Page 10 of Finding Her Panthers

“Sleep well, sweetheart,” he says, giving me a wicked look as he walks backward out the door.

“Night,” I mumble. It took me too long to get the word out; he probably barely heard me. “Get it together.” I attempt to shake it off.

I walk into the bathroom and sigh at the shower that’s big enough for all four of us. Shaking my head at the naughty thoughts shooting into my head, I strip and step into the shower. My energy is coming back. I guess finding my mates and a good meal was just what I needed. The pain has gone away mostly. I still have that slight burning in my chest and light cramping. But just being this close to them, smelling them around me, has helped. I still crave to be closer to them, and the heat is still there, just on a slow boil instead of a rolling one. My dreams will be filled with naked bodies. James gave me an excellent reference to go off of. I imagine it’s their hands running over my body instead of mine, sweeping over my breasts, cleaning the sweat of the day off.

Man, this is not good. Snapping out of it, I quickly rinse off and shut off the shower. Reaching for the towel, I try to give myself a lecture. No more touching myself. It just frustrates me, as I’ve proven to myself numerous times in the past. Now that I am here and hopefully not going anywhere, there will be a time that all my needs will be satisfied.

I find a brush in one of the drawers and an extra toothbrush to use before pulling back the covers and crawling into the softest bed I have ever had the pleasure of sleeping in. Closing my eyes, I force my brain to stop working overtime over all the events of the day. Was that just one day? Is Blue that unhappy with me being here? That was the last thought I had before falling asleep.

Chapter Four

James

I let out a groan as I sat on the edge of my bed, holding my head in my hands. That was pure torture. My body is burning from the need of my mate. Being that close to her is part pleasure, part pain. She smells so good, and all I want to do is bury myself deep inside of her and mark her as my mate. I should be sleeping beside her. She wanted to ask me, and I was torn between doing what my body craved and doing the right thing for her. I had to ignore my animal instincts. There is no way I can sleep right now as I listen to the shower running in her room. Picturing her naked is not helping.

She’s so beautiful it almost hurts to look at her. Even if she weren’t my mate, I would be attracted to her. That hair, so long and thick, gives a man thoughts of fisting it. The curves of her body tempt me to dive right in and caress, lick, and suck. If it’s this hard to resist now after just one day, I can’t imagine what a week or a month would be like.

How long can we go before we snap?

I grab some shorts from my dresser, throw them on, and slip quietly from my room. Hoping an hour of punching the shit out of the bag will calm me, I go down to the gym.

I saw the surprise on her face at my actions. That kiss. She doesn’t realize—or she ignores— that we can smell her heat. We all are very aware of how turned on she has been since she stepped in front of us. It's not easy to ignore it, to walk away from her without acting on what we all want and need. It was a selfish move to kiss her like that, to show a little of what I could give her. I tried to change her perception of me just a little.

As I grab a set of boxing gloves, I move in front of the bag, wanting to set a mindless pace to work off the aggression working through my body.

Everyone has consistently underestimated me. They have taken my jokes for weakness. That couldn't be farther from the truth.

As kids, the three of us were always close, as brothers should be. But Jax and Blue had such strong personalities, always butted heads, arguing and fighting about any little thing. I decided to take the role of a peacekeeper of the group. Being a comedian, I found telling jokes was easier than watching them fight. I tried it out. Whenever they went at it, I would find something to make fun of, distracting them enough to cool down. Usually, it was at my expense, but it was worth it. So began my place in our family.

Does this mean I have any fewer feelings? No. If anything, I have more. I just shove them deep down to think on later or channel it into something else, like working out, getting a meaningful tattoo, or any crazy idea that crosses my mind. Most think I am careless and reckless. They have no idea the lengths I go to to keep it all together. How much my mind runs through every possibility and consequence.

If I confessed to Jax or even Blue, they would listen and do anything to help me work through it. Now is not the time to hash it all out. We have a mate now. We have a responsibility to take care of her and protect the pack as a whole from those that I have no doubt will come after us all. Having a black panther, a female, will bring everyone’s attention to us, and not all of it will be good.

Even though I have my brothers, parents, and pack, I have been so alone. We share everything, and don’t get me wrong, I love it. But in a weird way, having Harmony will give me something all my own. Our relationship will be just that, ours. The three of us are so different that it will be like we have three different mates. I look forward to having those quiet moments with her. Some think I’m an adrenaline junkie. They would never guess the things I long to do.

With sweat dripping down my face, I turn to see Jax standing in the doorway. Not many people see him as he is now, casual in just a pair of sweatpants. Heavy is the crown for my older brother.

“Can’t sleep?” I ask.

“No. Just knowing she is right next door won’t allow it.” He rubs the back of his head and gestures to the bag. “You too, it seems.” He moves to sit on a weight bench.

I nod. “I decided to work it off until I couldn’t stand up anymore. I can just pass out then.” I chuckle and choose to ignore his knowing look. Jax has always seen too much and communicated without saying a word. “It will get better, brother.”

“This, I have no doubt.” He lets out a deep sigh. “It’s going to get worse before it gets better, though. We have to be prepared. It would help if we could just mate her fully now, but I know she’s not there yet. It would make most of them back off, the weak and respectful at least.”

I nod as I sit on the floor in front of him. “What are we going to do about Blue?”

“We are going to let him work through it,” he simply says.

“He’s going to push her away,” I say, fearful.

“When he does, we will be there to bring her back. And you will be there to knock some sense into him. Which I’m sure you will enjoy,” he says.

“You have no reservations about any of it, do you?” I question. It gets a little annoying how calm he can be at times.

“None at all. She is made for us, and us for her.”

“You really think he will get his shit together?” I push further.

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