sad. I ignore it and move on, helping him the only way I know how. The guys let it slip that he’s been getting into fights, his temper on a short fuse. I fear he’ll hurt someone without meaning to if he doesn’t talk about his pain. I may have to be that person, even though I would rather never repeat the man's name.

Ryker came for a visit yesterday, which is odd. He claimed he wanted to check on me after my ordeal. He strolled into the house like the king he is, dark and dangerous as ever. I can’t help staring at his beauty in awe. James watched me, humor dancing in his eyes. He playfully wiped his thumb across my lips, saying I had drool dripping down them.

Ryker seemed to be taking his role as my friend seriously. He asked questions about my life, even though he probably could find out everything there was to know. He was charming and sweet to me. The guys kicked him out when they thought he had enough time bonding with me—Ryker’s words, not theirs.

Penny is on her way to recovering. Her positive outlook on life has dimmed slightly, but for the most part, she’s bounced back quickly. She now has a permanent room with the pack. The guys have gotten to know her more, treating her like a little sister. I insisted she talk to a therapist. Jax knew one that was in the know about our world. She’s making progress, the clouds in her eyes dissipating slowly.

I got a call from my old job. They have been having a hard time filling my position and offered my job back. My mates assured me they would support whatever decision I made. I could go back, find something new or not work at all. So I decided to take some time to think about what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a program to help foster kids or any others that have been exposed to abuse of any kind. Blue walked in when I was looking at a large house in the area I thought could be a base of operations. I confessed all to him. I want to name it Cindy’s House. Even though she caused so much sorrow and pain, she was the result of her environment. Blue left it up to me, simply told me once I decided, they would buy it. No questions asked.

This morning I decided it was my turn to cook for them. So here I was in this fantastic house, in my dream kitchen, making food for my three mates. I never knew how much I would enjoy this. Look at me, all domesticated and shit.

As I’m taking the last omelet from the pan, Jax comes in. I grin at him, drinking in the sight he makes—all sleepy and disheveled.

“She cooks.” He goes immediately to the coffee pot, kissing me on the way by.

“I do. My mates have kept me busy lately, or else I would have done it before now.” I set everything out on the table.

“Are you complaining?” He smirks and slaps my ass before taking a seat.

“That would be no.” I get my coffee and pour two more cups when I see James and Blue following their nose to the table.

A soft smile plays on my lips, ignoring the food in front of me. I take a mental picture to remember this moment. I went in search of my mate, never intending to find them. All of them had a piece that had been missing. Each of them is so different, yet they make me whole. That baby left on the church steps, alone and scared, set out on a path of self-discovery. I will forever be grateful to be blessed with them. Every step of the way, every decision and choice led me to my fate. Led me to my mates. Led me to finding my panthers.

“Baby girl?” Jax pulls me out of my head.

“Sorry?”

“We were talking about our plans for the day.” He smiles at me.

“What did you have in mind?” I look at each of them, catching the wicked look in their eyes.

Jax pushes back his chair to lean over me, caging me in. “Are you ready for your punishment?”

My panther flares in my eyes. “Do your worst,” I challenge, pushing him back. I race for the stairs, eager for the chase, ready for my panthers to catch me.

Epilogue

Ryker

It’s ridiculously easy for a vampire to break into a prison. To mind fuck the guards and walk in the shadows. No one knew that a predator lurked among them, least of all the sack of shit sleeping peacefully in the bottom bunk. I made sure his cellmate would not startle awake before doing what it was my pleasure to do.

Mickey Wilkes had crimes to pay for, and being safe and sound tucked away in this prison was not harsh enough. I learned of the many evil deeds that covered this man's life.

Things that I couldn’t let go of.

I cut off his scream with my hand on his throat, pressing him into the wall. His eyes bulge when the sleep falls from them. His feet kick in the air while red infuses his face.

“You know, I don’t have many friends,” I start conversationally. “You would think being alive as long as I have, I would have thousands. Recently I have learned that I should make more of an effort. Being a friend means I should take a more active role, helping them when I can. So when I was made aware of the nasty things you put my friend through, not to mention so many other defenseless children, I made a decision. I decided to put my skill to use for good.”

His confused gurgles are music to my ears.

“Harmony would never give me permission to see you or ask me to do her this favor. But I like her. I mostly like her mates. So here we are, I’m going to end your useless life with the indifference you used with your victims.” I pull the knife from my belt, slashing it swiftly into his soft stomach, over and over again. Blood covers my gloves. I take pleasure in the life draining from his eyes. He’ll never hurt anyone again. I throw him to the floor, with one last look, I slip out as easy as I came in.

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