Page 66 of Bits and Pieces

Rosemary pulls up a photo of Silas on her phone. He’s standing with Armor and Goose. They’re overly serious in the picture, maybe plotting important biker stuff. Or having a frowning contest. I noticed Armor never smiled yesterday. Ruin did, but mostly when he was taunting Silas or talking to his woman.

In the picture, hanging from Silas’s Steel Berserkers Motorcycle Club vest is a set of tiny blue booties.

Rosemary leans closer and whispers, “I never figured Nomad would be any good as a husband or father. When I first met him, I thought he was like the sun, burning with a hot rage day and night. But he built this house for the kid. Woodrow would come out here and help. They’d work late into the night since Nomad wanted to finish before the baby was born.”

Blair asks, “What happened to Michael?”

I expect Rosemary to edit herself for the child’s sake, but she blurts out, “Kati was cheating on Nomad. I can’t imagine how suicidal a woman would need to be to run around on a man like him, but Kati had a guy on the side. When the baby was born, that other man showed up at the hospital to claim the kid. A blood test later, Nomad was no longer a father. His wife, her man, and Baby Steven moved to Arizona. We closed up the nursery after that.”

Blair stares at Rosemary, likely not getting all the facts straight. She does glance back at the hallway leading to most of the bedrooms.

“Was he sad?”

“Yes. He really wanted another piece of himself in the world. Afterward, he spent all his time riding his motorcycle, building stuff in his workshop, or wandering around in the woods. Once he saw your mom, he got his head on straight,” she says and smiles. “He’s been so calm since then.”

Assuming “calm” is in the eyes of the beholder, I ask which room belonged to the baby. Blair walks with me down the hall, past where her siblings sleep, and to the abandoned nursery.

Inside, we find a crib, changing table, and dresser. Blair opens up the closet and drawers.

“There’s nothing inside.”

“She probably took the baby’s stuff with her.”

“Do you think Silas wishes Brigitte was a boy?”

“Probably,” I say, stroking my belly as I imagine the letters once over this crib. “Maybe we can change her name to Michelle.”

Blair walks over and forces me to see her frowning face. “You pick the names. That’s what you told me. Picking our names is one of the only things you control.”

“I say things, Blair. I shouldn’t share so much with you. I’m like my own mom that way, filling your head with too much grown-up crap.”

“No, you hide plenty from me. But the baby thing is yours. You said that after Grandpa Jakob tried to bully you into changing Beckett’s name.”

“You remember that?”

Blair nods and rubs my belly. “I helped you pick Brigitte’s name. Beckett’s, too.”

“We won’t change the name. Silas probably doesn’t want a reminder of his pain anyway.”

“Is this your last baby?”

“I hoped so,” I say and look over the room meant for a child Silas loved and lost. “I miss sleeping on my stomach and not walking around bloated. But you heard what Rosemary said. Silas lost the chance at another piece of him in the world. Despite how he talks about being a father to you guys, I’m sure he wants a child of his own.”

“He’s been nice to us. I think giving him a baby and new booties would make him happy. But babies are hard.”

“Yes, but look at how much help I have now. I bet it’ll be no effort at all.”

Smiling at my bullshit, Blair looks around the pale blue room. “Are we going to paint in here for Brigitte or give her another room?”

“I don’t know. Silas didn’t decorate the nursery like he did with your rooms. I’m not sure what he wants, but I always liked blue.”

“My room has blue on the walls and blankets. It’s not only a boy’s color. We shouldn’t paint it.”

Running my fingers through her soft hair, I ask, “Are you excited about your new bike?”

Blair’s gaze loses its sharpness as she disappears into her head. I stroke her chin and bring her back to me.

“I know you’re lonely. We’ll find new friends for you soon. At school or in an after-school activity. I’ll drive you wherever you need to go.”

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