Page 33 of Dancing with a Ghost

"I won't be long, but I understand if you need to go home."

This was the hardest thing I'd done lately, leaving Toby. We'd rarely been apart since I appeared to him a month ago and he'd become everything to me.

With his back to me, he grabbed his shoes, keys, and phone, getting ready to leave.

I was naïve when it came to social niceties. I had no idea what I'd done wrong, but Toby was feeling rejected. That was coming through our link loud and clear.

"See yourself out. I'll be around later, I would imagine. We can catch up then if you're able." I didn't know what to say to him and when he bent down to kiss my cheek, it was impersonal, like you would a friend. This wasn't how I envisaged this conversation going. I thought he'd be okay with it.

He closed the door, locking it as he left and I felt his emotions as he walked away, anger, disappointment and sorrow flooding his body. I'd really made a mess of it this time. In my defence, I didn't know what to say or not say. My social skills were limited to talking with my sisters or a bunch of guys that were thinking of their mortality. Nothing could have prepared me for Toby, how my feelings for a man could be so overwhelming.

I took one last look around the room and left, finding solace in the gardens. By now, the leaves had fallen, creating a multicoloured carpet of red, orange and brown. It reminded me of my last days, gazing out of the window, happy to still be alive when so many had perished.

And then everything had changed, and I was stuck here, with no clue on how to leave this place I was in.

My ability to sense Toby lessened the further away from the hotel he got. I felt lost, the energy that fed me, Toby's energy, faded and waned, leaving me as weak as a kitten. I stumbled, leaning against a tree for support. This wasn't supposed to happen yet. I should have more time. I looked at the hand resting on the tree trunk, watching as the rough bark showed through it.

By now, all sense of Toby had disappeared, all trace of him gone. I'd never felt so empty and alone, not in all the years I'd wandered these grounds. Meeting him had been the best thing to happen. I wouldn't feel sorry for myself, if this was the end, I'd feel nothing more. Toby on the other hand, would hopefully mourn my loss.

I thought about my sisters and brother, the extended family I'd never get to know. Toby had promised we could look for them once this curse was done, that we'd at least find them even if we didn't contact them. I could find out what lives they'd led, that would have at least made me happy.

This couldn't be the end, though, surely. Toby leaving me shouldn't have this effect on me, not yet. We had months. Hours and days of being together. This wasn't right.

Long forgotten words sprung to mind, that elusive missing piece, and now I understood.

"Find your kindred soul, and they will set you free. Find the one that fills you with joy and a love unrivalled. Find the one that declares love unconditionally. They will be the one to set you free."

Now I understood. The words I'd been missing. The key to this mystery.

I just needed to find someone to love, one that would love me in return.

There was no doubt in my mind that the person was Toby. I just hoped I was that person for him too.

I'm not sure how long I sat with this knowledge, with the answer to everything, but as day turned to night, and night turned to day, Toby was nowhere to be found.

I'd failed us both and now we'd never know. A faint stirring in my chest was all I felt before I faded from consciousness, the molecules of my body floating away into the ether.

We were too late.

Chapter Fifteen

Toby

Ididn'tknowwhatto feel when Matty said he needed to be alone. Was it something I'd said? Something I hadn't said? I knew he'd been hiding things from me. Where before, I'd been able to sense everything, I could feel the wall as it built between us and as much as I tried to stay happy, to keep him happy, I found myself doubting what we had.

Was it enough? I wasn’t sure. Everything had happened so quickly, but it’d never felt rushed. We’d taken the past month to get to know each other, to experience each other in a bubble-like state. The fact that Matty was tied to this place meant we were unable to do the things that normal couples did. There were no trips to the cinema, no meals out and we certainly couldn’t go out dancing.

Yes, we’d taken to the floor in the ballroom now and again, danced to our favourite tunes and while Matty had two left feet, he was getting better. Improving every day.

Again I had to ask myself if it was enough. Once the curse was lifted, would we still be the same? Could we be the same?

There’d be so much for him to see, so many new places to visit and people to meet. Would I be enough?

I decided to spend the rest of the weekend at home, in my own space.

I threw open the windows and the French doors in my bedroom leading to the Juliet balcony. It was one of the reasons I bought the place. Still no Romeo to serenade me from below, though, and damn if that thought didn’t remind me of Matty again.

He could be the Romeo to my Juliet any day.

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