Page 21 of Finding Her Panthers

“Did she leave with anyone?” James asks.

“Honestly, we weren’t paying attention. After we shot her down, she avoided us, went after the willing.”

“But you would recognize her if you saw her again?” I ask.

“For sure. Cindy is not someone you would forget. She has the body any man would want but the bitchiness and desperation any sober man would avoid.” He snorts, sharing a look with his friend.

“If they come across her again, be sure we will let you know.” Kerian stands up. “I wish you luck. We would like to be allies. It’s so much better than fighting amongst our kind. I’m trying to build something better than the old Alpha.”

I clasp him on the shoulder. “I admire that. I agree. We would appreciate a call if you hear anything.”

He nods but pauses, taking a breath before shaking his head leaving the building. I stare at the closed door, confused at his behavior.

At least this meeting accomplished something. Kerian will be an asset to us.

“All I could smell was the truth. He means what he said.” I look back at my brothers.

“I agree. Still, it hadn’t gotten us any further before we came.” James frowns.

“We know we can count on him in a fight.” Blue always did see the whole picture.

“Let’s get back. Our mate needs us close. As much as she denies it,” I say, grinning.

Chapter Seven

Harmony

“I. Am. Fine.” Penny says firmly. “You have been in my room for half an hour now, and all you want to discuss is my well-being. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you love me so much but come on! You have to fill me in with all the juicy stories about the hot men that are your mates,” she demands, punching the bed we are sitting on.

She’s right. I have been avoiding the topic of my mates. I’ve been blaming it on my worry for her, plus my annoyance over the pushy way they sent me away. I do love that they are protective. I get it. I really do. But for so many years, I didn’t need someone to protect me. For years I would huddle under a bridge, or on the lucky nights, I was able to sneak into a shelter and wish for someone, anyone, to sweep me away. Someone to fight all the monsters for me. Praying for someone in this crappy world to give a shit about me. About where I would sleep that night and what I would eat. Would I get a shower? Find a blanket so I wouldn’t freeze.

Now I have these three men—even though Blue is more reserved about it all—they would protect me, kill for me, I’m sure. What’s wrong with me? Shouldn’t I be reveling in it?

“I’m just annoyed,” I huff.

“With them?”

“Yes, no, I don’t know. With myself too.”

“That makes everything clear,” she says sarcastically.

“Ugh,” I throw myself dramatically back onto the bed. “They want to protect me. I understand. But it also is annoying that they don’t think I can look after myself. Yet, they want to give me everything I always hoped for. Why can’t I be thrilled with that?” I look over at her in defeat.

“Wow. Alright. Have you guys slept together?” she asks. I glare at her. “That’s a no. You would be in a much better mood.”

“My thoughts are just all over the place. I want to be close to them. One minute I’m glad they haven’t pushed. We all want that. The next minute I wonder why they haven’t thrown me down and fucked me,” I growl.

“So, you are overthinking. This was meant to be. Like the universe or the creator or whatever, destined you four to be together. Your body is telling you, ‘hello, let them bang your girly bits,’ but you, ever the pessimist, are saying no. Maybe it won’t last. The feminist inside is screaming that you don’t need a man, but the little girl that was thrown away is screaming at you to give in.” She lays it out.

“Well, yeah.”

She reaches into my head, sorts through all my jumbled thoughts, and puts them in order.

“That’s what’s wrong with some women. They think it’s weak to let a man take care of her. It’s not. Be strong. There’s nothing wrong with that but finding a man or men to take a little off your plate is not bad. Being protective and a provider is way different than being a doormat or being in an abusive situation. No one denies you are a strong woman. You definitely are. But let them care for you. You can protect each other,” she finishes softly.

“Logically, I know this. Why am I so conflicted?” I ask a little desperately.

“Do you remember when you first came to live with us?” she asks, lying down beside me, propping her head on her hand.

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