Page 21 of Dancing with a Ghost

“Oh, it’s not always been accepted. There are still some bigots out there that want to rain on our rainbow parade, but lots of things have happened over the years. Some good, some not so good, but it has led us to where we are today where loving someone of the same sex is no longer seen as a sin. Well, by most people anyway. Love is love, Matthias, always will be.”

“Does your family know?” I asked. I couldn’t imagine my family being happy with it.

“Georgie, that’s my sister, she knows, but my parents don’t. Never felt the need to tell them really. I suppose at some point I’ll have to say something, if only to stop mother trying to set me up with every eligible woman that comes through the hotel.”

“What’s it like?” I was finding it hard to put my thoughts into words. I was still feeling some shame, this being open about such things was difficult for me.

“Being with a man? Did you never do that?”

“I never did anything. I was never brave enough, always fearful of what would happen if someone found out.”

“How about I show you? Nothing you’re not comfortable with but this is okay, right?” He squeezed my hand. It was warm and soft, not at all like mine, dead or not. “Would you like me to kiss you?”

That might be a step too far, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

“Just a small one, nothing too much. Is that okay?” I was aware he’d moved closer, a ghost of a breath on my cheek.

I turned to look at him. He looked hopeful and moved a little closer still, his face so close to mine I could see the light stubble on his face. His lips pressed against mine and I pulled back, unsure. Was anyone watching?

“I can stop, sorry.” He looked worried and I couldn’t have that. It wasn’t his fault.

“No, don’t, please. Do it again. I’m ready, I promise.”

I licked my lips in anticipation as he kissed mine again. There was a subtle hint of coffee and mints and I loved it. I’d seen men and women kiss on the big screen, wondering if it was any different and when he tilted his head, moving his lips against mine, I realised everything was the same.

“You need to move your lips too, you know,” he said, pulling back and smiling. “Shall we try again?”

We did, and this time, I moved my lips. When he licked the seam of my mouth, I opened up on instinct, gasping as he slipped his tongue inside my mouth, tangling with my own.

It was everything I’d wanted and more, and I felt that warmth in the pit of my stomach, gradually moving south. An involuntary moan left my mouth, a similar one leaving Toby’s.

I was overwhelmed with emotion. Feelings I’d never had before flooded my body. It was all too much.

“Stop. I’m sorry.” I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

Toby rested his forehead on mine, gently caressing the back of my neck.

“It’s okay. It moved fast then, I’m sorry, I should have realised this is all new to you.”

“I’ve just never done that before. It was nice though.” I hesitated. “Can we do it again?”

His reply was another kiss to my now eager mouth. This time I kissed him back, learning as I went. He licked and nipped at my lips and it took everything in me not to moan out loud. Could a ghost come from just kissing? I wasn’t sure if we were about to find out.

His hand still held the back of my neck, his thumb slowly caressing my hairline. I held onto his arms, not entirely sure what to do with them.

I could have done this all day with him, but I knew our time, or more importantly, his time was limited.

“I’d love to carry on with this, but don’t you have things you need to be doing right now?”

“Nope, nothing is more important than this. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this with anyone.”

“I’m a ghost, Toby. What if nothing ever happens? What if I’m stuck in this limbo until my passing next year? She said I had eighty years. I don’t know why that amount of time is significant, but to her, it meant something. I just don’t know what.”

“You don’t feel like a ghost and you certainly don’t kiss like a ghost…..not that I’ve kissed many. Erm, any, none at all. I’ve never kissed a ghost before.” I laughed as Toby rambled. His discomfort was funny.

“Well, I should hope not. Glad to hear you’re not making a habit out of it.”

“I certainly don’t. This is a first for me in more ways than one.” We sat holding hands for a moment longer before he spoke again. “Can anyone else see you or just me?”

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